what last name to use??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
what last name to use??
9
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 10:46am
Thanks for all of your help with the first name of this baby. I am going with Norah Grace or Luke Thomas...yeah..that is finanly settled. I will know the sex on Oct 7. Now..the next dilema. The father of this child has left me for his old girlfriend...it is for the best but now I am having trouble deciding on the last name. My last name is Clapp. His is Milburn. Should I use mine or his or Clapp-Milburn. Help me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 11:16am
I think he should have some input on that. you should come to an agreement.

good luck.

Avatar for mylauw
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 12:18pm
Will he be involved in the father role for this baby? If so then I would consider keeping his last name - but if he is cutting all ties I wouldn't plan to use his name.

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2003
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 12:48pm
I would use your name only because if he left you then you are probably going to be the main parent in this child's life and he or she will be reasured by that conection with you. I think a name that comes from someone who has no part in your life could be confusing for a little one. Just my two cents. Good luck!

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 3:54pm
I think you should definitly use your last name...you're going to be the one doing most of the child rearing, so the kid should have your name. But Luke Clapp sounds kind of odd, and is hard to say. Maybe go with Lucas Clapp instead?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 4:51pm
I totally agree with the last two posts. Even if he plans on being an involved father, who knows how things will actually turn out? But no matter what, you know you will be a constant in your child's life, so I would give him or her the same last name as you (the parent they will most definitely grow up with).
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 7:14pm
i have a short story for you first.

when i was 18 i had my first child. my boyfriend and i had been living together for just over 1 year but, i really didn't think we would last through the year. when i had our sonm i gave him my last name. at the time i thought it was a good idea but, i didn't tell him i did it. by the time he was 8 months old we had split.

that is when he found out.

we fought for over 1 month about it. i think we fought more over that than anything else about the break-up.

we got back together within 3 months. we are still together and now have 2 more children- they have his name.

we still fight over the last name thing, even though i changed it by his first b-day!!

jeff is 12 now and knows that i didn't give him his dad's name and why. he really doesn't care either way but, he has asked before why i automatically gave matt and cera their dad's name. it is tough. but that's life. it's not always easy.

maybe if we hadn't gottenn back together i wouldn't have changed his name. i don't know.

if there is no chance of you getting back together and he wants nothing to do with the baby i would say give him/her your name. why should a jerk like that get the priveledge to be associated to the miracle of his child?

good luck with your choice.

kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 8:46pm
I would definatley give the baby which ever name I wanted. ANy man that leaves his pregnant gf in my opinion doesn't deserve a say in the name. If it were me I would give the baby my name.

Michele
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2003
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 10:50pm
Use yours. My friend had a similar experiance & it was much easier all around to use her name. When she later got married she hyphanated so she still shared the last name with her DS. HTH!

Andi


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2003
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 1:58am

I think you should go for the dads last name.

joLee.jpg picture by mom2hailey