To steal / use or not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2006
To steal / use or not?
19
Sun, 10-08-2006 - 2:43pm

What is everyone's thought on stealing baby names? If you really liked a name but a 1) family member had it 2) a friend had it 3) a neighbor had it 4) coworkers child had it 5)It's a popular actor's child's name (well known)... Would you use it also? Just wondering how far most people would go to have the name they want. Also if you really liked a name but it was in a popular horror movie like THE RING the devil child's name was Samara, but you like Samara would you be able to use that name or is it forever ruined to you?

I really like Samara but have mixed feelings about it because of the horror movie. I also really like a nieghbors grand-daughters child's name. I am friends with the grandmother but not the grand-daugher and grand-daughter doesn't live by us but we see her at yearly BBQ's. When I was pregnant with my second a nieghbor friend was going to "steal" my female baby name but we both had boys! I guess I have been on all sides of this but was wondering what other's thoughts were?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2003
Sun, 10-08-2006 - 3:13pm

I think the answer really depends on two things:

1 proximity (how often you will see that person?)

2 how much you LOVE the name

As an example, my DD's name is Claire. When I was PG with her (and still today) I work(ed) with a lady named Claire. But we weren't that close so I didn't let that disuade me from using the name. Now our DDs are the same age almost so they may become friends and I might be spending more time with her. But I LOVe her name and I know she isn't the type of person who minds. If it gets confusing I will just call her by her full name Claire Elise.

Also, the boy name we have picked out is William. I hav a cousin named William who we see maybe once a year. But his name is pronounced the French way with the acent on the last syllable WilliAM. Plus we will probably give our William a nickname either Will or Liam. My DH LOVES the name William and he feels so strongly about it that I don't mind that it is my cousin's name especially since I like it, too.

It is very difficult to come up with a name that nobody you know already has! And chances are the person who shares the name with your child will see it as a good thing. Like I'm sure my cousin would LOVE it if we had a baby boy William.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Sun, 10-08-2006 - 3:32pm

<<>>

Generally speaking, I like names that are more uniquely my child's ... not that I wouldn't choose a popular name (I have), but if someone close to me had just named their child that, I'd be less likely to WANT to use it, KWIM?

As far as the actual examples you gave, if ...

1) a family member had it -- it would depend on the family member. If it was a beloved grandmother, uncle, etc., most would consider it an honor. If it was a sibling's child or even close cousin/cousin's child, probably not (I wouldn't want two children in the same family so close in age sharing a name unless I'd had it picked out for years or something). If it was a crazy aunt no one liked or something like that, I'd also probably avoid it.

2) a friend had it -- again, if it's the name of a friend you wouldn't mind honoring, that's fine. If it's not someone you want to name your child "after," then no. If your friend used a name you like for their child, it's off limits (again, unless you'd had it picked out for years -- the name of your beloved grandmother Lillian, for example).

3) a neighbor had it -- unless you have a bad association with that neighbor (or their child), it's fine, as long as you realize the children may end up growing up together with the same name. I wouldn't do it unless it was a name I truly loved, but there's nothing wrong with it.

4) coworkers child had it -- same as above. You're not as close with your coworker as, say, your best friends and their families, so your children having the same or similar names isn't as big a deal. Again, I probably wouldn't do it, but I wouldn't think it odd if someone else did.

5)It's a popular actor's child's name (well known) -- depends on how well known the child's (not the actor's) name actually is, I suppose. For example, Lourdes or Maddox are names pretty closely tied to their celebrity parents, while Matilda, Milo or Lola wouldn't immediately bring to mind their celebrity baby counterparts.

<<>>

If you can't get past the association, you may not want to use the name, but if it helps any (since you specifically mentioned you liked Samara), Samara was not "the devil's child" in the movie. She was a normal baby that was possessed (and who's birth mother tried unsuccessfully to save her), just like the little boy, Aidan, was in the sequel. And I doubt anyone would have the same association with the ever-popular name Aidan. If it's the sound of the name you like, however, Savarra might also appeal to you -- and avoid any such association.

