Giving baby 2 last names?

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Registered: 02-19-2004
Giving baby 2 last names?
5
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 11:38am

Dh and I have been married 20 years come June and are expecting our 6th baby, a boy. We have struggled with having a short, very popular last name. The problems with a common last name become more and more apparent. When I go to the Dr., dentist, etc. they have someone else's chart pulled. Recently, our oldest dd, 18 years, was sent threatening letters claiming she owed money to a creditor. We hope that has been proven wrong but other things have affected her. When she applied to colleges, she missed out on scholarships she was qualified for when her info / references were mistakenly put in another student's file with the same name.

My 16 year old dd also deals with having a common first and last name and would like to change her last name to my maiden name hyphen last name. I am throwing around the idea of giving the new baby my maiden name as well as dad's last name so we don't have to change it later. My dh hasn't really commited to changing the last name.

Would it just seem too awkward having a new baby with a double last name that no one else yet shares? I will be checking on what the name change process is like. I don't want to create additional headaches but I'm tired of all of us being tormented with other's lives who share the same name.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Rebecca, mom to 5, edd 8/5/07

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Registered: 09-29-2005
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 12:46pm

I'm definitely not a fan of giving this child a different ln (or double ln) not shared by the rest of the sibs. Especially in a family where the children are relatively spread-out age-wise, it makes it seem this was a second marriage (different mother or father than the other kids). There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but having known quite a few families where this is the case, the younger child(ren) often feel left out. Like the older one's are more their aunts and uncles or cousins rather than actual siblings. A common bond, such as a shared surname, helps a great deal. In fact, many of these blended families I know have gone as far as to change the surname of ALL the children (either to the father's or to a double ln, to include everyone).


So if you were changing all the kids' surnames, that would be one thing, but to simply give this child a different one seems odd.


A more practical option would be to simply choose a less common FIRST name. To use my own dd's as examples, Devanie Smith would be MUCH less common -- and therefore less likely to run into the sort of mix-ups you're worried about -- than Abigail Smith. It's really that simple. ;)


HTH

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Registered: 06-17-2003
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 1:50pm
Although I'm not sure about your baby having name the other children do not have, I did hyphenate my daughters name. Although sometimes it's a pain bc people roll their eyes or they act like it's a huge inconvenience to type a hyphen, I'm happy I did. My father passed away a month after I was married and I was relieved that I hyphenated. Now I still had something of my dads. When I found out I was pregnant a few years later, I never doubted her having something of my dads. It is exciting for me, when I write her name, when I hear it called or even sometimes when people are annoyed! ;)

Me (32), DH (32). History: Miscarriage @ 8 wks in 8/99. Stopped "trying" until 2003.
DX w/PCOS in 9/03. Put on Metformin. Then Clomid/Metformin for 3 mos in 1/04. Metformin/C

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Registered: 01-15-2007
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 2:40pm
Name changes are easy. I frankly don't see a problem with the youngest having a hyphenated last name, regardless whether the older children have a hyphenated last name. And I don't think anyone will feel left out, especially because you will surely explain to your kids(if it ever comes up) why you made the choice, i.e., you learned from the older kids' experiences that this would help. If the older ones want to go hyphenated at some point, they can always do that, too. And/or you could give the new baby an unnusual first name (doesn't have to be off the wall, just uncommon).
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2005
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 2:51pm

That seems very unnecessary to me. Just give your baby a more unique fn.

-Nikki
http://destastory.blogspot.com/


                             
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 3:37pm

My suggestion...make the baby's middle name your maiden name and then they can decide if they want to use it with the last name or not.