Niece has name I want. Is it acceptable

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2005
Niece has name I want. Is it acceptable
14
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 8:07am

Ok, everyone. I am three weeks away from my due date and I still do not have a name for this child! I'm starting to panic!

Here is the sistuation: My step sister who is 6 yrs older than I am named her second girl Katheryn (Who is 16yrs old). I would like to use that name for our DD however when my husband called her to tell (not ask) her that we would be using that name also however we'd spell it Katherine she went into a hissy about how the kids wouldn't have their own identity. Her daughter wouldn't want to becalled big Kate, or Katie #1, & our DD would then be called: Little Kate or Katie #2. We've already decided that we woudn't call ours Katie but rather Kat or Kate. To make matters all the more complicated, I haven't even spoken with her since last November when she got into a fight with my other sister (blood sister - Long Story!), nor has she even called to congratulate us on our pregnancy!

So, what do you all think... Do I use the name anyway and "rock the boat" or do I just pick one of the following (none of wich I have my heart set on in any way... Vivian(nickname Vivi), Gianna(GG), Emily, Sophia(Sofie), Gabriella(Gabby) - We have a very Italian last name! Think Chef Boy R Dee! LOL!

*Oh did I mention that my step-mother (better known as the Queen) has decided to side with her daughter on this one and could definatly make my life hell for a while if I do dedide to name her Katherine. All of my family has said to name her what ever I want as she is our child and should have what evern name we pick for her. I just hate starting world war 3 at the birth of my child and me causing such a ruckus right at her birth! Not great Karma!

Keep in mind too that we also have 4 Roberts, 3 Johns, 2 Steves and we are a large family with 32 nices and nephews. Names are starting to get scarce!

Sorry this is so long but I need advice from someone outside of my crazy family and I have to come up with a name for this child and soon!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2005
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 8:36am

Boy oh Boy do I know what you are talking about in regards to a big family and *good* names being taken! I can tell you this, I have a pair of cousins, who each had a daughter in the same year and BOTH names thier daughter Margaret (Maggie)! So there you are! I don't think there was ever any big arguments about it or anything, as one cousin lives out of state, but still, I thought that was a bit weird....

Anyway, I have to say that I agree with you that it seems a lot of trouble over a possible baby name! I also agree with YOU that you can name your baby Katherine if you want to. If you plan to call her Kate, than that should eliminate some of the trouble. And if you aren't talking to her anyway, don't worry about it.

You brought up another point--why is it okay that there are generations of Johns, ect, but not okay to re-use the girls name?!?! So frustrating.

If you really decide to not use the name, than of your other choices, I love Vivian and Sophia is my second choice. Maybe Vivian Katherine????

I'm trying to make you feel good with your decision either way, I hope you pick whatever makes you happiest. Just remember your childs birth is a joyous occasion and not to let anyone else try to ruin it for you! Easier said than done, I know!

Good luck!
Theresa

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 8:41am

Hi. I feel like this might be something that could make your niece feel "honored." Things like this happen all of the time. Obviously, in your family it does, too, since you have all of those same boy names. They will eventually get over it, and if they don't, they are being petty and childish, because in the grand scheme of things, other things are so much more important!

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 9:29am

I wouldn't do it. My rule for using names belonging to other family members is only if we are not very close. Nieces would be included in my definition of close relatives. Now, dh does have a cousin named Jonathan that we are very close to, but I didn't realize that we had used his name until it was too late. If I had realized in time, I probably would have tried to find a different name. But his cousin (21) is really great about it and treats our Johnathan (4 1/2) like he's one of the coolest kids he's ever met because he has his name. I think it also depends on how family feels a little. My niece, Tayleur (11 1/2), overheard me talking to my mom about names one day, and asked why I couldn't use the name Rebecca. I told her that it was because my dh has a cousin who's name is Rebecca and we are very close to her, and so we don't want to use her name. Tayleur said we could go ahead and use her name and she'd love it (we're more like sisters than aunt and niece and have a very special relationship and she is in love with my kids). I told her that we most likely would never name a child, boy or girl, Taylor, but that we might consider her middle name, Margery, for a middle name for a dd in the future. I also don't think there is anything wrong with naming a child something that is very close to another relative's name, unless that relative is a sibling. I have a nephew (4 1/2) whose name is Easton, and my ds2 is Ethan. I'm considering the name Nicholas if baby #3 is a boy, and my sister is Nicole. I have a niece (8) named Ashton, and I'm considering the names Ashlyn and Aspen for a girl. So, those are my feelings. If you like Katherine, why not consider a variant of that name? Here are some:

Kaitlyn (or various spellings)
Catriona (or Katrina)
Karen
Catalina
Catrin
Ekaterina
Kalena
Katerina (spell this with a C - Caterina, and it's the Italian form and would be lovely with your last name)
Katia
Kateri
Karina

All your other names are fine, and with an Italian last name I'm seeing Gianna, Sophia, and Gabriella really sparkle.

