A question about name origins
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| Wed, 04-18-2007 - 12:52pm |
So after reading a post in the rants/raves section, the one with the link to an article about different names, it seems there is a consensus from respondends that using a name that is a different ethnicity or origin than the parents (and therefore the baby) is perfectly fine.
I am not so sure. My DH picked up a baby name book (we are not TTC, but are getting closer), found a name within 15 minutes, and now is dead set that this is the name for a girl. Its so crazy he did this, as he has never been like this for any other name. I like it too, but its scottish, and we are not. We are of a few European origins, but together we make children that are mostly English, and I have said I only want English names. He says, its close enough and that doesn't bother him at all, I'm not so sure. DS has an english name, and are other 2 boy names are English as well, although one of them has scottish ties as well.
Here is what I am afraid of if we choose a Scottish name...
A stranger: Oh, what is her name?
Me: _____________
Sranger: Oh thats pretty, different, etc, how did you come up with it?
Me: Its Scottish
Stranger: Oh are you Scottish?
Me: No
Stranger: Oh! (Either with a confused look on their face or falling to the ground laughing at me)
DH has sworn me to secrecy, and won't allow me to share the name, even here, sorry. I am convincing him that we will eventually have to have feedback if he wants me to okay it. He's convinced it is the best name ever and everyone will steal it and then we will have another boy, and then if we have a girl down the road, the name will be too popular for us to use. I have told him this is practically impossible, as not everyone is going to use the name, let alone even like it, and the chances of it becoming too popular are slim to none, it has never even made the top 1000 in the US. But I am humoring him for now, as I am not even pregnant yet.
So what do you think, can I use a Scottish name, even though we are mostly English, a little German, and a little Danish?

Well I might think differently if you'd said you were mostly Cuban or something like that, but I agree with your husband that it's not unusual for English parents to use names that are Scottish, Irish, etc. in origin. Simply browsing the list from the UK reveals Imogen, Niamh, Isla, Callum, Finley/Finlay and Ewan -- among many others
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I think it's perfectly fine. Scottish is not that far off from English after all, and many parents are choosing a variety of Irish, Scottish, and other European names for their children.
Now, if you and your DH were both of Chinese heritage, and your last name was Yang (or something else obviously Chinese), and you named your child Miguel or some other obvious Latino name, that might sound weird to me. But I'd still probably get over that, too, if the parents really just loved the name. :-)
Our older DD is Megan, and I actually had an older woman ask me once if we were Irish. It took me by surprise b/c even though Megan is technically an Irish name, it's so common that I don't think it necessarily carries the same cultural expectation anymore. I just told her no, we just liked the name. She did look at me a little weird, but I didn't care, and no one else has ever said anything.
Like the pp said, I'd probably just respond, "We saw it in a baby name book and knew that it was perfect for our daughter," or something similar. Plus, plenty of Americans are European "mutts," so no one will ever really know whether or not you have Scottish heritage unless they make it a point to ask.
Go ahead and use it!
Stephanie, mom to Megan Joy (nn Meg), Julianna May (nn Annie), and baby boy edd 8/30/07
I agree that mostly English heritage using a Scottish name doesn't seem odd to me, unless the name itself is really, really odd.
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I think this has struck a cord with me because I teach a Racial and Ethnic Groups class in college and we just did a chapter about Whiteness and White privilege and when I asked my students (mostly freshman and sophmores, so around 20 years old) if their heritage is important to them and for the most part they said no. I had them read the first few pages of the chapter then and they realized that "White" really isn't a race, and they are benefiting from the fact that their ancestors were white, and were able to assimilate into society, and that is something taken for granted, as anyone who wasn't pure English was set aside and subordinated at some point, and those "white ethnics" were not the same as white. I tried to explain this to DH he said, "its all the same island" and it just reitirated the fact even though cultures can be exremely different, if you can look the part, you can pass. Which would mean I am benefiting again from White privilege.
I actually think is has very little to do with the name issue, but because I always think sociologically, I have to bring in all other possible aspects I can think of.
I think I am over thinking it, thanks for listening.
>>>> Our older DD is Megan, and I actually had an older woman ask me once if we were Irish. It took me by surprise b/c even though Megan is technically an Irish name, it's so common that I don't think it necessarily carries the same cultural expectation anymore. I just told her no, we just liked the name. She did look at me a little weird, but I didn't care, and no one else has ever said anything. <<<<
Hah. Way back 31 years ago when I was born, and named Megan, my mother was always asked if we were Irish. It wasn't that common of a name back then so people assumed it must be cultural. I actually am Irish so she could say yes.
Nowadays nobody asks if I am Irish when they hear my first name because it's so common and really doesn't have a cultural connection anymore.
When I was looking for baby names I didn't even look at the origin, just the meaning. Which is funny because I ended up picking out an Irish girl's name. Bedelia.
Megan
In your position I would not even think twice about it - if I liked the mystery name in its own right, regardless of origin, then I would use it. I know Chinese-American children named Jennifer, Michael, Nancy, Fiona, Isabella, Kayli, Hope and Stella; I know of a Ukranian family (first generation, no less) planning to use Charlotte; I know an Italian-American family that's used traditional Celtic names; and there are so many more. Honestly, it is just not that big a deal, especially when you are talking about Scotland and England. The only thing that could make it a big deal is if it continues to bother you. And if so, then you should choose something else. Because you need to be happy with your child's name.
But if you do like the name and someone does enter into a conversation with you similar to the one you envision, that person can ask whether you're Scottish, and you can say, "No, but we saw this lovely name and liked it so well we wanted to use it for our daughter." If the person laughs at you (seriously unlikely!), then s/he is not worth your time, anyway.