my last name/his last name
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my last name/his last name
| Tue, 07-31-2007 - 8:58am |
ok, my issue is this...when my husband and i married i made the choice to keep my last name, as i felt it was my name for a reason and i was proud of it. We are now expecting our first baby and i know that there will be an issue with our new son or daughters last name. Not that i think it should have mine and mine only but if we're going to be using both, how do we decide if it will be mine(eckersley)-his (tibbo)or the other way around Tibbo-Eckersley or Eckersley-Tibbo any input????

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I have several friends in the same situation.
HTH Andi
Andi
I'm in the same situation. We've decided to put my last name as a mn. Mostly because my Indian last name is really long. As a teacher in elementary school, I have found that hyphenated last names often get mixed up. Teachers rarely use the whole hyphenated name. The children often end up choosing one name over the other, or teachers only use one of the last names, usually the second name. As much as I want my child to have my last name as their last name, part of my reason for keeping my name was my connection to my father and my heritage. So, if I have my father's last name, my child should have his/her father's last name. Corny, I know! I think I'll be OK with the mn thing in the end. I guess as a teacher, I can see how hyphenated names get ruined once they start school and I don't want my child to go through that.
I know that isn't really the answer you want to hear, but it is certainly something to consider.
Just a thought on thinking girls are getting "jipped" -- I disagree, but aside from that, your reasoning doesn't play out =. You said, "I know that being a woman we are most often expected to change our last names and therefore it would not be us but the men in the family who carried on the name. I suppose I thought I could change that," but then you also said, "I think it would be safe to say that most children will feel that connection to their father and want to do what I did, that being keeping my father's last name."
This doesn't make sense to me. What am I missing? Why didn't you want to use your *mother's* name? Why is she being "jipped"? (I'm not arguing with you!!! Just pointing out that you want your child to carry on its mother's name -- yours -- while at the same time saying you kept your name because it was your *father's* name). So just giving the child its father's name sounds like what you want to do; well, at least it's what you did.
Darla
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I also kept my last name when I got married. But I have decided to give our son his father's last name for two reasons:
1. I figure I get to bond and carry this child for 9 months. I am able to feel him kick every day and am closer to him than my husband ever will be. So, he gets to give our son a name. I get to give our son a life.
2. My thought is, if my son wants to hyphenate his name, it's his choice. When he gets married maybe he'll want to hyphenate his wife's name. If he already had my last name-hyphen-my husband's last name, it would look ridiculous with another hyphenated name.
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