My FIL is giving us problems...
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My FIL is giving us problems...
| Tue, 11-23-2004 - 7:37am |
Since both of our family's have certain traditions when it comes to naming the first born, we decided to forgo both. On my side, all the first born children have the initals MRM, and on his JFJ. We tried for some time to think of a compromise, but we could not agree on anything, and decided...hey this is our child...we should name it what we want!! We finally decided on Quintin Douglas. We were so excited!! So at his next family get together, when asked about a name we happily told them. Well, needless to say this caused a HUGE problem with my FIL. He basically threw a tantrum! He started going on about breaking family traditions, how disrespectful we were being, and how upset he was. We tried to explain WHY we chose the name we did...but to this day...nearly 4 months later...he still gets a bad attitude and asks "Are you really going to name him THAT??" This is not his first grandchild, or grandson for that matter, and he did not do this when his other children decided to choose names that were not traditional. We have tried to reason with him, but I am very upset that he will not let it go....I feel like I dont even want to be around him and his critism anymore...any advice???????

I don't have any advise, but an opinion. I think you did the RIGHT thing by forgoing both traditions. My dh and i did the same thing. We didn't name out dd after anyone and won't with future children to keep the peace in our families and not offend anyone. Stay strong! Hopefully your fil will realize the baby he is being and also that this baby is more important than a tradition. He'll love the baby regardless too.
Take care and don't stress!
Leah
edd #2 7/22/05
Alyssa 12/23/03
Wow, what a jerk. I think the name is adorable first of all. But that is not the main issue here. It is very important that your DH handle this. It is his father, and his father is making your life (his pregnant wife) difficult. You don't need this extra stress, and your Dh should be protecting you from it. I think that it would be completely appropriate for you to refuse to be around him if he starts in like that. I would have DH tell him that it is not acceptable for him to talk about it anymore. He has certainly already made his feelings known. He had his turn. This is your turn. This was a decision you two made together and it makes sense due to both families having that tradition! (I think that even if your family did not have a tradition you two have the right to let go of a tradition if you choose.) Dh should tell his father that if he starts to talk about it again you both will leave. I think that if it came to that the rest of the family would come to your defense.
Take deep breaths, remember that this is all temporary. It will be a non issue someday. Your child will be precious. Try and enjoy the pregnancy. Love, Jules