Family tradition: Break or keep

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Family tradition: Break or keep
20
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 1:59am
I'm 5 months pregnant, my boyfriend and I don't want to know the sex until the time comes, but we have a little disagreement. His father, Arturo Keith, wanted all of his childen to have a first name with started with an A, and middle name with a K, I don't mind that but the thing is that my boyfriend is Arturo Keith Jr. and he and basically his whole family says that they want this child, if it's a boy to be Arturo Keith III. I'm not to fond of that name but I don't know what to do about. If you have any advice I would very pleased to hear from you.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2005
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 7:43am

I feel for you! DH's family has been passing down the name Alton for a while and I'm not a fan of it so I'm trying to get DH to pass down his fn instead.

Is there any way you could compromise and use Arturo for a mn? Either that or see if you can talk him into using Arturo for the fn and see if you can dig up a mn from your family tree. Your boyfriend might be more open to a name that has connections to both families if your baby can't be Arturo III.

GL!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2004
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 7:49am
I am not a fan of Jr's or III's so maybe you can appease them by picking just a fn with an A and a mn with a K
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 9:42am
i think the name itself is fine, but i am not one for jr's or III's. just kinda a corney tradition (no offense) in my opinion.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2005
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 11:14am
While you may not like the name, it's very important to your family and your husband. I think it's important for a man to be able to pass on his name.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 1:07pm

It's your child too. What if there were also a tradition in YOUR family that the first son have the initials S.G., for example? What then?

Naming a baby is often a compromise between the mother and father's wishes. It really shouldn't be the decision of other family unless you specifically ASK for their help. Since you aren't opposed to the initials A.K., I think that's the best compromise. Then the initials do remain the same.

To honor their tradition, I would do one of the following-

1. Keep the initials.
2. Offer to let them choose between Arturo & Keith for the middle name.
3. Name him the third and call him Trey, Trip, Trice, Trece(trayce), Bo, Pete or Chip. All of these are nn for Jrs./III. Perhaps you will like one of these nn better.
4. He gets to name boys. You get to name girls.

Let us know what you decide. Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 2:49pm

Don't do it if you don't like the name! My SIL felt pressured to name her son Michael III and she didn't like the name. So, somehow he ended up being called "Tiger" since she didn't like Michael. He's almost 2 and we still call him Tiger! It's your son and you should give him a name that you like! JMO.

Megan

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2004
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 3:06pm

I hope this doesn't come off rudely as I do not mean it that way. I just wanted to point out that you spoke about your "Boyfriend". That would make you unmarried. I would be a little cautious about naming the baby after him...To make him a true III he would need to have his fathers last name. I would have qualms about giving my child the last name of a boyfriend, unless I happend to be engaged with a wedding date set. I have seen too many girls have babies with the "BF" then using his last name, then dad dissappearing, leaving Mom and baby with different last names and a whole lot of questions.

I would suggest like a lot of the others did and succumb to naming the baby with A.K. initials, but wouldn't go for the Trey title. Not to mention you aren't a huge fan of the name anyway....it's your baby...you and bf get to name it whatever you want...the family will get over it.

Good Luck and keep us posted.

Amber

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 8:21pm
Sorry for my opinion, but kids that I went to school with were not well liked if their name was "blah blah blah the II", and "blah blah blah the III". I think that is horrible to do to your kid. Personally, I would break this family tradition, or bargin with it. Like you can name your son(If you end up having a boy) whatever for the first name, and then Arturo or Arthur for his middle name, cuz then he will still have it, but he won't have to be the III or IV; LOL! Good luck!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2005
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 8:24pm
Funny how it's always the mans family passing down a name, but women are the ones having the baby. Yes w/ your partner, but what if your family had a tradition? Which one would you go with? I would start a new trend and go with a name you both agree on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2005
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 9:08am
Breaking tradition can break some hearts. Why do we have these traditions that seem so male centered this day and age? I can say consider carefully what this means to your significant other. Could this be something real, real important to him? If you are going to be with this man for the long haul, it may be something that is important enough to honor. If you are not so sure...then use your own choice for a name. I come from a family that passed on names from both sides. My Dad was a FRED, his Dad, his grandfather...so of course my brother was a FRED IV. What a name! Fred! Blah! It was not the coolest name for my brother to have but it seemed to be something he was proud of later. He was far from being a dork and somehow managed to make a geeky name work for him...roman numerals and all. He seems to have this guy connection with my Dad and those before them...something you cannot measure or buy. I wasn't surprised when my brother and his wife named their son FRED V a few years ago. My older sister also got my Mother's name, Kathryn. So, I was the odd ball in our family. The only one with an original name. Now as I face the birth of my own daughter I really have no desire to extend my name to the junior, roman numeral next generation level. I want her first name to be hers...maybe a middle name for a hand-me-down. I use to envy my brother and sister for having their connections name wise with our parents. Now I see it really come down to more than a name to be part of a family. I do pity my nephew (Fred V) a little and wonder if he will name his son Fred VI one day. Good luck. You will make the decision that works for you and the baby's father...for your own reasons. That is what matters.

Pages