I WANT TO SMACK MY HUSBAND!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2005
I WANT TO SMACK MY HUSBAND!!!
9
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 8:35am
Hello everyone, here's the situation:
our 2nd child is due in April and obviously we don't know what it is yet, so this is really a stupid fight to be having, but here it is:
Even before I knew I was pregnant, we had a boys name picked out. The first name is just a name we liked and the middle is after my dad. BUT my husband was looking at an old yearbook and saw a message from a guy I went out with like 2 TIMES (9 YEARS AGO!!!!!), and now he insists we can't use that name, because we can't name him after "an old boyfriend". A) he was never my BOYFRIEND and B) it's not AFTER him, I just like the name!!! What does everyone think, should I push him and try to get the name I really like (especially since he named our first son), or should I give up and start the gruelling process of finding another name??
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 10:50am

Most of us have moved on from our high school past, and rarely even think about it anymore. I'm sure it's the same with you. Ask him how often he thinks of his old high school girlfriends. (He'll probably say never-otherwise he'd get into trouble), and say that you feel the same way! He'll get over it!

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 11:40am
that's a tough one. I personally want my dh to love the name we gave our child and have no bad assiciations with it. How would you feel if the situation was reversed? Honestly. As pissed as I'd be, I'd try to find another name you both can agree on... but dont cross the other name off- maybe when the baby is born and IF it is boy- he may come around.


Edited 10/12/2005 11:42 am ET by aaotrl
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 12:12pm

Similar problem here...

I like the name Gregory...however, I dated a Greg once and because of the "association" when DH hears the name...I don't dare bring it up as a name for our son....

I would find another name....sorry....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 3:00pm
I think you should both agree on the name of your child....If he liked the name before he saw the yearbook I dont see what the big idea is. This is your childs name you are talking about...its not as if you are going to picture this other guy everytime you say your childs name or look at your child. I think if you both like the name then that should be the name you use.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 5:17pm
I can understand where you're both coming from. Personally, I know I would feel the same way he does if I were in his place. I would start thinking of a new name...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 6:32pm
It seems a lot of you agree with my husband, so I'm gonna make one more plea---lol
It's mostly the fact on my part that we had this name picked out before, and he liked it too! And IF it had been a serious relationship (well as serious as you can be at 17) or just before we met or something, I'd understand, but this was like a football game and a movie 9 years ago!! And actually, one of the names we discussed for a girl when our last son was born was Tricia, which is a different spelling of a girl he "dated" back in the day. And I knew that up front and was still fine with it, so what's the big deal? Well I'm going to check this for a few more days, then if nothing changes it'll be back to the name book, I guess!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 6:54pm

Boy, you are in a tough one. I totally agree with you and think he is being goofy about this whole thing. BUT, I know for certain that is the same way my husband would react!!! Maybe give him some time to cool down about it and he will come around. Besides, even if you pick another name, what if it doesn't "fit" the baby? That happened with our second son, he was supposed to be a Brett or a Joel, but after being born he didn't look like either; the next morning he was named Aaron!

Again, maybe your DH will let this pass, or maybe the two of you will find another name you both love even more. You will have to let us know what happens!

Theresa

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 7:23pm


I think that you and your husband needs to set down and talk about it. One of the names that I have picked out for a girl if I ever have one is the female verison of 1 of my ex-boyfriend, and my husband is ok with it. He just don't like the first name I had picked out to go with it. If my husband wanted to name a child after one of his ex's or a girl that he went on 2 dates with I think I would consider it and have no problem with it.

Julia