newbie with a question

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2003
newbie with a question
9
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 6:17am
Hello everyone! I'm new to this board. I'm about 38 wks. pregnant now with a baby girl. And I have a question for y'all. Traditionally in our family we use the mother's maiden name for the baby's middle name. But I was thinking of not continuing that by being able to choose a middle name for our daughter that I like. Unfortunately, my dad doesn't agree and I could tell that he was hurt when I told him that I didn't want to use my maiden name for our daughter's middle name. And when I saw the disappointed look on his face I started to reconsider my decision. It's a tough decision, because I know how important it is to carry on a family name, but at the same time I feel like it's old fashioned and I want our daughter growing up with a simple name that people won't have a hard time pronouncing. That's what I had to deal with when I was growing up. What have some of you done with the names of your kids? Have any of you guys heard of this tradition and are you still sticking to that tradition? What are some of your suggestions?


Jem

EDD 9-6-04

Avatar for lesetlo
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 8:02am

Hmm... I'd probably keep the tradition.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 9:02am
I'd stick with tradition too.. but I'd also give her a second middle name, one that I liked. This way if my daughter wanted to drop the family one she could. But I'd bet she'll be honored to have it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 9:58am
Tradition is nice but she is your daughter, if you have another name you prefer your are the one who is carrying and will care for her so it's your choice. If the traditional name is one you like go for it, if you have another you love more than use it, people will get over it. Everyone has an opinion on names whether negative or positive, but from experience I've seen that once your baby is named these opinions stop and the name is just accepted. ~Kayla
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2004
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 10:42am
I would also go with tradition but add a second MN that you like. (Having the option of using them both or only one)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 12:37pm
I really want to do that myself. I have always loved my maiden name and it would be a cool mn for a boy or girl. We already (almost) have a set of names picked out for a first child (not pg yet) of our first choices. But I plan to give my maiden name as a mn for my second child. I think its a wonderful tradition, but it depends on the maiden name.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 1:02pm
I like the idea of using a maiden name as a middle name, although, personally, I agree with you and wouldn't use my maiden as a middle, simply because it's so complicated to spell & to say. But if it's an important tradition, use two middle names: First Name, Middle Name You Like, Maiden Name, Married Name.

Di

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 6:17pm
How do I add a second middle name? I always thought you can only have one first name, middle name, and last name. Does the second middle name need to be hyphenated with the first middle name? And when she gets married, is she allowed to drop one of the middle names?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 6:35pm
Just write it down.. first name, middle name, second middle name & surname. Just like you want it to appear on their birth certificate. I should know, I have 2 middles as does my daughter. I use both on "official documents" but regularly use one or the other in day to day stuff. I didn't drop any when I got married and I didn't drop any when I got divorced! Yes, she could choose to drop one when she marries.. but then, when you marry you're allowed to choose any name.. you could both pick a new surname, change your first name, drop a middle, flip first & middle.. you name it. But it's simple to write in two middles on the paperwork. Just be warned that when you get the social security card.. it may be two lines. Mine is, my daughter's is because we have a long surname too!

Devin Elisabeth Susanne (and Josephine Rosamel Anne!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2003
Tue, 08-24-2004 - 3:23am
Thanks for your help. I think I will go with two middle names so I can make myself and my dad happy.