What would you do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
What would you do?
7
Wed, 12-20-2006 - 3:24pm

Okay, so my SIL is pregnant and finds out tomorrow if she is having a boy or girl. She has mentioned the names they currently like to me, but its been over the phone and since they do not know the sex yet, it really has been much of a discussion. I will be seeing her over the holidays and since they will know the sex, I know she is going to ask me what I think. I'm not sure how to handle this as I am not crazy about either of the names. Part of me thinks I should be honest, as she and I are fairly close, but the other part of me thinks I should keep it to myself because if they end up choosing the name, they will always remember that I don' like it.

Another part to this is that the boy name they are considering is Zach, which I do not care for, but my main concern is that they don't think they will use Zachary and call him Zach, they would just name him Zach. To me, this is not a name you can do this with. I think John doesn't have to Jonathan, Mark doesn't have to Marcus, but Zach does have to Zachary. What do you all think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2005
Wed, 12-20-2006 - 3:32pm
To keep peace, just tell her that her choices are great. You could suggest using Zachary instead of just "Zach" so that he will have a more formal form of his name should he need it.
I have a friend who is pregnant now and they know they are having a girl and using the name Grace. Well, her sister always calls her to tell her ideas for a middle name in case they don't want to call her "Grace" but want to call her something else. It really infureates my friend so you might want to consider that before you say anything. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2006
Wed, 12-20-2006 - 3:33pm
That is a hard decision but..when I was pregnant some people told me they did not like the names that I had chosen and I took into consideration but..I still used the names.I have never told friends or family if I did not like the name that they had chosen for the soon to be child. Erin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-20-2006 - 4:20pm
I wouldn't tell them you don't like the names. You could politely suggest using Zachary. But it is not like Zach is some weird out there name that will get the kid teased.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Wed, 12-20-2006 - 4:50pm
No, I completely agree that Zach is a common name, my problem deals directly with that, since Zachary nn Zach is so common, I think its odd to only use Zach. I wouldn't tell her I didn't like the name, but I would tell her that most people think that Zach is the short form of Zachary, not a name on its own. Thats why I want others opinions on if its okay to use Zach on its on, or if it should only be a nn for Zachary.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Wed, 12-20-2006 - 6:04pm
This is one situation where I think you should keep your opinions to yourself unless she specifically asks you if you like a name. If she does, then the tactful way to go about it would be to say something like, "it's not really my style but it's..."(and here you pick depending on the name: "unusual. distinctive, popular," etc) "Distinctive" is a great one because it could mean a lot of things, including horribly ugly. I really don't think you should share your personal opinions in this situation. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Wed, 12-20-2006 - 8:00pm
Be honest.
However, Zach is fine just as Zach to me.
Even though my first choice would be Zachariah
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Wed, 12-20-2006 - 9:24pm
Thanks for the advice, I was never really going to say I didn't like the name, just say it wasn't my favorite, but it turns out it resolved it's self. My SIL called tonight and we started talking about names without having to answer one way or another,(She did ask point blank) I simply said I prefered Zachary nn Zach and she agreed but didn't know about it because of the mn they are using. So I asked her what other names they are thinking about and she said a few and then asked if I could make alist of names that I liked for her. I started a new thread about this, so if you have any suggestions answer below.
Thanks again everyone.