Disgruntled mother-in-law

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2007
Disgruntled mother-in-law
6
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 4:50pm
My husband and I found out three days ago that I am FINALLY pregnant. :) It has taken me over 10 years to get pregnant! So, this is definately a blessing. My husband told his mother the other night that I am pregnant and needless to say she told him she hopes I have a miscarriage! Her and I DO NOT get along at all! I do not want to have any contact with her now or even when our baby is born especially due to the comment she made to my husband! Is this wrong for me to feel this way? What do I do??
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 5:15pm
What?! If your MIL really said something that terribly vicious, I'd have to say she probably needs some professional help. So yes, I think it's reasonable to keep her away from your child. It would seem she'd be indifferent to a grandchild anyway, having already wished its demise. Save a stamp on that particular shower invite, and congrats on your little miracle. ;)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 5:33pm

That is the most awful thing I have ever heard of anyone saying. You are completely right to be upset.

Your husband needs to have a talk with her. What did he say when she made that awful comment? He needs to stand up for you and your unborn child.

I think you should limit your contact with her during your pregnancy. You will probably not be able to have NO contact with her, but limit your contact with her, and be polite when you see her, and that is all. For example, if there is a wedding or baptism or birthday party for another family member, you should go, but just be civil towards her when you see her. Definitely do not complain about her to other family members... you will only end up being the bad guy. Ignore her and her comments to the extent possible.

Once the baby is born, give her an initial opportunity to change. I think babies have a way of turning inlaws around. If she decides to "play nice" in order to see her grandchild, let her. But if she continues behaving this way, again just see her when absolutely necessary. If she is mean or abusive to your child, cut off all contact.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. She sounds like a mean person.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2005
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 5:44pm

Wow. That is absolutely horrifying. I cannot fathom what sort of person would say such an awful thing about ANYONE let alone their daughter-in-law.

I think you are absolutely reasonable to avoid contact with her as much as possible. I sincerely hope that your husband told his mother that her comment was inappropriate and that he will not tolerate those sorts of things said in his presence.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 6:05pm
You do nothing except talk to your husband and explain why you no longer want any contact with her. You should also expect him to understand why you don't want him to have contact either. I would expect that he is equally outraged.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 6:20pm

Oh, Aimee, I'm so sorry you had to hear a comment like that under any circumstances but esp. after you've struggled for so long to get here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2005
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 7:32pm

I totally agree with you.

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