Using a family name you don't like
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Using a family name you don't like
| Sun, 03-16-2008 - 11:43pm |
my boyfriend has a family name . his first name is glenn and he goes by his middle name. his father is the same and its been that way for like 5 generations. my bf came up with a name one night that i feel in love with. gavin michael. the only person that doesn't like it is his father. who wants us to use glenn and i just don't want to. but i feel bad on one hand but on the other its our child and we can do whatever we want. screw what anyone thinks. i'm just looking for some opinions. please help.

I say use the name that you like. Gavin Michael is really cute. You could compromise and use a family name as the mn. Gavin Glen is a bit heavy on the "Gs". ,but maybe there you could use Glen (your boyfriends father) 's middle name as Gavins middle name.
HTH!
Kaitlin, mommy to: Elijah Patrick (10), Emma Cass (7), and Millie Grace (5 days!!!!!!)
I don't think you should necesarily "screw what they think" as you have to look at it from their view- it holds important family significance to him, rather than just something that sounds nice. That said, it is your child and you should pick something you love.
Personally, I would use a family name. I am big on significance and meaning behind names. My boyfriend's name is Alexander, his father's mn is Alexander, and his grandfather's mn is Alexander. I was told when we were 15 and started dating that our first born would have an Alex name incorporated in his/her full name!! Honestly, Alexander/Alexandra is a bit plain for me (I love names like Esther, Scarlett, etc.- things a bit less common), but our first born WILL have an Alex name incorporated because it means a lot to his side of the family.
In the end though, it is up to you. My suggestion is to compromise with Gavin Glenn. Michael is a filler mn anyways, and you could still call him Gavin which you love.
I agree with the others -- I would look for a compromise. If you don't like the name, you definitely don't need to use it on a daily basis. But you could name him Gavin Glenn or Glenn Gavin, and call him Gavin. Then you get to use the name you love everyday, but your son still has a life-long connection to five generations of men in his family. Even if the name itself isn't something you care for, a six-generation tradition is a pretty wonderful gift for your son.
If you absolutely hate it and just can't bring yourself to use it, that's your prerogative. But keep in mind that this name isn't just something they like -- it's a name that has been in their family for five generations and signifies family and tradition to them. It's okay to break the tradition, but you don't need to kick it when you do. Be firm, but respectful and gentle when you break the news.