Knowing the Sex...
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Knowing the Sex...
| Wed, 06-16-2004 - 12:53pm |
I wanted to know your thoughts on finding out the sex of the baby before or after birth. In a way I would like to find out so I can plan the baby's room according to sex and people will know what to get for the baby shower. Then again I would also like to wait until the baby is born to find out.

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As far as decorating and clothes, we used the same nursery for all three children so we would have done it neutrally even if we knew the sex (because we wouldn't have any way of know subsequent children). I didn't get many clothes at showers because of not knowing the sex but those I got were greens and yellows and were able to be used with all my children. We got a ton of appropriate clothing AFTER they were born. And my babies spent the first couple of weeks in sleepers anyways so that really didn't matter! As far as bonding goes, I had no trouble bonding with the child in my womb, I didn't need to know it's sex to do that.
With my third, I had to have an amnio because of some issues the doctor was concerned with. My dh and I decided if the test results were bad we would find out the sex of the baby. That way we would come away from a bad experience with some good news. Luckily the results were good so we didn't find out the sex until her birth day. I loved having the doctor announce, after a very painful but fast, labor,--"IT"S A GIRL!!!".
Everyone is different though. Do what is right for you and your family. Best of luck.
Mary
I didn't find out with my first, because we wanted the surprise.
Monya, mom of Garrett and Olivia
We're going to be surprised!
Even if I knew the sex of my first one I would have decorated the nursery gender neutral and bought gender neutral clothes. We wanted more children and I wanted things that would last through several babies - regardless of the sex.
Since I've got the next baby's names picked out I've decided not to find out next time. I think it'll be fun to hear the doctor say "It's a ---" you know? So I'll just tell everyone, we're not finding out the sex but if it's a girl... and if it's a boy...
The hardest part will be DH! He's an expert at finding extra parts on the sonogram! lol Is it ok to ask the technician to avoid that part of the baby while doing the ultrasound?
Whether you find out or not, you'll never be so happy as you will be when they put that baby in your hands :)
Good Luck!!
~ Liz,
step"mom" to Christopher 8/14/99
mom to Nicholas 10/21/03
To me there are just too many suprises in life, so when given the opportunity, Dh and I wanted to know the sex.
Melissa
My opinion on the whole decoration/gifts is that your baby will just be ok with any color and they need specific things and non of them have to be color coordinated. I personally refuse to own anything pink or blue when we have our child. I just don't like the idea of how commercial baby products have gotten and making sure your little girl isn't in blue or vice versa is VERY low on my priority list. Do what feels natural...you are the one who has to live with it.
I also have an opinion on knowing the sex of the baby prior from a very great class I took in college called "Gendered Communication". It speaks about how we as a society "gender stereotype" our children by buying trucks for boys to play with and dolls for the girls without them choosing these things... they are taught their expected roles in society. Could be considered controversial but there is this very compelling fact...
When equal sized babies (weight and length/measurements) are described by parents the girl is described as: delicate, fragile, sweet, tiny, percious etc. and when parents describe the exact same sized boy: strong, healthy, big, hearty.... etc. So our impressions are sorta off a bit. It also can translate to your baby in-utero and my opinion is that I would want my baby to form their personality on their own without me molding too much of it. Besides I also like the thought of how difficult it is for people to talk to your baby if they don't know the sex...My professor said don't tell anyone the sex of your baby...see how difficult it is for them to just talk to/hold "the baby" and how desperate they are to use gender specific descriptors to talk to your baby. The best part is that everyone will be lining up to change the baby diapers...so that is a bonus!
But it is a very personal choice, right in line with how you plan to raise them. If you are bent to having the name and the nursery and gifts all be gender specific then by all means do it. I think that what ever you choose will be right for you.
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