how much space do you recommend???

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2005
how much space do you recommend???
9
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 12:24am
i have been talkign to hubby about another baby, how much time do you think we should have between babies? our baby now is almost 4 months. i have a son to be 5 in july,a dn he has a daughter to be 11 in aug. how much time do you recommend to have between each child, or the one we are talking about????
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 12:37am

Well, our first two girls are 3 1/2 years apart, and that seemed to work out really well, because the oldest was mature enough to understand what was going on and not be jealous or feel displaced by the new baby, not to mention being able to play an active role in the pregnancy/birth/everyday care of her sister and even be old enough to remember it all.

This time around, however, we'll only have about 16 months between this new baby and our youngest. So far, it's actually been a lot easier than I would have imagined, probably because I feel like I've just done all the pregnancy stuff and nothing's really new or unexpected. Plus, with an almost-5-year-old and 1-year-old to look after the time really seems to fly by! ;) Obviously, the baby doesn't totally comprehend what's going on or anything (although she does point to/hug/kiss my belly and say baby - she loves babies LOL), but we'll see how it goes once her baby sister gets here (sometime in the next two weeks or so).

HTH somehow ;)

~Kelli


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2005
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 1:55pm

Our first 2 boys are 18 months apart, and it seems close, but it is great, especially the older they get. They are each others playmate (and yes, they fight like crazy as well!) Now with our third boy, there is 2 1/2 years between him and my younger one. So at this point, we have a 4 year old, a 2 1/2 year old and a newborn at 2 weeks old.

As for me, I was the middle child growing up with 1 sister 2 years older than me and 1 brother 2 years younger than me. It seemed perfect because we were close enough in age, but not too close.

My sister-n-law has 2 boys, with 4 years difference and she loves her age gap between her two. I guess it all is what you are comfortable with and I feel you adjust to what you are given.

theresa

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2004
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 1:58pm

My boys are 6 and 3, 3 years and 3 weeks apart. I like this age difference, they're still close enough in age to play together (some days, lol) but yet at the same time the oldest one still looks out for the youngest one. We are planning on ttc next Spring and if all goes well then the next one will be almost 5 1/2 yrs younger than my youngest now. That will put my boys at ages 8 and 5, which is what we want. Then they are more independent and I can focus my attention on the baby during the day when they are both at school. We are also thinking about a 4th and if we do then I'd like the 2 youngest to be 3 yrs apart just like the 2 I have now. I think it would be tough to have 2 little ones so close in age. I know many do it, but it's not for me, lol. Although, dh is convinced we're having twin girls next time, lol.

Terra.
Mommy to Ethan Robert and Logan Ryley

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2005
Fri, 04-07-2006 - 1:32am
just want to thank you for your input, now Dh is undecided. he dont want tooo many crying at one time..........says his heart can't take it.........I think he's a baby as well. but thankyou, and i will know what to do somewhat when its the right time..............good luck......i pray for you to have twin girls!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2006
Fri, 04-07-2006 - 11:43am
My brother's 3 years younger than me, my sister's 5 years younger and my youngest brother's 7 years younger than me... not sure if that's any help. Really, any amount of time I guess. We were all 2 or 3 years apart, and we're fine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-1999
Fri, 04-07-2006 - 12:29pm

I think that there are pros & cons to have closely spaced siblings.

My two youngest are only 18 months apart. When ds#3 was born, it was diffacult to give my little toddler everything he needed too, & tend to the baby. My oldest son was 4.5, & he was a bit more independent.

However, now that Justin & Matthew are 13 & 15, they're extreamly close. Billy (who is 18) is close w/both of them too, but there's not the same bond that there is between the really closely spaced two younger brothers. Do you see what I'm saying? It might be more diffacult when theyr'e younger if you have them really close together, but as they get into their school years, it might be better.

Hope this helps! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Fri, 04-07-2006 - 2:21pm

Quite by accident my first 2 DS ended up 18 months apart. It was hard in the beginning, although the older one became independent in some good ways pretty early on (i.e. feeding himself, getting his juice out of the fridge, fetching things for the baby, etc.) whereas my younger one is almost 3 and STILL wants me to feed him. But they are almost 3 and almost 4 1/2 now and play very nice together (yes, of course, and annoy each other) but definitely look out for one another and play with each other's friends.

Now this baby will be 3 years from my younger one and I think I will have jealously from the boys that I did not have the first time around because at 18months old, DS didn't know any better. But it should be easier up front because the boys will be old enough to do things on their own AND play together when I can't play with them. But it was hard enough in the beginning that I NEVER would have done 18 months again! Once is enough for that!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2005
Sat, 04-08-2006 - 12:34am

There is just over 2 years between my first 2 and they have always gotten along great (for siblings!!). She was too young when he came along to really be jealous.

Then again I also have nearly 16 & 14 years between 1, 2 & 3. They are REALLY beyond the jealousy stage!! LOL!! Actually they just love her to pieces...and as she gets older you can tell the feeling is mutual!!

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Avatar for chandlerkarleesma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sat, 04-08-2006 - 7:59pm
well my first and second are 2yrs and 2 1/2ths apart so i though that was good.#2 and #3 arew only 19 1/2mths apartand they did great.none were jealous over each other at all.but i never thought i'd have 3 in less than 4yrs.but even now they paly goof together-the fight but then they play great with each other.weve been considering a 4th.my baby is 3yrs so its been having a break and actually getting them through diapers and formula and if we do have a 4th-all 3 will be in school so we are not sure what we are doing.i think its easier having them closer. but then again its nice having a little spread.