Naming Issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2005
Naming Issues
16
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 9:12pm
I have a couple questions: Question 1. Is it too selffish of my to ask of my partner to want a hyphenated last name for our child? He seems to strongly disagree but I think it's best since we're not married and since we both created this child within me. Question 2. Should I be permissive on his request to name the child after him? He's a "jr." and if we have a son, he'd want a "III" in his generation, and he's wanted to pass down his name since he was young. I don't think it's fair, since I've always had one name in my mind if I were to bare a son. And I don't want to conform to rules of society to give up my family name just because I'm a female, but I would like some feedback, if possible. I want to know if I'm being too crude to him or too proud, which is why a third party perspective is almost a must. Please Help! Thanks

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 11:33pm
I am coming at this with No experience in this sort of thing and from a very conservative back ground. I am also not at all feminist. However, it seems to me that I would not name the baby the fathers last name if it was not my last name! This is my baby, we will have the same name. If the father wants the same name he better marry me! Then we can all have the Dads last name. I also feel that the right to name your child the 3rd of something should only qualify if you are married. I may be totally out of line with this but that is how I would feel about it. If you are planning on getting married then I would reconsider my view but would push to get married before babe was born to prove it! Best wishes! Jules
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2004
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 11:47pm

HI~

Opinion on question 1:

Personally, I think that you should decide if you will marry this man or not. If you are, what will your last name be? Will it be hyphenated? You wouldnt want your sons name different from yours in that case I wouldnt think. But I think that is a good idea in your situation. But I can see where your partner feels like he should carry on his name. Tough call. Good luck!

#2:

I am NOT a fan of juniors. Its just not my thing. I feel that people need their own identity. But I also feel that it is important that the father feel involved and be honored since they had alittle something to do with the pregnancy. *wink I say choose I FN that you both like and use your partners name as the MN. Or you could give him a unique FN and then us ALL of your husbands name and have 2 MN? Depends on if it sounds right.

Keep us posted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2003
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 7:39am

Hi, Welcome to the board.


Question #1:


I will partially disagree with the previous posters regarding the last name issue.

Mommy to Lawson Michael Binghua - born 8/8/06
miscarriage in November 2007 at 7 weeks
miscarriage in April 2008 at 8 weeks

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2005
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 8:17am

If you plan on staying involved with the father, and eventually getting married you may want to concider using your ln as the mn and maybe seeing if you can talk the father into a compromised fn. That way baby can have a fn both mom and dad like and a piece of each of you in the mn and ln.

My mother hyphenated her name when she got married but my brother and I had just my dad's ln for our ln. For a while my brother was confused and started using my mother's ln as his (m-y instead of just y), the whole hyphen never bothered me just made it a pain when trying to get the Waldenbooks discount under my mom's account as not all computers recognuze hyphens.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 9:27am
I think you should stand your ground on both issues. A hyphenated last name makes most sense if you aren't married. As for a junior, I think you should use the name you've wanted to all your life, with his name as a middle name. I think that whoever carries the baby for nine months should get the final say in naming.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2005
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 9:51am

I feel the baby should have the fathers last name. Me and my BF are not married and thats what i am doing. And if this is his first son you should go with the Jr. it will be his only chance to have that opportunity, especially if the name is a tradition to be passed down.

Danielle

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 10:11am

i don't think you are being too selfish. my dh and i, before we were married, got preg and then sadly had a m/c. i had told him i wasn't sure i wanted to give the baby his last name since we weren't married. i don't think i would have either....maybe though...but only if you are pretty sure you will be married. secondly, i am not a fan of III's or Jr's. just nms. stand your ground...he shouldn't get everything his way...sorry if that is too blunt, but you did make the baby together, right?

leah

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2005
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 10:59am
If you're not married there shouldn't be a problem with having a hyphenated name. I think that's only fair. As far as naming the son after him, I think you should let him. It's the first-born son, I think it's the father's right to be able to pass on his name. While you may have a name that you've always been partial to, he has always wanted to pass on his own name, as a kind of legacy. That's very important to a father. Congratulations & good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2003
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 11:21am

I have been following this thread and I have a question for everyone.


I'm not knocking anyone's choice of naming a son after a father because I do feel that is a personal choice.

Mommy to Lawson Michael Binghua - born 8/8/06
miscarriage in November 2007 at 7 weeks
miscarriage in April 2008 at 8 weeks

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2005
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 11:27am

I wish that when I had my son 8.5 years ago that I would have hyphenated his last name. He has his fathers ln and I wish I dindt do that. its a tough choice. If you feel like you guys will work I say hyphenate but if you think you might not, give the baby your ln.

Also, I dont like jr or 3 b/c I think a child should have his/her own identity. Honestly, I dont even like a child named for a grandparent or great aunt, but thats just ME. I will tell you that everyone that I know named for their father HATES being a jr, II or III. Its also very confusing. I vote no on that. If he is that insistent give the baby his first name as the babies mn.

My .02

Pages