Yet another question on Hyphenating!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Yet another question on Hyphenating!
3
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 11:04am
Mine is a little different than previous posts though. I am divorced and will get married to DF in the spring. I have a DS from my previous marriage, so I'm thinking of keeping my current last name and then hyphenating DF's last name. So which name is supposed to go first? And if I have a hyphenated name on my drivers license and SS card, do I always have to sign my name that way? I really want to use both names for when it comes to things involving DS. For everything else I will use only DF's last name. Is that possible? TIA!
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Avatar for haarlasr
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 2:51pm

Technically, you can do whatever you want. The only thing you have to decide is what you want your legal name to be. That's what will go on bank accounts, your SS card, your driver's license, etc. With everything else, you can go by whatever name you want.

Most people who are hyphenating put their name first followed by their husband's name. So if your name is Mary Smith, and his is Paul Jones, your new name would be Mary Smith-Jones.

I have a friend who decided to keep her maiden name when she got married, so she continues to use that for all legal documents. However, when they have kids, she said that she's going to introduce herself to her kids' teachers as Mrs. . That felt right to her b/c then she wouldn't have to try to explain why she and DH had different names (was there a divorce, are the kids stepkids, etc.).

I have another friend who made her new middle name include her maiden name. So her maiden name was Alice Rose Brown (just an example), and her married name is Alice Johnson. She can sign her name Alice R. Johnson, Alice R.B. Johnson, Alice R. Brown Johnson, just Alice Johnson, etc. She likes that flexibility.

Anyway, sorry this is getting so long, but if you really don't want to sign the full hyphenated name all the time, maybe you could just keep one last name (either your current one or your DF's). Then use the other name in personal affairs whenever you think it's appropriate.

This is a tough decision, so good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 1:17pm
For the life of me, I cannot understand why you would want to keep your ex-husband's name. Is your fiance okay with this? I cannot imagine he would be. I am also a divorcee who is remarried. My last name is now different from my son's. It truly is not a problem. My son's friends, teachers, etc. . . know that John Smith's mother's name is Mrs. Jones. Please reconsider.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 1:21pm
Well I don't want to normally, but I'd just use it for things that regard DS. May parents were divorced and I always hated it that my mom had a different last name. My DF has no problem with it. He wants my DS to feel as much a part of the family and our future children.
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