What's your take on this idea?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2007
What's your take on this idea?
6
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 9:53am

I have a 8 1/2 year old daughter and my son is 2 weeks old.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2005
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 10:53am

I don't really know. What is the real and true intended purpose of having a godparent? I mean, if it is for helping provide religious instruction to a baby, then it would seem odd to entrust that responsibility to an older sibling who is still a child herself.
I've also heard of people seeing godparents as being the guardians of the child (ie: if something were to happen to you and DH). I'm not sure about saddling a young child with that responsibility (of course she'd have to be 18, but that would be a huge burden if she were 18+ with an 8 year younger sibling).
As well, with such a big responsibility, I would think that both you and your husband should be in firm agreement on the issue, KWIM?

It's a nice gesture in a lot of ways, but I'm sure there are ways of involving her that could be more meaningful to her on a day-to-day level when it will matter the most:

letting her choose decorating stuff for baby's room.
considering her input on names.
making sure she is the FIRST person to see the baby after you two.
telling her daily what a great big sister she will be/is.
asking her opinion on things to do with the baby.
etc.

I know they're not as 'big' as being a godparent, but I also know that things like this really help make an older sibling feel a big part of the baby. We'd always referred to Solomon as "our" baby (ie: including Max) before he was born.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2001
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 11:40am

I don't know if you're Catholic or follow another Christian religion, but if I remember correctly, the godparents should have themselves been baptized, made their first holy communion, and perhaps even been confirmed. I can't imagine a priest agreeing to a baptizing a child whose godmother has not made her confirmation- Confirmation is a sacrament of initiation in and of itself. I would think your daughter would need to be confirmed first (again, this is if you're having a Catholic baptism). Aside from that, I would still wonder if there would be issue with the godmother being a minor. If I understand correctly, one of the obligations of a godparent would be to take over the care of the child should anything happen to both parents. How would an 8-year old do this, if such a tragedy occurred? I understand wanting your daughter to be involved, but I think there are other ways that you can make her feel a part of the child's life- perhaps even create your own little ritual! Maybe have a secular "naming ceremony" and let your daughter "preside" over the festivities- let her hold the baby as you name him (enter name here). It might be nice and make her feel like a part of it all.


Best of luck!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 1:50pm
I think it's a lovely thought, but is best in theory only. I agree completely with pp that naming your daughter as the godmother (provided the church would even allow it) would be more of a burden to her than anything else. That is a LOT of responsibility to put on a child. Besides, she already has a very important title: Big Sister! There are a ton of things she can do for the baby that are special just between the two of them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2006
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 2:18pm

I don't really think that people still stick to the original "purpose" of naming godparents, and I know for certain that if anything had happened to my parents, my grandparents wouldn't have gotten custody of me, I'm sure that would have gone to my grandparents.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 2:21pm
I agree that it's great to involve your daughter but being a godparent is more than a symbolic responsibility. I doubt it would be allowed in many churches or jurisdictions. PP's have made some great suggestions of age appropriate ways to make your daughter feel included. Best of luck!

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 3:10pm

I don't know if anyone else mentioned this possible negative: