Does your DH's family drive you nuts ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Does your DH's family drive you nuts ?
18
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 4:54pm
Both of us come from large families.We are very close with both families which has it's good and bad points.Right now I wish I lived in Australia.That would be very far away from my MIL and SIL.My SIL,Julie,is pregnant for the 1st time.You would think that no one else in the whole world had ever been pregnant.Her parents fawn over her every minute.She throughly investigates evry baby product,stroller,crib,etc.The rest of us that have children no nothing about anything.

She is insistent an getting a Bugaboo(I don't know if that is spelled correctly)stroller.It is the only one "suitable" for her child.I told her that my MacClaren was wonderful but she turned her rhinoplastied nose up at it. She is getting some round crib that "makes the baby fill more secure".I think it costs $1000.My inlaws are buying all of this stuff dor her.

I guess I am a little jealous since we bought all most every thing for the triplets.My DH was just starting out in his job when they were born so we didn't have lots of money.My parents helped us with $3000.His parents bought us car seats.I know I should not feel jealous.That is so wrong to be like that.But I am.Plus we are having twins,too.

My MIL gave SIL a shower(she doesn't have many friends) on SUnday.Mostly it was family and MIL's friends.SIL got $1000s in gifts including the bugaboo stroller($900) from DH's grandmother,crib fromhis parents,carseat(Britax)from Aunt Ellen,Peg Perego High Chair,etc.She got $100 Christian Dior outfits.She is having a boy.She will not say what they are naming him.Sorry that I am whining.

Then at the shower MIL asked in front of everyone what we were naming our babies.I said we didn't know.She pushed and pushed until I said that I liked Miranda.She said she hated that.She said I should use Rosa(yuck) or Harriet(yuck,DH Great Grandma name).I tried to be nice and say we would think about it.She kept saying she wanted me to say yes in front of all of these people so I couldn't go back on it.i was almost in tears.Then she said she hated Margaret Arabella.She said Daisy was such an old fashioned name.Why didn't I use names like madison or Sage or MacKenzie ? She said Liza just made people think of "ugly Liza Minelli".She said Christian was also a stupid name.I should have used Christopher.

I ended up just leaving early.I said I didn't feel well which was true.When I told DH he said just ignore it.

Now he thinks maybe Madison Rosa and Mackenzie Harriet are good names.No WAy !!!!

Am I wrong ?

I don't even know any names that I like any more.

MIL called and said "I hope you don't use those old fashioned,British sounding names".

So can anyone come up with really old fashioned British sounding names ???

I like Sophie,Charlotte,Camille,Annabelle,Caroline,Helen,Sarah.I will use old fashioned British names just because I like them but also because MIL is a pain in the A--- !

Thanks,

Jenni

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 5:49pm
Don't you listen to her! Nobody has the right to criticize your children's names except you who named them :)

Your MIL is lucky you have blessed her with 3 (almost 5) beautiful grandchildren. That should be enough for her!

Don't feel bad about your SIL and other members of the family living better than you. My MIL is co-star of a syndicated tv show and makes $10,000 per month alone. My FIL has worked in a factory for 20+ years, 12-16 hours a day and makes $20+ an hour. Both SILs are married to military men and one of them is studying to be a lawyer. She also just won a lawsuit that granted her almost $100,000. Both my SILs have only one child. Meanwhile, I work in a convenience store 30 hours a week making $6.50 per hour, and my DH is trying to start his own business (which you know means he's bringing in almost nothing!) We are living in a rent-free home (my ILs own it, ironically) and are living hand-to-mouth. We are struggling to pay our bills (say nothing of Christmas and birthdays) and raise two healthy boys while my ILs live luxuriously.

:o) Well, that was fun lol Luckily, though, my ILs are great people and they help us out from time to time and especially if we get into a jam. They would never criticize my choice of names...Of course, I have never mentioned my favorite girls' names, Margaret and Annabeth. Just to be on the safe side :)

Oh, my, I typed so much just then. Sorry this was so long!

Good Luck!

