Stealing a name!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2006
Stealing a name!?
5
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 9:55pm
I am sure someone has been here before. There is a name I really like. A friend of the family just gave birth and named their child *the name*. I instantly fell in love with it and I want to use it. These are what I would call loose friends in that we met them because they live in the same apartment building. If they moved we wouldn't keep in touch but because we are here we sometimes bbq, the kids play, and we are friendly. Just friendly enough to hand out once in a while because we are neighbors, not friendly enough that we would keep in touch if someone moved kwim? If this were family I wouldn't consider doing it. So, would *you* use the name in this situation or would you feel it's off limits. I am sure at some point one of us will move out of the apartment but until then it's possible we will be neighbors for a long while and the kids being a year a part in age could go to the same school. I know this makes me sound horrible, but because these people aren't family I guess I don't really care if they get mad that I used their name. I mean I don't *want* people mad at me but I will have my kid until I die and I might have these neighbors for maybe 5 more years? I guess I think the name is more important than the friendship (because it's not a close one) even though I don't want anyone mad at me. I feel if they like me enough they will get over it. If someone named their kids after one of mine I would be flattered and yes I would be smug they liked the name and copied it but I wouldn't stop talking to them or get mad about it. So what does everyone think, is this rude of me or is this okay?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 10:06pm

It doesn't sound like you're close enough to them for it to matter. If it's really "the" name, I'd use it! ;)

~Kelli


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2005
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 10:19pm
I'm with Kelli - it sounds like you aren't close enough to make this a big issue. If they were family or close friends, I'd say it was off limits. But a situational friend (ie work friend, school friend, apartment friend, whatever) isn't a close enough relationship for me to care about it. My boss' sister (who I know and like, I guess you could call us "work friends") just named her daughter Harper, and that is MY name. I've had it picked out for years. She didn't know that when she chose it, and really, it doesn't matter. Because I wouldn't have expected her not to use it simply because I had "claimed" it, and her using it isn't going to stop me from doing so. I doubt your friends will be really upset about it, they might even be flattered. You might want to lay the ground work early and mention that you are thinking of using the name. I'd make sure not to frame it as a question. ie "You know, it's funny, we were just talking about names for our baby last night and is our top contender. Wouldn't it be funny if we both wound up with little " That way if they don't like the idea, it's not like you were asking for their permission and when you use it later they can't say "You asked us and we said no" or whatever. Seriously though, I can't imagine it will be a major issue.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2005
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 11:14pm

I have to agree with Kelli and Annie---use the name. I would even be sure to mention somehow that "that name" is one that you had picked out in your head even before they used it. Tell them how shocked you were to hear it used by them and as Annie said, lay the groundwork ahead of time that it may be a name you will be using.

Theresa

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 9:30am

How uncommon is the name? Had you ever heard it or considered it before these friends of yours used it? Those things would make a difference to me.

It is a name, after all, and everyone has the right to use any name they would like, but it might get awkward if this couple sought out what they considered to be "the perfect" name after much searching only to have friends in the same apartment complex swoop down and decide to use the name as well. On the other hand, if it's a name that is currently quite well-known and popular it seems like it wouldn't be nearly as big a deal.

Ultimately the decision is yours! Go with your gut.

Best of luck,
Brandee

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 9:51am
Finding just the right name for your child is hard enough without trying to please the neighbors. This is a gift that you are giving your child that will follow them the rest of their lives. While it maybe somewhat awkaward when the children to play together, Jessicas, Abbies, and Johns have had to deal with classmates sharing their names for years without any hurt feelings. As long as you don't mind that your child too will have to be identified by an initial, I would say you have to go with your heart, NO ONE wants to give their child a "second choice / second best" name. I think it would be nice to let them know that you are considering using the name because you can't think of any name that is even as close to being as nice (how can they argue with that??).
Good Luck to you.