copycat names

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
copycat names
16
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 5:59pm
Suppose you thought of a special name for your baby that had deep significance to you, because you researched your geneaology to find that unique name (it was the name of an ancestor) and not only that, but the name was rather unique. Just as an example, say you name her "Patriziana". It has a lot of meaning to you, not only because its an ancestor's name, but it also reflects your ethnic heritage/culture as well. So, that's the name you pick. Suppose then, that your a couple you know have a baby a few months later..and guess what they name her? Your child's name. Obviously copied from you. How would you feel about that?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2004
In reply to: leafygreens
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 8:44pm
If I used a name as uncommon and unique as Patriziana and a couple I knew and was friendly with decided to name their child the same thing I would be very mad. My mother on the other hand would tell me to calm down and not to worry because I should be flattered that the couple liked the name so much that they decided to use it. But, no matter what she says I would be mad if they used the same name as me (even if the name was Emily), especially if it is something so different and unique.
Avatar for devonelisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: leafygreens
Wed, 04-20-2005 - 4:16am

Initially?

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
In reply to: leafygreens
Wed, 04-20-2005 - 10:20am
flattered...but annoyed
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
In reply to: leafygreens
Wed, 04-20-2005 - 10:43am

That's how I would feel exactly. I can't stand the idea of picking a special name for my child, and someone else copycatting it. Especially if it was a super-original name. If I named my baby "Mary" I don't feel I could be upset if someone else used that name, however.

BTW - I like the name Madeleine!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
In reply to: leafygreens
Wed, 04-20-2005 - 10:56am

something that ususual that's practically unheard of, I'd be disgusted if someone did that

if it's a known name, albeit rarely heard, then you can't really accuse them of stealing it although they probably did. I'd still be upset, especially if was so uncommon, but there isn't much you can do

the worse scenario is when you have a name picked out, and someone uses it BEFORE your baby is born

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: leafygreens
Wed, 04-20-2005 - 12:36pm

For me, it doesn't set well. Certainly, there are no copyrights on names, but I spent entirely too much of my life looking for the right name for my children to have it "snatched." My kids' names are so obscure, it would be entirely obvious in the very small town where I live.

I actually had one mom (while pregnant 10 months after I had my son) come up to me and say, "If it's a boy, I'm using your son's name. I know that's rude but ever since I heard it, nothing else will do." She had a girl. The second time she was pregnant was after I had my daughter. She came up to me and said, "I'm considering your daughter's name, only it will be part of a double name and she's five years younger, so who cares, right?" I said, "I do." She used the name but transposed a few letters so it sounds different.

I had another mother, pregnant with twins, say, "If one is a girl, she will have your daughter's name..." She had been telling me this my daughter's entire life, but she could never get pregnant. The twins were both girls. She couldn't find a good "match" to my daughter's name (I wasn't surprised---LOL) so she went with two other names. However, she told other people she would be using the name too. One of them was another acquaintance of mine who was also pregnant. She told me about it and added, "I'm so excited. I want to use the name too. Some other people do too. But no one wants to be the first since it's so apparent it would be a copy. But if she uses it, and mine is a girl, I'll be using it too." She had a boy.

What is always appalling to me is that many people are comfortable with imitation. I strive, in everything I do, to be my own person. My mom always says, "Oh but, imitation is the highest form of flattery." I don't buy it. There are 35,000 names out there. Find another one. In fact, I actually made the mother of the twins a list of other obscure names I had considered, just to communicate to her that my daughter's name isn't the only pretty, unique name out there!

JMO... Take care, Ginger--- mom to Grantson Metz & Wellsley Michae

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
In reply to: leafygreens
Wed, 04-20-2005 - 12:40pm
I would feel flattered that they loved the name enough to use it. That other couple obviously thought the name you chose was so beautiful they wanted to use it for their daughter too. Think of it this way....have you ever heard a name and thought "Wow, that's perfect!"? What if you had heard the name from someone else....wouldn't you still have used it, or would you have chosen a name you didn't like as much just because you heard the name from someone else?


Edited 4/20/2005 12:46 pm ET ET by simonenicole
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
In reply to: leafygreens
Wed, 04-20-2005 - 4:00pm
It's a form of flattery....lighten up.
Avatar for devonelisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: leafygreens
Thu, 04-21-2005 - 7:18am

But who needs flattery?

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
In reply to: leafygreens
Thu, 04-21-2005 - 10:44am

OMG, Devon, I love reading your posts. I totally agree with you, which is probably why the last one was so hilarious to me.

You're absolutely right -- it is rather insensitive to tell anyone to "lighten up" over something that is obviously close to their hearts...I mean, we are all here reading and writing these posts because we care (possibly an inordinate amount) about naming our children. If I had put so much time and energy into choosing a meaningful, unusual but attractive name for my child and then some unimaginative (and shameless!) person clearly "borrowed" it a few months later, I would be livid. But what can you do? Short of packing up and moving in search of Patriziana-less country, not much. If you go around telling everyone "she stole that name," you would end up being the one looking silly. It's sort of a lose-lose.

I do respect those who just look at it as flattery, which, of course, it is...but I would be positively incensed. So it is a personality issue. I do think, however, that the original poster was probably less looking for our opinions on how we would feel, and more looking to vent some righteous anger. Or maybe that's just hot-headed me...anyway, lucky for me DH is of the more laid-back variety who would probably just be like, "oh, well. They're stupid and unimaginative. But what can you do?" and would talk me down from the ledge. ;-)

ANYWAY, leafygreens, I would be angry, indignant, and probably rather disgusted...but as I said before...what CAN you do? Rise above, I guess, (that classic "what the heck does that really mean" response)...or be a "Better Person" and not "Sink To That Level"? Okay, I'm running out of comfort cliches, I'll stop. But heck, it does totally suck.

Pages