sharing the baby's name.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2005
sharing the baby's name.
12
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 9:56pm
after seeing what my best friend went through after she chose the name of her son, i've opted to not share the name of my baby until after he is born. what does everyone think of this and what is a polite response to people that what to know?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2003
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 10:16pm

I never told a soul with either of my kids. I really didn't know myself as we went ot the hospital with a short list and waited until the baby was born to decide (didn't find out gender, so actually had 2 short lists).

People would beg and plead, "Come on, just tell me some names you are thinking of". But I would say that we didn't know yet, we were changing our minds, or come up with some really off the wall Dr Suess type name to give them.

People will be very open and even cruel with name choices before the baby arrives, afterwards, for most, they are much more polite and just thrilled about the baby. I highly recommend telling no one IRL your names.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2004
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 10:45pm
When we told people the name we chose for our first baby and got strange looks or ohhhh...kind of things...it really annoyed me. So this time around we are saying that we don't know yet and that usually works. We really haven't chosen a name yet but have tossed a few around...but I don't even tell them those. I just don't want to hear any negative comments.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 12:49am

I think it's a fine idea. Though I find that no one has a single bad thing to say if I tell them first that we've had our baby's name picked out for about 10 years. But if you want to keep it a complete secret, say "It's going to be a surprise! We aren't even telling our parents."

Good luck,
Kira

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 8:00am

It's a great idea. I'm doing that too because I'm sensitive and if I get a negative reaction from someone close to me, I just know I'll never forget it.

I just tell people that we don't know yet. If they ask for possibilities, I give them some names that I like, but are way down the list.

Linda

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 12:13pm

I just said that exact thing yesterday in another post, that after reading this board for a while, it seems pregnant moms ought to keep their names secret until after the birth so that friends and families will not interfere. if the name you're choosing is really really bad someone on this board will let you know in time to give it some thought.

the best thing to say is just a very simple "WE HAVE NOT DECIDED YET" then change the subject.

good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2005
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 12:30pm
I think this is a great idea. My SIL did the same thing. She just told everyone they were having a boy and they wanted the name to be a surprise. She is doing the same thing this time around too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 1:54pm

my dh and i did the same thing. wanted to chose the names we loved without conflict from everyone else. we at first said we'd tell everyone the sex but were "saving" the name to keep that special until our baby was born. when our dd wouldn't "show" us her sex everyone wanted the names in exchange. but we stood our ground and didn't tell anyone the names until she was born. they were a little tiffed and thought us to be "silly" in a way, but we didn't want the outside influence. i think people should respect you for the desicion...and if they don't, they'll know the names in a few months!

best wishes!
leah

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2003
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 2:14pm

It's definitely a good idea not to tell. To build on what other posters have said, you can reply that you haven't decided yet, and then ask them what names they like. That way they can feel like they are contributing and helping you and being included in the selection process. But be ready with some non-commital and vague comments like, "Oh that's a nice name," and "Hmmm, I like that too."

But of course, you can tell us, can't you???? We promise we won't tell a soul!

: ) Cara

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2004
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 4:05pm

We do the same thing. We keep our names a secret until the big day. I really don't want to know how everyone feels about the names that dh and I pick. People do not complain about a name when they see the precious baby. Hubby and I did not tell with our first baby and will not tell with this one. I think it gives some element of surprise to everyone....it is lots of fun to call your family and tell them what you had and the name when they have no clue of either one!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 4:16pm
I think it is really neat to withhold the name...but I am afraid that all of my preggo friends/potential preggo friends will "claim" our names before we do-if we do not reveal them. I would have been crushed if someone claimed our first baby's name since we had it pciked out at 19 weeks. What are your thoughts?

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