Name Insult? What would you say/do?
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| Wed, 08-17-2005 - 10:32am |
Hi girls,
I have a question for you. I'm not sure how to take this comment, but I've heard it a few times and it's starting to bother me.
We had our third boy one month ago (yesterday) and his name is Roman. Well, whenever we tell people his name. Most people say that's a great name or what a strong name. But, what bothers me is when people ask "What are you going to call him?" Well, we named him Roman, so we figured we'd call him Roman...DUH!!!!!
Just this past weekend we were with friends and they said to us "What are you going to call him?" And, maybe I'm being paranoid, but I'm starting to interpret this as "Roman is a 'different' name. I wouldn't call my kid that, so is their a more 'everyday name' that you are going to call him?" I mean it's not like it's a really long name that may warrant a shorter nickname. It's a short easy to pronounce name, so what's the problem?
Please tell me if I'm being paranoid and interpreting this wrong and if not, what should I say without sounding too rude?
Thanks,
Kelli

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what bothers me is when people ask "What are you going to call him?" Well, we named him Roman, so we figured we'd call him Roman...DUH!!!!!
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If it is a ? asked out of just making polite conversation, they may just see this as a way of showing interest.
Roman is not a completely uncommon name, so may be your responses come from people who are not very open minded. Another thought could be that there is a need to give and 'ie name to babies, like khrissy or tabby, joey etc... They may not be seeing the big picture here, a young man, a boy who will have a pride inducing name, don't worry too much! I think you named him with a strong name, a name that will benefit him into becoming a strong man :)
I am almost positive I am having a boy (10 weeks pregnant) I have been concentrating on names that are strong and unique, so he will stand out and he will have the chance to have a name that is strong. Like Cassius, Aurek, Basil.... what do you think?
How about saying "Why do you ask?" That puts the ball back in their court. If they're thinking it's a weird name or something, they might just be stupid enough to say so.
This is frequently recommended as a way to deal with intrusive or offensive questions posed to adoptive families.
If the questioner's tone of voice is clearly rude, you can respond with "why do you ask?" in sort of a rude tone of voice to let them know it was rude. Or you can simply ask it in a neutral tone of voice and see what kind of response you get.
Julie
I like the pp's suggestion about asking them why they're asking, especially if it's a stranger. You could combine it like "we're calling him Roman, why do you ask?"
If it's someone you know fairly well and you don't think they're being rude, just interested, I'd simply say, "we're calling him Roman". They may just be asking about nicknames and making sure they'll call him what you him to be called, since so many people do use nicknames or the MN.
That's interesting. I'd say "Well, Roman's short enough there's no need for a nickname!" It's possible they are just trying to get a feel for what to call him. I've done that with people before and not b/c I liked or didn't like a name, like if there son's name was James, I'd ask "Are you going to call him Jimmy?" Just so I know b/c some people like the formal name and yet there are others who pick a name JUST b/c it shortens to a certain nickname. But, with Roman, I'm not sure why people would ask, though b/c there is no obvious nn like Jake for Jacob. Although, maybe people would think of "Ro"...dunno.
Hope
Giving them the benefit of the doubt, I think a lot of people are used to babies having cute nicknames. My older DD is Megan, and we've had a couple friends call her Meggie several times (which I hate). We do call her Meg a lot, though. As a Stephanie, I had several older ladies call me Steffi when I was younger (which I hated, although I didn't mind Steph). I know that I've asked the moms of Katherines/Andrews/etc. what they call their kids b/c sometimes new moms give the full name b/c they like saying it, but they really call the baby Katie/Andy/etc. Does that make sense?
If I were you, I'd probably respond, "We're going to call him Roman. Why do you ask?" And Roman *is* a different name in the sense that it's not John or Michael or William, but that's not a bad thing. Sometimes it just takes people a while to adjust to a "new" name before they can really appreciate it.
Stephanie
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