"if you cant say anything nice..."
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"if you cant say anything nice..."
| Fri, 03-17-2006 - 4:20pm |
then why say anything at all?
i just dont understand the few who make comments like, such-n-such name sounds like stripper (really, what moral-minded person would look at a child and think that anyway?)
dont see how is necessary to say rude remarks to someone who trully loves a name, or simply asking an opinion.
there is such a thing as constructive caring critcism, and being overly critical; especially with rude comments; is not constructive...certainly we are all intelligent enough to express ourselves better.
thank you very much
..remember just as you are a real person,
there's a real person on the other side of that computer screen.

I agree and disagree.
I definitely don't want people to tell me they like a name if they don't. I do want to hear the negatives as well as the positives, including any associations people might have. (And I don't want a name that is commonly used by strippers for my child, so if I propose a name that sounds like a stripper, I want to know.)
However, I do think lately there have been some really harsh remarks. Go ahead and say you hate a name for whatever reason. But you don't need to attack the poster. Calling someone selfish or stupid or saying something like "I pity your child" is really unnecessary.
I agree with your post, to a point. I feel if people are asking questions like, "what do you think of when you hear this name....." that you should be honest--if its a famous stripper, than you really can't help but make that association. Some people even say "please be honest" or "I would like your opinions". To me, they are asking for any negatives as well as positives.
Saying that, I do read posts sometimes when I think people have gone overboard. It hasn't happened lately that I have read, but then I haven't been up to date as I normally have been! (Past my due date so I am trying to relax!) For myself, there have been times when I have looked at a post with a name or name choices and just have not left any comments, because I did not like any names, for no other reason that they were not my style at all. Instead of remarking on how much I disliked the names, I jsut chose not to comment at all. Sometimes that may be the best thing to do!
I know we don't like to hear negative comments, but that is why a lot of people come to this board, to get opinions on names, both good and bad. I have a name I love and it was no one on this board who dashed my hopes on it--it was my own DH. I LOVE the name Callum, but all he can walk around saying is "Calomine Lotion!" Gotta love those hubbies, eh?!?!?
Theresa
I think you may be confusing "rude" comments with completely honest comments.
I, for one, try not to reply negatively to a post of an already chosen name (ie. "we've already picked this name for our child/this is our already-born child's name ... WDYT?"), unless I can reply positively, because the name is already set and doing so would simply be rude. However, if someone posts a name/names they are considering and asks for opinions/comments, I will give them. As some others mentioned, if the name is that of a well-known stripper, perhaps the mother would want to know that BEFORE choosing the name and having someone mention it once it's too late (or, worse, having the child be ridiculed because of it once they reach the age group that could make this association). This goes for other names with obvious teasing potential as well (or those with initials that might be just as unflattering). Not that anyone posting such observations should be attacking the original post, but that it's understandable that sometimes these things can be overlooked, and you would assume the parents would appreciate having such potentially negative associations pointed out to them ahead of time, if nothing else, so they can be prepared for someone else to make the connection rather than being caught offguard when little Harry Chest gets teased (and yes, I know there are worse combos out there ... just making a mild example LOL).
So you're right that people shouldn't be attacking/making fun of others' name choices, but if they are asking for opinions you have to expect that not all of them will be positive (and really, they shouldn't be, or there'd be no point in posting here). If you only want positive comments, don't ask for honest opinions, KWIM? ;)
~Kelli
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I agree with Kelli and the others, there would be very little point to me of posting name ideas if all people would give me is what I want to hear, rather than the honest truth. I would also refrain from commenting on a name I didn't like if the parents had already selected it.
I don't share name ideas with people I know in "real life" because if I end up choosing the name their "Ewww yuck" responses would hurt my feelings, but I feel safe putting names forward for honest critique here because that's what this board is about and, frankly, I don't see the posters on here in my day to day life so if one or two people hate my choice it doesn't bug me.
I do agree with you on one point which is that the poster should never be subject to personal attacks like "you are so stupid" or "I pity your child". Those comments aren't useful, they're just hurtful.