The Name Argument!
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| Tue, 05-08-2007 - 8:39pm |
I've just hopped over from the August EC. DH and I are expecting baby numero uno during this summer. We will find out later this week what the sex of baby is (about time since I'll be 26 weeks on Friday!) but before then we've been discussing name ideas. Our huge point of contention was that he wants to name a boy after his brother and grandfather who is deceased, John. I abhor the name John because it is *so* boring to me and over-used. We finally decided that it could stay as the middle name, but now everyone in his family is insisting that no matter what baby's first name is, they will call the baby John! UGH! I can't take away the name John from my husband because it means a lot to him, but I only want it formally in the name and not for usage per say. Anyway, I am at a loss for a first name. I'm looking for a romance novel sounding name to be completely honest...nothing ending in -ayden sounds since that is also something I am tired of hearing.
For a girl I am coming across some great ideas! Our original idea was Cordelia Zoe, but the name soured on me when we began to argue so vociferously over the "John" issue. With that in mind I saw that someone listed off names ending in -ella and I immediately was struck by Sophiabella. I want to do a double name for a girl because it is kind of a tradition in my family now. I am Julianne, my cousin is Lou Ellen and her daughter is Eleanor Gayle. I've also thought of combining my mother's middle name and my MIL's middle name for Kayellen or Kaye Ellen (not sure how I like it spelled best). I really love Sophiabella though, but hubby is not *as* keen on it since apparently there is a porn star out there named Bella Donna or something? Working with him is like trying to move a stick out of dried up southern clay! lol I don't know, what do you all think? I just realized while typing this that there are apparently a lot of 'Elen's in my family so I don't know if Kaye Ellen is such a great idea, but they don't live around here. I guess I would have to stick with my hubby's original choice of Zoe as a middle name for a girl too, even though I think it's a little too short and spunky for my tastes.
Ideas???


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Congrats on your first baby!!
Could you talk to DH about possibly using the name John as a middle name? Or using a name like John (such as Jack -- as John and Jack are considered the "same name")? Perhaps some of the other posters could offer some more insight into what names are similar to John or other ideas, as I'm not too great with that and some of the posters here are phenomenal when it comes to offering suggestions.
I like Cordelia -- wow, that is not a name I have heard on these boards and I like that it's different!! Really beautiful.
Welcome to the naming board and congrats on the baby :)
I understand your frustration completely! We are not TTC yet, but I make DH discuss names regularly and he is SO hard to work with! DH wants to name a boy after his dad, Joe David (we would use Joseph instead of just Joe) but that is incredibly boring to me. Plus, he has 3 Joe's in his immediate family (dad, stepdad, BIL)! Anyway, I understand your issues with John. I think the mn spot is perfect for the name John, and you and DH can choose the fn that you agree on. As for his family- oh my gosh, how rude! This child is yours and DH's, and only you 2 are naming him/ her. Therefore, they will call the child what you NAME it!!! How ridiculous to say that they'll call him John no matter what. I would seriously talk to DH about that and have him talk to his famlily members, because that's not okay. Maybe it'll be easier if you find out you're having a girl :)
I LOVE Cordelia, too bad you're falling out of love with it. Zoe is not my fave either, but it's not terrible if it would make your DH happy. I like the thought of a double name, but I do not like Sophiabella. It looks like someone just smushed two names together. Sophia Belle would be good to me, but I don't like the double -a ending of Sophia and Bella together, personally. If you want to use Kay or Ellen, I'd save it for mn. If you wanted, you could do 2 middle names or save one for a future daughter.
Here are some names that you might like:
Adrian
Deacon
Holden
Malcolm
Miles
Thaddeus, nn Thad
Leopold or Leander, nn Leo
Lachlan, nn Locke
Roman
Nolan
Mitchell
Pierce
Vincent
Duncan
Lennox
Sebastian
Nathaniel
Helena **
Georgia or Georgiana
Susannah
Cora
Adele/ Adela/ Adelaide/ Ada
Amelia or Emilia
Matilda
Eloise
Bianca
Beatrice or Beatrix
Phoebe
Sylvia
Viola
Vivian
Rosaline or Rosalind
Jocelyn
Anastasia
WDYT? Any that you like? Let me know what you like, dislike and we can offer more suggestions if you want! Good luck to you!
