Niece has name I want. Is it acceptable

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2005
Niece has name I want. Is it acceptable
14
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 8:07am

Ok, everyone. I am three weeks away from my due date and I still do not have a name for this child! I'm starting to panic!

Here is the sistuation: My step sister who is 6 yrs older than I am named her second girl Katheryn (Who is 16yrs old). I would like to use that name for our DD however when my husband called her to tell (not ask) her that we would be using that name also however we'd spell it Katherine she went into a hissy about how the kids wouldn't have their own identity. Her daughter wouldn't want to becalled big Kate, or Katie #1, & our DD would then be called: Little Kate or Katie #2. We've already decided that we woudn't call ours Katie but rather Kat or Kate. To make matters all the more complicated, I haven't even spoken with her since last November when she got into a fight with my other sister (blood sister - Long Story!), nor has she even called to congratulate us on our pregnancy!

So, what do you all think... Do I use the name anyway and "rock the boat" or do I just pick one of the following (none of wich I have my heart set on in any way... Vivian(nickname Vivi), Gianna(GG), Emily, Sophia(Sofie), Gabriella(Gabby) - We have a very Italian last name! Think Chef Boy R Dee! LOL!

*Oh did I mention that my step-mother (better known as the Queen) has decided to side with her daughter on this one and could definatly make my life hell for a while if I do dedide to name her Katherine. All of my family has said to name her what ever I want as she is our child and should have what evern name we pick for her. I just hate starting world war 3 at the birth of my child and me causing such a ruckus right at her birth! Not great Karma!

Keep in mind too that we also have 4 Roberts, 3 Johns, 2 Steves and we are a large family with 32 nices and nephews. Names are starting to get scarce!

Sorry this is so long but I need advice from someone outside of my crazy family and I have to come up with a name for this child and soon!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2005
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 10:05pm

I say there's enough names out there besides Katherine....just pick another one. There's no use to causing a riff in the family over something so trivial that can easily be changed. There's enough fighting in the world with out having a family fued over a babies name.

Just my 2 cents,

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2005
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 1:56pm
Name her whatever you want! It sounds like big kate and little kate won't be spending tons of time together anyway! Eventually, the extended family will fade into the background and you'll only see them on holidays (or not if you don't want to). It shouldn't be a big deal. Do what's best for YOU!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 3:48pm
This happened to me 2 times! My older brother in law stole our baby names without knowing. In the case of my daughter we used the name as a middle name and my niece feels real important about that. remember what ever you end up naming her even if it isn't katherine it will be perfect and years from now you will think "I cant image a more perfect name for her" The pressure right now is real but in the big picture she will give her name her own personality and I'm sure it will be beautiful.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2005
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 4:28pm

I personally see nothing wrong with naming your child Katherine even if it is similar to your niece's name. In our family there are lots of Marys, Edwards, Williams and Josephs, and no one seems to mind since they are all family names. I have an uncle Joe, a brother Joe, a nephew Joe, and a brother-in-law Joe. Not a big deal. My grandmother was Mary, I have aunt Mary, my name is a variation on Mary, and I have a niece Mary. Again, not a big deal. Especially if you choose a different nickname (Kate or Kat instead of Katie) it not going to be an issue at family parties. In fact, the kids might like having the same name. One of my best friends has a DD with the same name as my DD, and it is their special bond.

However, be aware that if you chose this name for your DD it will be an issue for some time to come within your family. How often will you see your stepsister and niece? Can you handle this becoming a big issue, perhaps pitting one part of the family against the other? Family relationships can be very complicated.

If you could go back in time I would suggest not pre-clearing names with people. If you hadn't asked your stepsister in advance and just named your DD Katherine when she was born, you could have acted shocked that she was offended, and said "ah, well, too late, she's already been named." However, now that you asked her first, it will look like you are defying her, or purposefully going against her wishes.

Good luck. Let us know what you decide.

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