Please let's wake up ......

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
Please let's wake up ......
2
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 8:49pm
Why we make it sooooo difficult?

Here is my "story".

I - when I say I it includes my husband :-) - know very well how hard it is to pick up the right name. Especially when everybody in the family has some “great” suggestion. At the end I had five names to choose from. One day my friend recommended that I should gave my daughter the name she can celebrate. What? I never heard about name day. Anyway I decided to see the website and I am glad I did.

http://www.mynameday.com Three of the names where not even on the US census list. From two remaining I choose one which I think is not only very nice, but most important it is very easy to spell by anyone. I named my darling - Elizabeth.

I think we should stay away from the name which nobody knows how to spell. Just put yourself in your child's shoes. How would you feel if every time you call somewhere and you introduce yourself they ask you to spell your name?

From time to time it can be O.K. but what about if he/she will work in the field which requires calling 10 or 50 people a day? Can you imagine spelling your name every single time?

Yes I understand that you want your child to be special. But do not punish your darling right at the beginning with the name which will be nuisance for the rest of his/her life.

What about grandparents if they want to send greeting card? Will they have to call you to ask for correct spelling? Or maybe they will take a chance and spell it their way, and hope it will be right.

We have more than many really nice names in our language. Let's use them. Remember. Today you want to be special, tomorrow you will be sorry.

What is your opinion?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-23-2004 - 7:17am

I guess I can only speak for myself, but why are you under the impression that people only choose unusual or unconventional spellings because they want to be "different"? Maybe there are other reasons!


For example, my grandmother was Elisebeth, not Elizabeth. Why would I spell it the way YOU like and not the way that honors her?


When I named my DD, we wanted Summer "Jalen" but because my great grandma was Elyn, (not Ellen) and hence my sister Lynda (not Linda), I wanted to use the spelling convention that went in line with my family (which I am thinking was the Welsh/Irish side of things, but don't quote me!) So I went with the spelling "Jaelyn". I could have just as easily used this as a first name--it's very pretty.


But this time I am having a boy, and I have gotten all sorts of flack on this board for my choice of FN: Kailen. Why KAI and not KY, which is just so easy to pronounce and spell? Because KAI is the Hawaiian for "Sea". KY is not--it's a form of vaginal lubricant. And I don't care for it.


Again, I only speak for myself, maybe a lot of people DO choose unusual names or spellings just to be different. But when I choose names for my babies, I choose ones that have special meaning to me and to my family. The choices I make are for very good reasons, and I am content that each of my kids received the name that is perfect for them. The funny thing is, at the time that I chose them, the spelling or name is not popular, but over the years, that changes too! DS's MN is "Braden", which was unheard of when he was born, but now the ADENs have taken over! (His father was born in Bradenton, FL.) DS#2's MN "Devin" has suddenly become a popular girl's name. Go figure. I chose it as a part of my great grandmother's maiden name, DeVincenzo.


I guess what I am saying is that one man's convention is another's "difficult". It's diversity that makes the world go 'round. Why fight it? People have been misspelling my name all my life. It doesn't bother me. I know who I am, and why my parents named me what they did. That's good enough for me!


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
Thu, 09-23-2004 - 10:54am
Deanna I am glad that your choices work for you. I have many friends which have “problem” with their names. Many of them are children from hippie era.

Thanks God they are giving their children the names which you can spell without problem. I just don’t understand why you will change spelling, when the pronunciation of the name is the same or very, very close to the original name.

But I think Kristin, Alex, and Joshua must love you very much because you gave them beautiful names. It is OK to “play” with middle names.

The other thing is celebration of the first name. They will not include a name in the calendar if it is not in the US Census. As I said before at first I thought it is stupid idea to celebrate name, but when I started to think about it I realized it is not bad idea at all. One of the reasons I like about it is, that on my name day no one will ask me how old I am. I can’t say that about my birthday. Yes, people generally don’t ask, but I bet you it is back in their minds. It doesn’t bother me now in my twenties, and I do not care what will happen later. I know I will be young in my soul until my last day. But some of the women take it very hard. I am sure you know some. Plus we have one more reason with my friends to get together and make our husbands crazy, because they have to come up with idea what kind of gift they should choose. Yes men make it too complicated. I will be satisfied with flowers or gooooood chocolate.

Sue