same middle name for ss and ds?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
same middle name for ss and ds?
14
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 5:07pm

we arent expecting until early may....


if it is a boy we both really love Ian as fn, as far as a mn I really love Ian Scott (my husbands name is scott). It is our first child.


however my ss name is Micheal Scott? Would it be inappropriate to have them with the same middle name? Micheal is not a big part of our lives (not by our choice) and we rarely see him, he was a by product of a highschool one night stand thing.


Rachel

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2003
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 2:32am
I love that name very cute!!!


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joLee.jpg picture by mom2hailey

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 8:30pm
I like that it will be something that your husband shares with both of his sons.

Sarah

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 12:47pm
I personally would not use the same name. Just because you do not see Michael much now, does not mean that your children won't be close with him at some point in life. I would simply tred carefully to ensure that he doesn't feel like he is being replaced.

That being said, if it isn't uncommon in your family to use the same middle names, then there is no reason not to. In my family we specifically try to remain away from "taken" names and using the same one raises a few eyebrows sometimes :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 1:53pm
I wouldn't do it. I am married to a child of the first marriage. There was always resentment between the "first family" and the "second family." My DH and his siblings had thought that they weren't good enough for their father, or he wouldn't have gone and had other children (there is more to it than that, but I won't go into it now).

A name is something personal and is your identity. It might make your step-son feel that he is inadequate to carry his father's name because his father used the name for another child.

Maybe I'm analyzing this too much for your situation, but I'm basing this on my 20 years of being with DH and seing the family dynamics of his father having the two families.

BTW - DH did not grow up with his half-sisters. He never saw them growing up. Now that they are all adults he is very close to one of his step-sisters. The relationship that they now have came as a complete surprise to them. They never would have thought that they would be close when they were growing up.

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