~ Liz, mom to Christopher and Nicholas

btw, what names ARE you considering, if I might ask? :o)



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 9:03pm
Well, I think Miranda is a beautiful name! I also like the other names you mentioned as well. They are perfectly fine names and you shouldn't hesitate to use any name that you like just because your family members disapprove. The only people that have to agree on a name are you and your husband. Personally, I would veto Madison Rosa or McKenzie Harriet. I agree with you--NMSAA! Maybe you could compromise and come up with something like Miranda Rose (but definitely not Miranda Rosa--too many "a" sounds at the end). Something like that might make a lovely compromise. Of the other names you threw out there, I especially love Helen. I think it's Greek in origin. I wish it was used more. This was my grandmother's name. DH and I already have already chosen Evelyn Grace (both are family names) for a girl's name if the baby we are expecting is a girl, but if we were ever two be blessed with two girls, I'd use the name Helen in a heartbeat. Maybe even Helen Delilah, as my grandmother Helen's mother's name was Delilah. So Helen gets a big thumbs up from me, if it's a name that you like! Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 9:15pm
AAhhh. The IL had their chance to name kids. She should just leave you alone.

Just a rant. My MIL brings up names about once a week. She was under some kind of incorrect impression that DH and I were using the name "Ella Betsey." NO WAY. DH liked the idea behind it (the initials of his granddad) we say no to the names, though. We keep repeating that we are NOT officially naming the baby until she is born. I'm not even sure about names I liked 2 weeks ago. I don't want to get tired of a name before we even have the child to go with it. MIL wanted one of my nieces to be Christabel. I think that sounds like a cow's name. DH thought the same thing with the name Betsey.


crazy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2003
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 10:56pm
Let me get this straight, in front of others your MIL is telling you that she hates the names of your children, HER grandchildren. Not names you are considering for this child, but the kids who are already born???!!! Someone who treats you like that should have NO influence over this decision. Madison? Sage? Mackenzie???? These names over Liza (love!) and Margaret (triple love!)!!

Please stick to your guns, she named your DH and her naming days are done. You are carrying this child and will be her mother, you and DH are the only ones who have naming rights here.

Avatar for tuffykenwell
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 10-28-2004 - 2:22pm

When we had our name list shortened to 4 (Niamh, Maebh, Deirdre and Fiona) my MIL asked what names we were considering and we told her. She said "keep looking" and I just said...no it WILL be one of those names we just haven't decided which.


When we went to Thanksgiving dinner with the extended IL family (we're Canadian so it was 2 weekends ago) she started making fun of the names again...I pointed out that she was going to feel like a jerk when one of those names was attached to her grand-daughter and she quieted right down...


Of course if your MIL is insulting names of your children already living (OMG...that really sucks!) then I don't know what you could possibly say to make her wise up! All I do know is that these

momma to

Rhys, Niamh, Isla and Deirdre!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Thu, 10-28-2004 - 7:27pm
Thank you so much for all of your kind words.

I adore Evelyn Grace !!

I am not using Madison or macKenzie.I am just too traditional for those names.

Helen is just a name that I have liked for a long time but never said anything about it.I thought I would just hear negative comments.

J
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Thu, 10-28-2004 - 7:31pm
Thanks for all of your kindness.

It isn't so much the things as the difference MIL makes between her son and daughter.Julie gets everything and Marc gets zip.Of course,the other sibs get very little if anything.Julie is "the baby" and has always been spoiled.

We are so lucky to be blessed with the life we have.Even if we don't have nor want a $900 stroller.

I have no idea about names.HELP !!!

God bless.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Thu, 10-28-2004 - 7:34pm
You are so right about ILs.

Cristobel sounds like a cow or cheese.

IMy best friend is named Betsy so it doesn't make me think of a cow.She is beautiful with blonde hair and big brown eyes.She is also the smartest person I have ever known.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Thu, 10-28-2004 - 7:43pm
Yes,it was in front of about 75 people.She said,"Jennifer and Mark are so old fashioned.They saddled their children with horrid names.No one is Margaret or Liza anymore.It is just because Mark loves The Great Gatsby and wanted a Daisy.What a silly name.Next will you use Lilly?Why not be modern and use Madison or Sage or MacKenzie?Liza just makes me think of ugly Liza Minelli(I personally love Liza Minelli).Please don't be so prudish this time around.Of course,you must use Rosa and Harriet for middle names.They are family names on our side."

As far as I am concerned she can get her dear daughterJulie to name her son Harry for Harriet.I am not using either one.

Thanks for your nice words.I am so glad that others like Margaret and Liza.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Thu, 10-28-2004 - 7:48pm
Thanks.She is just a horrible woman.She is very wealthy.Her husband( a nice man) adores her.She is self centered and selfish.She never got along with Julie( her daughter that is pg).Now they are acting like best friends.Julie is using her to get the expensive baby stuff.Once the baby is here Julie will split except IF she allows her Mom to babysit.She babysat for ours 2 times.Once when they were 2 1/2 for 3 hours and once several months ago when I was in the hospital.She stayed until my sister could get there.

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