Liz
Thanks belle_petite for the siggy!
Honestly? I think I'm on your husband's side...I like John. It's old, but the kick these days is that people are working so hard to avoid the familiar that familiar is now uncommon--and boys don't really dig being tied to romance novel names in the way girls do. As for girls' names names, I like Cordelia Zoe, but Sophiabella feels like a smush of trendy names and doesn't gel with Kayellen stylewise--Sophiabella is kind of faux Italian and Kayellen is very all-American, so they just feel funny together and don't have the fit together that Cordelia and Zoe do.
Now, if you name your son (something) John, you have the right to determine what he's called--maybe they can call him by his full name, first and middle, but they don't get to act as if his name IS John, because it's not. But I'd leave that on your husband's shoulders to deal with, because they're his family. At the moment, let's do the fun bit and come up with something exotic but live-withable for a little boy. (And definitely avoiding the -ayden pack.)
Dashiell John (which gets you the great romance-novel nn of Dash)
Silas John
Tavish John
Quentin John
Hugo John
Lucan John
Gareth John
Concerning the John issue, I'd have a serious talk with your dh about the mn vs. given name thing, because it is NOT ok for his entire family to insist on calling him John if his given name is X (whatever it may be LOL). If he won't lay down the law with his own family, John may have to go (and I'm not saying that to be spiteful ... the honor is great, no matter the placement, and they shouldn't refuse to use your child's fn no matter what. It's just rude). ;)
Perhaps you could compromise on another form of John you DO like. The honor is still there, but you wouldn't have to worry about your in-laws constantly calling him a name you so clearly dislike. I know Jack has been mentioned (generally a nn for John, so you could still use the exact name without having to use it, if it's important to your dh). Other forms of John include Evan (my first thought for you), Ian, Sean, Eoin (O-in), Giovanni and Jonas, among many others. Here's a list. You're bound to find something that appeals (at least more than John itself, from the tone of your post LOL): http://www.behindthename.com/php/translate.php?terms=john&menuterm=&menuterm2=&gender=both
As far as the girl names you mentioned, I don't find any of the made-up versions nearly as spunky, appealing or interesting as Cordelia! That would easily GMV, and it could be taken to have the double name link, if you consider the fact that both Cora and Delia are obvious nns for it. I honestly don't like any of the smushed-together versions remotely as much.
If you're completely against it at this point, however, perhaps a more traditional combination name that honors the Anne from yours? ;) Annabel, Annabeth, Annelise, Annelien, etc. Just a thought!
HTH
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Well, since it sounds as though your in-laws are fairly traditional, they may not be happy with a substitute for John, but there are many, many variations in different cultures, which would avoid the issue of his being called John, if they would agree to one you liked better. A few of the variations are: Jake/Jack/Jackson/Jonathan/Ivan/Evan/Eoin/Sean/Shane/Hank/Ian/Jonas/Juan. (You can check some more out at www.behindthename.com--just click "related names" on the page for John.)
I do agree with pp who said that John, while very, very traditional, is fairly unused these days, so it might actually be sort of retro to use it. But, you have every right to call your son something YOU like. They can call him John if they really want to, but they'll just look weird if that's not what you are calling your son.
If you still need some "romance novel" boy names, I must admit I've read my share, and I'm sure I could come up with some suggestions, but it's actually a fairly broad category. (Always all manly, all the time, of course!) Western? (Cade, Tanner, Wyatt) Scottish? (Duncan, Graham, Connor) Contemporary suspense? Let us know, if you want more names along those lines.
I liked the suggestion of using a different form of John - Sean and Ian are my favs. Also, this name isn't really my style, but ARABELLA sounds like a name you would like. ANNABELLE is another pretty name.
Good luck,
Brooke
I think the suggestions for variations on John are great. I, too, think John is a pretty boring name, though Jonathan is nice. Also, Sophiabella sounds a little too forced when you glom the two names together like that.
