name dilema
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name dilema
| Fri, 04-13-2007 - 12:29pm |
Hi, my name is Lisa and I am new to the boards. My husband and I just found out yesterday that we were having a boy, our third child. We have a boy and a girl already. When I was pregnant with my first son, my husband really wanted him to have my husband's first name, and a different middle name (ex. my husband wanted him to be named Terry after him, as he is named after his dad, and they both have different middle names). I really didn't like that idea, I really like everyone having their own name. I loved the name Ryan and my hubby liked it too, and we named my first son Ryan. Now that I am pregnant with another boy, my husband would really like to name this boy Terry. I still don't like it, but it is really important to him. I am worried now that when my first son gets older, if we name our second son after his father, that he will be hurt by this. I hope this isn't too confusing! I welcome all opinions, as I am really stuck on what the right thing to do here is! Thanks!

AJ, enjoying life with C.
While it's kind of backwards I doubt it will scar your kids for life unless someone else makes a big deal out of it, which I would hope no one would.
joanne
maman2goons@aol.com
My dh's name has been passed down for generations and I kind of like the tradition.
Does Ryan have a family name as a middle name? If so, I don't think using Terry for the 2nd son would be a problem at all. But if you didn't use any family names for the other kids, I would not be in favor of doing it for the 3rd. I always felt jealous that my little sister's mn was after a family member and neither of my names were. It wasn't a huge deal, but I wished that I had a family name. Just my opinion, though!
What would your DH like to call this son if you do name him Terry? Would you choose a middle name that you both love and then call him by his mn? That would be the best option to me. I am not a fan of dad and son going by the same name (even if their given names are the same). For example, I know two father and sons who are William David. Both dads go by Bill or William and both sons go by David. This seems like the easiest way to do it if you and DH decide to use Terry for the new baby. If your DH would go for it, you could also just use Terry as the mn. That way it's still in the name. Keep us updated as to what you and DH are thinking!
Congrats on the new little boy, and good luck with the rest of the pregnancy!
Liz
Thanks belle_petite for the siggy!
I haven't gotten to read all the replies yet, but I agree with you: I don't care for giving children the same exact name as someone else in the household (meaning the fn they'd actually go by ... I realize you said he'd have a different mn) and I think it'd be odd to name the second son after your dh having already bypassed the first.
I'd reserve Terry for the mn, use your dh's -- or better yet, HIS father's -- mn as the fn or at the very least call little "Terry" by his mn on a regular basis (giving your dh the recognition he seems to want so much but allowing your son to use his "own" name for all intents and purposes).
It might also help to find out WHY this is so important to your dh. To be honest, I think the common practice of fathers giving their sons the same name is a bit too self-absorbed, but I quite LIKE the idea of naming a child to honor someone dear to you (in this case, the grandfather), so perhaps that's all it is? In that case, I'd use Grampa's mn, as mentioned above, or even look for another way to honor someone special to dh (for instance, if his mother's maiden name was Georgia Jameson, you might name this son George, Jameson, James or even a variant like Seamus). ;)
HTH
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just not fair to the other boy also.
my 2 cents.
JEN