Okay for a friend to use the same name?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Okay for a friend to use the same name?
5
Fri, 09-22-2006 - 11:50am

I mentioned this on a pp, but dh LOVES the name Ethan. I'm okay with using it although it seems a little popular to me. Our backup at this point is Christian, which I LOVE but he's not completely sold on. Ethan is really the only name we've been able to agree on completely.

My problem is that my friend is pregnant now and she said they are thinking about using the name Ethan. I mentioned that this was one that we were thinking about too. Of course, she has complete dibs to it first since she's pregnant first. Would there be anything wrong with us using Ethan too? She's a good friend and lives in the same city we do. I don't think we would be seeing them all that often - we don't go the same church and wouldn't be in the same schools - but I'm still wondering if it's too weird to use the name now. BTW, we've discussed using Ethan for the last couple of years, so it's not just a new name we came up with. It's the only one that we've really both been able to agree on, so I'm leary of giving it up completely.

There's also the chance she may not have a boy or she may decide not to use the name at all. I'm just wondering what we should do in the case that she does use it?

Your thoughts???

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2005
Fri, 09-22-2006 - 12:00pm

My thoughts? Stop worrying about this until it's actually an issue. First of all, she might have a girl. Or she might have a boy and name him something totally different. Or she might have a boy and use the name, but by the time you are pregnant again, you don't even like the name Ethan anymore. Or by the time you're pregnant again you might be totally in love with another name. Or you might have another girl.

I'm all for planning ahead, but seriously this is not something to worry about right now. There are just way too many factors to take into consideration.

IF she has a boy and IF she names him Ethan. And IF you remain good friends and see each other frequently. And IF you get pregnant and have a boy. And IF you still like the name Ethan...then my advice would be to keep looking and see if you can find another name you love as much. In general, I am adamantly opposed to using names used by good friends, especially local friends. But honestly, I would just not even worry about it this points. Those are a whole lot of IFs.

And any one of those IFs could change the scenario completely.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Fri, 09-22-2006 - 12:23pm

I agree with Annie. A lot of names that were on my "maybe next time" list when I was pg with Weston, are not even a consideration now that I am actually TTC again. So I would say don't stress about this now, enjoy the nameing process with #1 and when it gets closer to that time, enjoy the process with #2. Good luck!

Michelle

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 09-22-2006 - 1:04pm

I have two friends with DDs the same name as my DD. They don't go to the same school, and we don't live in the same neighborhood, but they see each other a few times a year. The girls think its a blast to have the same name. We all choose the name for different reasons (my grandmother's name, one friend's husband's grandmother's name, the other friend just liked it).

I don't see why you can't use it. However, some people do get upset when someone uses what they consider to be "their" name, even though no one "owns" a name, so you should be aware that your friend might be upset. You can either cross your fingers and take your chances, or talk to her about it first.

Good luck! Ethan is a great name!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2005
Fri, 09-22-2006 - 5:28pm
I think you should pick a name that you and dh both agree on, regardless of other people's choices. Your son's name will be with him forever, and this other couple may move, or you may grow apart, or your two kids could just be best friends and both be named Ethan (remember all the Jennifer's who were best friends in the 80's-90's?). It's a great name, and is good enough that it can survive being given to 2 baby boys whose parent's know each other.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2005
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 5:46am
i've thought about this too.
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