Romance novels are a nice source of elegant names; your original choice of Cordelia is really nice. I'm an avid reader, and have read quite a few romance novels, lol.
Boys:
- Rafe (Rafael)
- Rand (Randall)
- Burke
- Leopold
- Christian
- Tristan
- Sebastian
- Alexei
- Nikolai/Nicolas
Girls:
- Delia (This could be a name on its own, or a nn for Cordelia)
- Jocelyn
- Georgiana
- Christiana
- Sophia
- Arabella
- Eleanor/Eleanora (This could be a good one, with your family name of Ellen)
- Priscilla
I'm from the August EC, too, and I have to first say that we're considering John (possible nn Jack) for this baby to honor my grandfather. I love John and never hear it anymore! I will say that when my DH first suggested John almost 5 years ago, I thought it was boring, but I seriously haven't heard it on any little ones in that whole time, and it has really grown on me. I do know that Jack is very common, but we still like it and may use it as a nn depending on what seems to best fit his personality.
Now, that being said, I think putting John in the mn slot is a great compromise for you and your DH. It honors his family, it's a solid name that flows well with a lot of first names, and b/c it's in the mn slot, it shouldn't be used every day. Another great thing about John is that b/c it starts with J, it leaves the door open for initial nicknames if you, your DH, or your son ever want to use it -- DJ, TJ, CJ, etc. Also, if you end up giving him a more unusual fn, it gives him a well-known mn to "ground" the whole name. I always like giving a child as many name options as possible.
Now, your DH does need to address the issue with his family that baby will be called by his fn, or maybe his fn/mn combo.
Not sure about "romance novel" names, but here are some ideas...
Talon
Griffin
Zane
Thayer
Draven
Zander/Alexander
Titus
As for girl names, I think you have some more wiggle room with the mn (unless Zoe is honoring some other family member that you haven't mentioned). What I always ended up doing with my DH was making a huge list of names that I even sorta liked. Most of them I never intended to use, but I wanted to get a feel for what he liked. I'd also keep him informed of my current top 3 or top 5 and try to find reasons why he should like those names. ;-) With DD#2, we really battled it out before being able to agree on only *one* name -- Julianna, nn Annie. Another idea for your name search might be to go back through the family trees on both sides of the family and see if something strikes you -- an ancestor's fn, ln, or a variation of it might be just what you're looking for. We ended up using family names for both girls -- DH's side for DD#1 and my side for DD#2.
I don't have any more girl suggestions for you, but I know how hard this is, and I wish you the best of luck! I'm struggling to even get my DH to talk names this time around, so I just hope baby boy is named by the time we leave the hospital. :-P
Stephanie, mom to Megan Joy (nn Meg), Julianna May (nn Annie), and baby boy edd 8/30/07
Have you thought about suggesting some other forms of John, like Evan, Ewan, or Jack, if those are names you like moreso than John, and seeing if hubby will accept those? I don't personally like John either just because it seems so bland, but, if it were a special family name, might consider using one of the variations. Or possibly even Jonathan? Jonathan seems far less bland to me than plain john.
I like double names, but only in the sense of using both the first and middle names together (Mary Jane, Molly Grace, etc). I don't really like the idea of cramming two names into one long first name. With that said, I do like Sophia and Bella as names in their own right, but don't really care for the Sophiabella combination in one name. I really do love Cordelia, but if it has truly soured for you, then I would probably avoid using it. You said your mom and MIL names were Kay and Ellen. I think you could come up with several nice names with these as bases. How about:
Kali/Kayiie Ellen
Kayla Ellen
Kaylin Ella
Ella Kay (could definitely see this as a double name, calling her Ella Kay)
Ellery Kay
As for Zoe, I would try to pair it with either a longer fn or mn, or with more syllables. Some suggestions:
Zoe Meredith/Meredith Zoe
Zoe Annabelle/Annabelle Zoe
Zoe Olivia/Olivia Zoe
Zoe Penelope (possibly too much "e" sounding)/Penelope Zoe
Good Luck!
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