Too Opinionated

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2003
Too Opinionated
17
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 11:24am
I'd just like to say that some of the comments or "suggestions" as they like to put it from your members is unnecessary. It seems like everyone out there is stuck in the Mary and John naming world. God forbid anyone want an uncommon name for their child or god forbid they don't spell something the traditional way. Come on people, be creative make the name just as much a part of you as the baby is!
My name is Kerye, yes that is like Kerry. Yes I had to correct people as a child and yes I still do to this day, but it has helped make me the person I am. I am not ashamed of it and have not spent hours in therapy blaming my mother for it. I turned out just fine and so will these kids with unique spellings or names.
And by the way, if someone asks for your opinion remember what your mother told you. If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. If there are 5 possible names and you only say I like 2 of them the point is still made that the other 3 are not great without offending anyone. Some of you are just down right rude!
Sorry to be blunt but I have been searching for a name for 9 months now and all I get is rude opinions. If I needed another rude opinion I would ask a family member, they are always good for telling you how the dog died.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
In reply to: kerye
Sat, 11-12-2005 - 11:40pm

I do have to agree with you. I don't know how many times I have heard that names I have picked sounded "made up" and I think, Duh??? Isn't that how names start, they are made up by someone?? I mean I am not trying to come up with some weird name like Tinkerbell, but something different and unique is what I want so I don't have 20 in her/his class. I do have to say that I have gotten a lot of good advice, or opinions and actually when I was naming my daughter it really helped. This time around people seem a little more harsh and I am not really sure why. Hopefully they are on here for the right reasons and not on here just to create probs. Thanks for addressing this. I wanted to, but didn't really know how.

Melissa
Mommy to Brayden, Brielle and baby girl in April '06

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2005
In reply to: kerye
Sun, 11-13-2005 - 11:53am

Hi Kerye,

I have a horrible feeling you might be referring to me in your post- if I've offended you, ever, I'm sorry. The one I can think of was 'Isabella or Mikayla,' which I answered in detail and honestly. I did not mean to offend.

My job is at a preschool, where I teach great children with lots of different names, and there I do not think about names- you can't, as any kind of teacher, it's kind of impossible- all you can do is note the ones you really really like, or that particularly suit a child. Once I'm out of teacher-mode, though, I love to play with names. I deliberately do not comment on posts that involve my two 'nightmare' names, for fear that my bias is too strong.

My last point is that I hadn't considered where my bias for more traditional names(Anne, Maude and Neve for girls and Rory, Calum and James nn Jem for boys are top of our list for our twins) had come from until you posted this (apart from growing up with a name that was at first unheard of and then quite trendy), but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it's got something to do with the geography of my family- we live in sw ontario, my husband's scottish and my inlaws live in scotland, england, canada, france, germany, new zealand and australia, while my family is divided between canada, the uk and india. I guess the traditional spellings of names cross borders more easily, and that kre8tiv spellings are a more north american phenomenon? Hmm.

Maybe I'll just stop commenting when people ask for opinions, and stick to the open calls for suggestions :)

-Siena
Mum of Ewan and Isla, and twins due 6 April 2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2005
In reply to: kerye
Sun, 11-13-2005 - 12:08pm

I am sorry you have been offended. Personally, I WANT to hear the negative with the positive. My friends and family are not as blunt and might tell me what I want to hear.

I agree that sometimes the comments sting... but I just take it with a grain of salt. On the other side of the spectrum, I have heard negative comments about less "unique" names as much as I have seen negative comments on "made up names." I named my son Jackson and I have received comments that it is WAY too common (it was #52 the year he was born...not THAT popular). Just like it doesn't ruin a child's life to have a unique name, it also doesn't ruin a child's life to have a popular name. I consider myself very confident and successful and I grew up with a very popular name. My name is Lisa and it was the #1 the year I was born (and the year before and the year after). I did not feel like I had no originality or individualism. So, both sides of the arguments have pros and cons.

It all comes down to a matter of personal taste. The fact that we all have so many differing opinions is what I like about a board like this.

I don't post often, but if any of my posts ever offended you... I apologize. I never meant to be rude or disrespectful. I usually post when I have an opinion on a name and I give my honest opinion.

HUGS to you... good luck in your search for the perfect name.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2004
In reply to: kerye
Sun, 11-13-2005 - 4:05pm

Hi Kerye,

When I first read your post, I have to admit I really disagreed, and thought you were being unreasonable and that people aren't ever rude on this board. As I've thought about it, though, and read all the other posts in this thread, it's really gotten me thinking. I have been into names since I was a little girl, and I guess years of intense name consideration have turned me into a bit of a 'name snob'. Although, I feel as though I've tried to be pretty diplomatic on this board, I'm sure my true attitudes have come through, and I'm sorry if I've offended anyone.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for making me think about things. I guess I have been a little judgmental. I still prefer more traditional names spelled the traditional way, but you have made me realise that there are plenty of people who don't, and their opinions are just as valid.

Hope you stick around,
Jodi

ehk8apThanks, mom2jess_n_ky! <
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
In reply to: kerye
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 8:24am

I realize I'm a little late to this discussion, but perhaps if you don't want the opinions of others, you shouldn't ask.

My own personal opinion on alternate spellings is why bother? No matter how you spell it, it's still the same name. My own nephew is named Klaeton, which is really Clayton. Same name, different spelling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: kerye
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 2:13am

Seems like this is struggle when we 'discuss' names instead of just 'announcing' names when the child is born. Few people would question or comment on your name once it is attached to your child (except MY mother!), so I've found it's best to keep it to yourself. Except here, and other anonymous boards, where I can get honest feedback that is not personally directed to hurt me or reject my child.

I suppose if you're really attached to a name, then don't ask for feedback unless you really want to know.

3 years ago I posted here about a boy name meaning 'leader' and all I could find was Emory. Someone said, "Makes me think of an emory board" and that's all it took to set me straight. Likewise I asked a friend about the boy name Corin (Shakespere) and she said, "Corn?!" That was it... sometimes it's a risk to ask NO one for feedback. Our pregnant brains could miss something obvious, like a nickname for Tucker - ouch! ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2005
In reply to: kerye
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 11:48am
When I recently asked for opinions on the names I had thought of, I purposely begged for everyone to be honest.I wanted to hear the bad and good points about the names I had picked, and I'm so thankfull for everyone who participated in my discussion. I have a pretty good feeling about the names We picked, so it will not cause me to change my mind, but with that being said the "suggestions" are definatly things I'm thinking about.while I'm here, anyone who reads this is welcome to check yesterdays posts and give me some more "suggestions", I would really appreciate it.

 

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