Looking for help on names.......

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Looking for help on names.......
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Fri, 09-24-2004 - 1:52pm
We had a son die last year. His name was Ian. I am pregnant again and would really like to incorporate his name into this new child's name. If it's a boy, I may choose Ian as a middle name. But that won't work with a girl. So I am trying to find names that have "ian" in them. Such as Jillian or Lillian. My last name starts with L so I think Lillian will be too L-ly. And I'm really not wanting a J name, therefore I'm looking for other ideas. Different is ok. But not so different that it's weird. ;)

I have tried searching baby name sites, but the closest I could find is where you could look for a name ending in or beginning with. So if the "ian" was in the middle of the name, I couldn't do a search.

Thanks for your help.

Connie

Connie, mom to Julia (10), Jacob (8), and ^Ian^ (9/12/03)

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Registered: 09-25-2004
Sat, 09-25-2004 - 12:28am
I want to encourage you in honoring Ian in your child's name. Don't be hurt by responses on this board. Many (but not all) people who post here should not be dishing out advice-- they think that it traumatizes a child if his or her mother has kept her maiden name, but think nothing of pulling random, misspelled names out of the air and branding their children with them for life. If you are going to make controversial choices with your child's name, it's much better to do so by giving them something with deep family meaning than by making them look like they have illiterate parents whose primary concern was being trendy.

Someone posted here that a friend learned she had the same name as a sibling who had died at age three. Well, yeah, it is messed up to give your second child the exact same name and never even tell them that they had an older sister. But that is a far, far cry from the very nice and tactful plan you have to subtly honor your son, and in my opinion, it's way more tasteful than naming your kid Ma'KaYla'h or some crap like that!

Avatar for long35acre
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 09-25-2004 - 7:37am
THanks for you kinds words. It is true that someone who has not experienced it cannot truly grasp the pain. My grandmother had a stillborn child whom she named the same thing as her second born child. Yes, imho that is creepy and weird. My uncle did not find this out until he was 60 years old though. But still. Yes, my plan is to try to incorporate the name, not give the same exact name. I think that we are an open and loving enough family that this child will know s/he was wanted and that it was an honor to have something of their sibling. My living children speak of him all the time, so it will definitely be known there was before.

Like I said earlier, I'm sorry I blew. But when I came back and there was just one message in reply and it was so negative, my heart started racing and my bp started to rise and I just flipped. I will remember to take deep breaths and count to 10 from now on.

Connie

Connie, mom to Julia (10), Jacob (8), and ^Ian^ (9/12/03)
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Registered: 09-24-2003
Sat, 09-25-2004 - 9:57am
I was a little startled when I read your post........my cousin's son also died last year and was also named Ian..........he was five years old, though. There's Brianna, Marian/Marianne/Mariana, and Gianna. Boys are harder..........another cousin's child is named Ethan, and while the sound isn't together and there's E instead of I, it still has it in there. Julian. I didn't read the others, so sorry for any repeats.

Well, the happy face seems rather inappropriate there, but apparently you can't edit that feature. Sorry about that, but I guess it is appropriate for the new baby, anyway.........


Edited 9/25/2004 4:49 pm ET ET by paigevz

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Registered: 10-08-2003
Sat, 09-25-2004 - 9:24pm
I am very sorry for your loss.
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