<<>>

That seems pretty far removed, especially since it's not anyone you'd see very often. If you were going to eliminate the names of every best friend's college roomate's cousin's child, your list would probably be quite short. ;) I think you're safe here.

HTH, and sorry so long.

~Kelli


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2006
Sun, 10-08-2006 - 3:47pm
I LOVE the name Samara. I thought of using that if I had a girl but you bring up a good point about it being "forever ruined". I never thought of that but I still love it. As for the family members name, my cousin is three weeks farther along then me also with a boy and shes naming her son Ethan Matthew whereas I'm thinking of naming my son Adrian Matthew. My brothers name is Christopher Jerie and my little cousins name is Jerie Seth so as you can see in my family there is the same name trend going on there. All in all I think its fine to use a name someone else has...
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2006
Sun, 10-08-2006 - 4:26pm
Thanks for all the input! I really like names like Amaya (neighbors name), Samara (horror movie name), Mariah (too popular celeb name). They are all very smooth sounding. I also like repeating letters like Coco, Lola, Viviana, Rory,. My own cousin named her now teen Mackenzie and I like Makencia but it's very very similar. I really like girly names as you can see. I am going to keep my eyes peeled and feeling more free about using whatever name I like.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2006
Sun, 10-08-2006 - 6:25pm
The only situation I see that would make me feel like someone "stole" the name I picked for my child would be if I gave her/him a name that is truly original -that is to say, not an old-fashioned name like Joshua/Jacob/Emily/Lauren or a more trendy name like Evan/Tyler/Kayla/Riley... You can't really accuse people to have the same tastes as you, but if you tell someone your child's name and they go, "Woah, that's a great name!" and months later you see the same name on their birth announcement, you have the right to be a bit annoyed -especially if the name was completely unheard of before, as I said. But oh well, then just forget about it, it's not a big deal after all, your kids' destinies are not entertwined...
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Sun, 10-08-2006 - 6:27pm

The devil movie would not make a difference one bit to me.

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 12:32pm

What do you mean by "had it"? Do you mean they named their living children that name? Also, how close is the family member (sister/cousin/close/distant?)

No one "owns" a name, but you need to use common sense. If you really love the name, you can definitely use it, but that doesn't mean the people you mentioned won't be annoyed. If it is a popular, movie star baby name, I'm sure tons of other kids they know have it, and they will probably used to it, though!

I don't see any issue with using your neighbor's granddaughters name.

I have never seen "The Ring" so Samara has no meaning for me. If I saw it, I would think someone was being creative and changing the first letter of Tamara.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 12:38pm

I personally couldn't use a name that I knew so many other children with that name. That alone would ruin the name for me because I don't like SUPER popular names.

As far as the horror movie goes, I guess it depends on a few things. The child's exact character, how long I loved the name, and if there were other names I liked better. It is a personal choice, after all there are a lot of baby girls named Reagan, and that was the name of the girl in the exorcist.

Good luck to you!

Michelle
#2 EDD: June 5th

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 1:28pm

Reagan, Michelle LOL!!! As if

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2006
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 2:25pm

It looks like we are all over the board with what is acceptable and what isn't. The part about having the name...my friend and I were pregnant at the same time and we had picked out our baby names boy and girl. She had already picked out Rachael for her girl name but when she heard my girl name, I think it was Mariska at the time, she said she really liked it and had never heard of it before. Next thing you know she told me she had told her dh about Mariska and unbeknownst to her that had been his favorite name since highschool for a girl. And they decided to use it too. I doubted the whole story. I think they both heard the name and really liked it and decided to make up a story to more justify using it. Because they already had Rachael picked out and all.

I guess that brings up another point...is it okay to "hold" a baby name? Because that was kind of what it was, I was due first though. In your case with your dh I can see holding that name. But with other names is it okay to "hold" them. The only thing wrong with that is if you only have girls or only have boys. I guess that is why I don't like talking about baby names IRL. I always feel if I tell someone my idea it's open game if they like it.

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