my last name/his last name

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
my last name/his last name
13
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 8:58am
ok, my issue is this...when my husband and i married i made the choice to keep my last name, as i felt it was my name for a reason and i was proud of it. We are now expecting our first baby and i know that there will be an issue with our new son or daughters last name. Not that i think it should have mine and mine only but if we're going to be using both, how do we decide if it will be mine(eckersley)-his (tibbo)or the other way around Tibbo-Eckersley or Eckersley-Tibbo any input????

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Thu, 08-02-2007 - 7:54am

ok so here it goes....i suppose i did not word my phrases correctly, sorry for the confusion. i guess what i meant by "jipped" was that most often it is just expected that we have to change our last name to our husbands when we marry.

Giving me my father's name is something my mother chose to do. i suppose everyone has their own opinions whether or not women are getting "jipped", i just feel because it is the norm maybe some women don't think well wait a minute...my name is important to me.

("I'm not arguing with you!!! Just pointing out that you want your child to carry on its mother's name -- yours -- while at the same time saying you kept your name because it was your *father's* name" as you said.)

now what i mean is whether it be your mothers or your father's name - which ever you happened to be given at birth or i mean whatever situations arose that made you feel connected to one or the other.

Anyways i felt that close bond with my father which is why i said i suppose my children might feel that to theirs'(they may feel that bond more closly if their given their father's name) either way, i'm undecided i just replied to a woman's response who seemed to feel somewhat how i did. i did not post a question to get a debate i posted a question to get some advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Thu, 08-02-2007 - 7:57am
you make some good points, thank you it's definitely something to consider
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2007
Thu, 08-02-2007 - 5:01pm

You're right about getting jipped! Even in the cultures where women keep their name, most of the time, children get their father's name. I know it is hard. We did not take the easy route on this.

Good luck!



Pages