Naming Issue
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 03-04-2006 - 11:15am |
I was wondering if I could get some fresh perspective on my naming problem. On my side of the family multiple names are a tradition. My full name is Mary Frances Caroline Meredith, all my siblings have the same, as do everyone on my Mom's side. But my dh and his family do just the two names, he is Gerard Edwin. Part of me wants to continue the tradition, and part of me fears my child hating me later for it. What do you think? my dh doesn't mind the tradition. If I have a girl it will be either Elinor Frances Sofia Rose, or just Elinor Frances. If it is a boy it will be either Ian James Gideon Gerard, or just Ian James. My last name is Douglas if that helps you make a decision. Thanks in advance for your help.
Also I hate nn. Its just that I hated having Mary Frances shortened to Frany as a child. Is there any way to keep Elinor from being shortened to Ellie?
Mary
edd 9/16/06

I think you should go with your family's tradition. I'm not sure why your child would resent it...It isn't that unusual to have more than one middle name. I'm assuming the child would only go by his/her first name. If you're torn, maybe you could split the difference and use three names.
My first name is Kristen and I never liked any of the shortened version. All it took to keep people from shortening it was me (or my Mom when I was younger) saying I prefer the long version. It's harder with names like Jennifer or Michael which are so commonly shortened. To me, Elinor isn't the kind of name that automatically gets shortened, so you should easily be able to nip it in the bud - unless your child doesn't like Elinor and prefers to go by Ellie.
do you hate having your name as part of your family's traditon?
think not too much of it?
or do you take pride and love your family's traditon in you name?
make your decision based on how you believe for yourself.
i think is a lovely, unique, though not unusual tradition!!
i have some family names with multiple names, and some with traditonal fn mn ln with & without nn.. i even have a cousin who's mn is the letter J.
many, many, many go by full names, without nick names. that wont be an issue.
..for the rare few who try so more than once are disrespectful!
(for example if someone assumes a Katelyn is Katie..or says Katie out of habit due to other Katelyn/Katies..beyond that is disrespectful)
..actually even those who do have nicknames may use them with only their family/longtime friends (i am one of those) i hate it when others try calling any other than my full name! and i will ask them / (tell them my name if they continue) is Regina do not call me Gina (and especially personally hate Reg/Reggie ugh!!!)..when the few continue they do lose my respect.
i would imagine most try as i do, i pay attention to how the parents call their child, if is their fullname, great, that is as i call them.. if i hear Katie frequently i may call them Katie..but i wont do so without knowing they are Katie. (tho my best friend's daughter is Sharayah, she's called Raya often, i've yet to call her Raya, love saying Sharayah)
hth .. i do love your family traditon!
Have you thought of compromising the traditions of both families and using just two middle names? Still unique (since the usual is one mn), but not quite as much of a mouthful (so I'd assume less likely your child will hate it ... and of course, they can always choose to use just the first mn in the future, if they really wanted). I think someone else mentioned this in their post and it was my first thought as well.
Personally, since you're looking for opinions, I don't actually mind double mns, especially if it's a family tradition. I only know one family that does this IRL, and even then only for the girls (for some reason three boy names in addition to the ln just never seem to flow as well, so they've reserved it for their daughters only). However, I do think three mns is taking it waaaaay too far. I don't want to make light of your family tradition, so this is just my opinion here, but the extra EXTRA mn just makes it seem less like one person's name and more like a bunch of names thrown together, if that makes any sense. For example, Elinor Frances or Elinor Frances Sofia sound like one name (or one particularly long name, in the case of " " Sofia, but still one name), while Elinor Frances Sofia Rose either sounds like a bunch of random names strewn together or even two seperate names (ie. as if you were actually introducing two children -- sisters Elinor Frances and Sofia Rose), KWIM? The flow just isn't there.
As to the nns, I don't think Elinor is a name most people would automatically shorten as they might Jennifer to Jen(ny), for example (actually, I'm quite surprised anyone would try to shorten Mary Frances to Frany from the second name to begin with ... shame on them! LOL). I do hate when people just assume and call your child something else without hearing you do so first or introduce them as such. For example, the first thing people say when we mention this baby will be named Abigail is "oh, a little Abby!" or something to that extent (which sounds weird to us, because it's not a nn we will be using, so it's just kind of annoying when people assume that's what she HAS to be called). If you are concerned about it, have you considered using the more traditional spelling of Eleanor? While Elinor seems to welcome the nn Ellie (since Eli- is actually the exact beginning of the name), Eleanor does not, and the nn Nora would be just as likely (not because you want to use a nn, but because that should at least give people pause and perhaps encourage use of the full name since they would be unsure as to what nn, if any, you use). Since you didn't mention your reasons for using this spelling I just thought I'd mention it (and if it's a family spelling or something you can disregard the suggestion LOL).
HTH! :)
~Kelli
Powered by CGISpy.com
ALthough I am not a fan of having so many names, I have to suggest you stick with it. Especailly if your husband doesn't care, than go with it. As for nicknames, just tell people when they call her Ellie, that her name is not that and give her full name. You can't control it forever, but its still worth a try!
Theresa
Wow, four names is a lot. However, if it's a family tradition, I can understand wanting to continue it with your children. I can't imagine why your child would resent it. I guess my advice is, unless you have a reason for not wanting to continue the tradition (ie if you always hated having four names) then I'd continue it. BTW, I really like all the names you've picked out.
As for Elinor/Ellie - I don't think it will be a problem at all. In the last ten years or so it's become very common for kids to use thier full names. I know more Thomases, Michaels, Madelines, Elizabeths than I do Toms, Mikes, Maddies and Beths, etc. If anyone calls her Ellie, you can just remind them that you prefer Elinor. It might come up occassionally, but overall I don't think it will be a problem at all.
You can't control the nickname thing. My friend had a boy and named him Andrew, certain he would be called Andrew, or Drew if he wanted a nn. He hit age 4 and demaded he be called Andy. He simply wouldn't answer to anything else. He's 7 now and still Andy, much to his mother's dismay.
As for how many names one should have, I am a firm believer in a fn, mn and ln. I think it looks silly when "normal" people have more than this (I mean, I undertand the princes of England having 4 names, but not me!) I would encourge you to break the pattern and simply name her Elinor Frances (a tremendous name, by the way!). Good luck!
Thank you! You unwittingly reminded me of the number one reason why I LOVE my name!! My great great grandfather was a earl. I am very very distantly related to the Queen, and I always loved having my 'royal' name as a reminder of that. If I didn't give my child a traditional family name, I would be cheating them out of that. I don't ever remember having trouble spelling my name so all the haters can get over that argument (I have heard that often). Also I hope my children never consider themselves 'normal', with parents like dh and I that isn't likely anyhow lol.
My families first reaction to the name Elinor was to use Ellie. But no matter how many times I threw a fit over Frany, they never stopped. So if its a girl, watch out it'll be MY turn to be stubborn!
Thanks!
Mary
A good friend of mine is Eleanor Frances, and sometimes goes by Elly. Most of the time I hear her called Eleanor though. And, I know someone with a little Sophia Rose, called Sophie. I don't really have an opinion on if you should do just two names or four. But, I do like all 4 you have chosen.
good luck,
Sunny