Too Opinionated
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Too Opinionated
| Fri, 11-04-2005 - 11:24am |
I'd just like to say that some of the comments or "suggestions" as they like to put it from your members is unnecessary. It seems like everyone out there is stuck in the Mary and John naming world. God forbid anyone want an uncommon name for their child or god forbid they don't spell something the traditional way. Come on people, be creative make the name just as much a part of you as the baby is!
My name is Kerye, yes that is like Kerry. Yes I had to correct people as a child and yes I still do to this day, but it has helped make me the person I am. I am not ashamed of it and have not spent hours in therapy blaming my mother for it. I turned out just fine and so will these kids with unique spellings or names.
And by the way, if someone asks for your opinion remember what your mother told you. If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. If there are 5 possible names and you only say I like 2 of them the point is still made that the other 3 are not great without offending anyone. Some of you are just down right rude!
Sorry to be blunt but I have been searching for a name for 9 months now and all I get is rude opinions. If I needed another rude opinion I would ask a family member, they are always good for telling you how the dog died.
My name is Kerye, yes that is like Kerry. Yes I had to correct people as a child and yes I still do to this day, but it has helped make me the person I am. I am not ashamed of it and have not spent hours in therapy blaming my mother for it. I turned out just fine and so will these kids with unique spellings or names.
And by the way, if someone asks for your opinion remember what your mother told you. If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. If there are 5 possible names and you only say I like 2 of them the point is still made that the other 3 are not great without offending anyone. Some of you are just down right rude!
Sorry to be blunt but I have been searching for a name for 9 months now and all I get is rude opinions. If I needed another rude opinion I would ask a family member, they are always good for telling you how the dog died.

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members ask for opinions on this board - many of them want to hear the negative opinions because it could prepare them for possible negative opinions of the name in the future.
what good would the board be if everyone just answered - oh, yes, very nice name, even if it's not what they really think?
maybe you just shouldn't post on this board then if you don't want to hear opinions. that's what this board is actually all about
the general concensus of this board is that unusually spelled names tend to put a child through a lifetime of constantly having to correct people. no one is forcibly preventing anyone from spelling their child's name however they want
this board is also heavily pro-classic/traditional names. I am not pro-classic/traditional names, yet I manage to have a good time reading and posting on this board
everyone has different tastes -and thank goodness for that - or the world really would be full of people with all the same names
when the opinions seem overly critical or overly rude - you can almost bet the name for which opinions were asked on must have been pretty "out there".
why post on an opinion board if you're too sensitive to other people's opinions?
HI Kerye - As CL, I'm sorry that this board has not been a great resource for you.
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But this is a board where people ask for opinions, and I always assume people want those opinions to be honest. With respect to not saying something unless it is nice, sometimes saying something the listener doesn't necessarily want to hear IS being nice. In addition, someone is not necessarily rude if they are honest and direct. People usually say that the name is not their style. When asked "what image does this bring to mind" people post the image that it brings to mind.
To me, this board isn't about gushing all over every name anyone posts. It is about giving honest opinions. This board has a wide demographic, and the things people think about the names are probably the things your family, friends and neighbors will think about the names. If you don't want to know that, why are you posting?
As the PP have said, if someone doesn't really want to hear negative opinions, they don't have to ask for opinions or they can indicate it when they ask for opinions. Even when people say that they don't like a name, it's never meant as a personal attack. It's not like they're saying, "Are you stupid? Why would you ever choose such an ugly name?"
As for creative spelling, you're certainly free to do whatever you want. Personally, I hate spelling my last name (it makes me miss my maiden name, which everyone could spell). Everyone's experience with his or her name is different. You may have enjoyed having a very uniquely spelled name, but your child may or may not. Posts on this matter are usually trying to be helpful in pointing out that there may be a lot of difficulties associated with it. I remember a recent post by a woman begging someone to reconsider naming her child Sienna because she had hated her name (Siena)--but it doesn't mean that the child would hate it or have an even remotely similar experience.
And again, you can spell the name however you want. When my grandmother had her first, she spelled his name Jeffery (maybe it was Jeffrey? We just call him Jeff). The nurse informed her, "You can't spell it like that!" My grandmother informed her that she could spell it *&@! and pronounce it Jeffery.
However, to claim that only a "creative" spelling of a name makes it meaningful and personal to a parent and an individual is not fair. Selecting a name is intensely personal no matter how you choose to spell it. Naming a daughter Rebecca or Rebekah, traditional spellings, doesn't mean she's less loved or that her parents didn't try to make the name "a part of them" just because she's not Rhybbeckah. Some people are as attached to traditional spellings as you are creative ones, and not for any lack of creativity on their parts.
While I understand some of your points, I think its a bit unrealistic to try to "censor" or limit the comments people make regarding name choices. Yes, people at times can be harsh, but you can't expect people to only comment on the names they do like. When I've posted questions about opinions on my child's name, I fully expect both positive and negative things to be said and I think to reject a name based on the opinion of an unknown person is silly. If I was really that attached to a name, nothing anyone said would stop me.
And I'm sorry, but giving a name a kre8tiv spelling doesn't make a common name any less common, it just makes it look like the parent was trying too hard to make their child stand out.
I agree that there have been times the comments have been down right rude on certain names. I tend to be one of the ones posting names that nobody likes. But, I do get over it. I always hate when someone says "it sounds made up" because every name was made up at some point in the past, by a human, with the exception of Adam and Eve, of course (for those who believe in God). I personally like some originality, but there are those names I think are too strange for me as well. I do try to be tactful when telling my opinion, and I think that is what some lack. And there are those names that some say are "too out there", maybe for Americans, but some of the names I've posted have been maybe from a French list or something, and maybe quite common there. Obviously somebody likes the names. I try to keep an open mind. I get tired of hearing the same names all the time.
Just my opinions,
Ali
Hi Kerye,
I'm sorry to hear that you have not found this board very helpful. I, too have an unusual name and I just love it! I believe that my name has made me who I am today. I'd love to help in your search for the perfect name if I can. Feel free to post directly to my attention.
Good Luck!
Creal
PS:
I'm named after my Grandfather - thus Creal is a name for a boy or girl. I've never met another Creal in my lifetime and I love that! I love never having to say my last name to identify myself. My Grandfather was so proud of his name and I know why. It's great to have a different name!
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