Jayme
mom to Johnathan Corey (1/16/01)
and Ethan James (10/15/03)
ttc #3 c3 cd13
http://www2.fertilityfriend.com/home/9a48a

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 9:45am

Your other choices are so lovely, I'd use one of them. Perhaps use Katheryn as the mn.

Vivian - SOOOOOO Beautiful!!! I absolutely adore this name. Plus it's not nearly as common as Katheryn and all the Kaitlyn, Katie, Kaylee, etc. I would really consider this lovely and timeless name.

Gianna - This might be the best choice considering your last name. Though not my favorite, it may be special for a little girl to have a very cultural name.

Emily - Can't go wrong with this name. I've never met an Emily I didn't like. Emily Katheryn is nice.

Sophia - Another great choice with your last name.

Gabriella - Lovely name.

I Really love Vivian. Although I don't know if Vivian Katheryn works well together. Vivian Katarina sounds nice though. I think Sophia Katheryn sounds nice too.

Your choices are so lovely, I think going with one of your other options is the best way to go. You could always choose different version of Katheryn if you are stuck on the nn Kat or Kate. Katrina, Kathleen, Katelyn, Katarina (I like this one). How about Katarina and call her Kat?

Good luck. I know it's hard! Let us know what you decide. Hugs and prayers out to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 10:23am

I would ask how your father would feel having two grandchildren with the same name. I can imagine it would be confusing for him and your step-mother. If he thinks that it would be confusing, if it would make him uncomfortable, or if your step-mother would make life h*ll for him, I would find another name. You can always use it as a MN if you love it so much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2004
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 10:29am

I say go for it. Name YOUR baby what YOU want to name her. From the sounds of it, I don't think you see them very often, so you won't encounter the 16 year old. And I would think (unless her mother has brainwashed her) the other Kathryn would love to have a mini me....I know I would have.

Bottom line...you will regret naming your child something you are NOT in love with...Ignore the control freaks and manipulators in your family.

Good Luck
Amber :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2005
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 11:09am

I'd say use it anyway, if you're really set on it. If you spell if differently and call her by a different name than your niece, it ought to elimiinate most confusion. While I would generally avoid using the same name for cousins, it seems like it would be close to impossible for you to do that.

I have mentioned this in some other posts, but two of my sisters ended up naming their daughters Anna (11) and Annie (18 months). It's a little confusing, but I don't think that Anna or her mother were really upset about Annie - just bemused and now, I think Anna thinks it's kind of cool - like she has a namesake already!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 12:52pm

I guess every family has one, huh? LOL My half sister is the same way.

I would use Kathryn. You love it, you don't have a close relationship with your step sister, so why not? Besides, you plan on spelling it differently and using a different nn. I'm also assuming the last names aren't the same and there is a big age difference. I'm surprised she isn't flattered. I like the nn Kat for Kathryn or Kit. All of your other choices are wonderful alternatives. Go for it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2005
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 2:26pm
Go with Gianna!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2005
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 4:45pm
Thank you to everyone for replying to my cry for help! I can't tell you how much I appreciate it! I still don't have an answer for what I'll name her but it is always nice to hear someone elses opinion regarding my crazy family situation! Right now it seems like the "Name her Katherine" are the majority. It is hard because I know what a self centered nutcase my Step-Sister is, and what a fit she is going to have regardless of how we spell it...
But at the same time, in my hart, that is the name that I want.
I think the only reason I'm even considering it still at this point is because she has completly snub this child thus far (not even calling to congratulate us when she heard) and the fact that I haven't talked with her once in the last year. Additionally, she doese live in our same general area (60 miles south) but it hast to be at least 4-5 years (maybe longer) since we've even been invited to her house for anything. (I do make the attempt every holiday that we host and invite her and her family. She either shows up 4 hours late or not at all). Anyway, Thanks again for dealing with my family drama and for all of your replys!
Liz


Edited 10/20/2005 4:53 pm ET by westonsma2

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