Need advice-name dilema

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2004
Need advice-name dilema
8
Fri, 03-04-2005 - 11:29pm

I've posted on here a while back about this, but I'm still having trouble. I am expecting #3 and am having so much trouble finding names I love. Well, sort of. Here's the story. I'll give you the short version-When I was pg w/ #2, so was my friend. We shared baby names, and I told ger that if it was a boy it would w/o a doubt be Ethan. I have had that in my head for years. So, I had a girl. She had a boy, whom she named Connor, then the day after he was born, changed it to Ethan. I was so mad. It may sound silly, but I kinda feel like she "stole" the name from me. Anyhow, no matter how hard I try, I cannot come up with any other name I love. I keep coming back to Ethan. That friend and I have since drifted apart, we speak maybe once a month. But is that name off limits to me now? I just keep coming back to it.
What do you all think? I need advice!! Not even sure DH will go for itnow since she has used it, but I want to use it......thoughts?

TIA!
Kate/
#3 EDD 8/22/05

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2004
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 12:02am

Well, they say that imitation is the highest form of flattery, but HOW DARE SHE DO THAT TO YOU???!!! That is the cardinal rule of friendship...well one of them anyway. No good girlfriend steals her friend's baby name! In my opinion, the name was yours to begin with, so absolutely name your son Ethan. It's a great name, too.

I've loved the name Caroline for years and years...since long before it was so popular...and I don't care if every woman in my family and my next door neighbor all have girls named Caroline, I'm still going to use it. Go for it, especially if you think you'll always regret it if you don't.

What are your other children's names, by the way?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2005
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 1:24am
Gosh, I would never have spoken with that friend again! That's like the unspoken law... How rude! My philosophy on names is this - choose what you LOVE! I would absolutely name your son Ethan if it's your favorite... otherwise, you'll regret it. We absolutely love the name Emily for a little girl - and even though it's popular; I would never want to choose a less-favorite name just because she may have another Emily in kindergarten. I say, go with Ethan and drop the friend! LOL~ Good Luck!~~
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2005
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 8:42am
I would go ahead and use the name Ethan. You love it, and it won't cause massive confusion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2004
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 3:59pm
Thanks for the responses. I don't feel quite as silly now...lol. But I know I'll regret it if I don't use it...as long as I've thought of having kids, I planned on using Ethan for a boy. I've been blessed with 2 DD's Ashley and Abigail, so I haven't had the chance to use it yet, but I'm hoping for blue this time around...the tough part will be convincing my DH to agree to use it since my "friend" already has. I'm glad to hear that it would bother some of you too. I'm having a hard time getting past it, which is the main reason we aren't as close as we used to be. She's asked me about names this time around- I told her I wasn't telling her b/c she'd jsut steal it...she laughed like I was kidding.
Anyhow, thanks for your thoughts!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2004
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 4:40pm
If you love the name you should use it, and especially if you guys only talk once a month.
Hope this helps
~ellie
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2004
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 4:45pm
I definitely agree that you should use Ethan. it is a really nice boy's name and since its the name you planned on naming a boy, you should. You've given that name meaning and thought about it, so unless you find another name you really like, no other one would fit. And you have the better naming story, to explain that you loved that name, rather than the girl having to say that she stole it from you :) good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 9:02am
Name him Ethan.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2003
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 4:44pm

No way! You had dibs on the name, it's still yours! LOL! Go ahead and use it. If she's mad, then, well, I guess she'll know how you felt when she stole it from you!

All kidding aside, I do believe if you have loved a name for a long time, you should be able to use it, unless perhaps one of your siblings has already used it on one of their children (and perhaps it's ok even then.) I think in this situation you are fine. Try not to let it bother you that she has used the name on her child. If people ask about it, you can tell them that you've loved the name for a long time and were planning to use it had your daughter been a boy, as your friend is aware.

Good luck!

:) Cara