Husband won't discuss names

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2006
Husband won't discuss names
7
Sun, 04-02-2006 - 4:37am
I need some help. My husband and I have been arguing about this for months and I am getting annoyed. I kind of talk about it and he listens, but he doesn't want to compromise. He wants to name our baby Hero, and I really don't care for the name. I like Maddox, Maxwell and Preston. Azure or Suraj for a middle name. I have listened to him when he really doesn't like names that I choose because I want it to be something that we agree on. I am 32 weeks now and getting antsy. I don't want to push him but I think we really need to discuss it. He gets really offended when we talk about it not being Hero. Any advice. Do you guys like any of the names? It makes me so sad that it is such a sore subject, I really want it to be a happy thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Sun, 04-02-2006 - 6:16am
Well, considering your husband doesnt want to talk about it pick a name out yourself. You are giving birth, and he is the one being complicated. Tell him you feel he is ignoring you about the "Name" subject, so you have solved the problem. There won't have to be anymore discussion about it. Then, you will have a little less stress in your life. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2005
Sun, 04-02-2006 - 1:28pm

Of your poll, I chose Preston, but am reconsidering Maddox. But Hero??? Does your husband say why he is so set on that name?? Ugh. Maybe convince him as a middle name??

Theresa

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2004
Sun, 04-02-2006 - 1:36pm

Oh, goodness, if he were insisting on "John" or something and your objection was that it was too boring, I'd probably tell you to get over it and call him by his middle name. But, I think pretty much all of us are behind your decision to fight "Hero." That's an awful name. I agree with the previous poster who said to just pick out a name that you like, and be done with it. I know that this may cause some serious hard feelings, but if you've been understanding about his objections to the names you like, then I think it's certainly incumbant on him to listen to your objections about Hero. Best case scenario, of course, is that he works with you to compromise on a name that both of you can deal with. This may mean that you don't get to name your son a name that you absolutely love, but hey, at least you won't spend the rest of your life with a kid named Hero.

I'm trying to think of name where Hero could be used as the nickname, but nothing springs to mind. I'll keep thinking about it.

Do you think he'd be open to letting Hero be his nickname for your son? A family that I know named their son Kenny Darryl, III (no, not Kenneth) because the dad pitched such a fit about passing on his and his dad's name. But, the mom wanted to name her son Jay, so that's what she calls him (and really, so does everyone else, because who wants to look at a little boy and call him Kenny?). Anyway, it's not the best alternative, but hey, desperate times call for desperate measures, as they say.

Avatar for haarlasr
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 04-02-2006 - 2:20pm

That's extremely frustrating that he won't even discuss other names, especially since all of parenting should be a collaborative effort. Would he consider Hero as a mn, and then he could use it as his own name for the baby? Or maybe you could do something like Heath Rowan, nn Hero?

We had a lot of difficulty coming up with names for our 2nd DD. The only names my DH liked were Katherine and Erin, and I wanted something with a little more spunk (but not too unusual with our difficult last name). He hated all my choices (Amelia, Eliza, etc.), so I finally started going through every name I could think of and making him pick at least 5 names that he liked. Eventually, we found a family name (Julianna) that we could agree on. It also worked for us b/c he had liked Julie, and I liked Anna, so it was a compromise.

Good luck to you!
Stephanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Sun, 04-02-2006 - 3:12pm
I agree--- you can't name your baby Hero. Is your husband openly happy about the pregnancy? I can't imagine anyone really wanting to name a child Hero. If I were you, I'd drop it completely....not talk about namess at all with him. If he brings up Hero, tell him you don't wantot discuss it. Eventually, and it may be right as the baby is born, you will have ot simply say, "Hero is not an option. Give me your second choice." If it is as crazy as Hero, you name him. Having had a baby myself, the mother ultimately has the privilege of naming him/her. You can't name him Hero.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Sun, 04-02-2006 - 5:27pm

I agree with the pps. You may have to get tough with your husband and take over the naming process if he won't cooperate. Your child will thank you for it. Life for a Hero would be very difficult, IMO. It's a great name if you're leading Delta Force against the agents of COBRA, but what if Hero grows up to be an accountant or a car salesman? If your hubby won't compromise, tell him you'll be naming your children and he can name your sandwiches! :)

If this doesn't work, remind him that Hero is a girls name. The female character from "Much Ado About Nothing" is the first literary example that pops into my mind, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who will think of it. Campaign that Hero is "girly" not "brawny" and you might change his mind.




Edited 4/2/2006 5:32 pm ET by allietx529

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2006
Sun, 04-02-2006 - 6:24pm
I really appreciate all the advice. He may consider it as a mn, but I really don't want it to be in his name at all. I am thinking that if he doesn't want to discuss it... which is really sad, then I will just name him myself. Thank you all again