BFP after 2yrs TTC - 1st child LONG sorry...
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|Sun, 10-13-2013 - 11:48am|
SO quite a whirlwind for me in the past 2+yrs. About 6 months ago DH and I went to fertility center--of course it was very nerveracking and i wasn't feeling it too well.
I felt angry and sad that we would need to have a "test tube" baby; I was also worried because the doctor said treatments may not work due to my weight. Not to mention, the huge COST involved. So I was determined to "Get it done" on my own. I wanted a NATURAL conception.
Before I knew it, it was 6 months later! So this month I decided it was time to revisit the idea of getting outside help. The strange thing was that last month, I could have SWORN I got pregnant as my BBT skyrocketed-- it never goes above 97.5 and everyday it was 97.8+, but then good ol' AF showed. So I waited for O to come again--it wound up being two weeks late! So I doubted anything would happen this round. My bbs didn't get sensitive after O, which wasn't too much of a change as I have varying cycles of no pain and pain. What was odd was that my bbs started getting sore 2 days before my expected AF. Now THAT was strange because they never start hurting that late in the game--so it made me question if I actually O'd earlier or not...maybe I am just about to O...
Since I've had late periods before, and been disappointed, when AF didn't show on my "due date" I didn't go crazy like i had done in the past. I also felt cramps and lower back pain like AF was coming. This occured for a few more days. Then I took my bbt a few days ago--tanked all the way down to below my coverline. I started crying-- a SURE sign that AF was about to hit any minute! So I just waited...and waited. 2 days and no AF but still mild cramping and bathroom issues, etc. Thursday and Friday and I was like "great, if I get AF either of these days, I will have to wait another month to start fertility because they need to do 3day bloodwork--- that would mean SUNDAY, when everyone is CLOSED". So that was a litle depressing. But AF didn't come.
At this point, I'm about a week late and figured, mine as well take a PG test... I doubted anything would show as it hadn't for the past TWO YEARS. But still I waited in anticipation.
Slowly the control line appeared, and I looked for the 2nd line---nothing yet. OKAY but it can take up to 5 minutes, so I keep watching it. What's this? Within that minute, I DID see a faint line appearing. I couldn't believe it... really? I started getting nervous and shaking. I grabbed yet another stick, and another PG test -- this time a dollar store brand. Waited. 2 more faint lines, though the dollar store was very faint.
I was in disbelief. It finally has happened?! Of course, then I was like "MAN, I wonder if I tested a WEEK ago i could have known!!" Since this was my first time testing, and it was 21dpo!
My husband was still sleeping, so I went into the room and said "hey hun, I need you to take a look at something for me..." he slowly got up and followed me into the bathroom. I tried diverting him to the window, with like "there's something wrong over here" but then I pointed to the sink with the obvious ph sticks strewn about. I told him to look at it and tell me what he sees. He was like "uh, what am I looking at, what am I supposed to see"... REALLY?? After all this time, tv shows, etc he doesn't know to look for TWO LINES!! So I was like: 'two lines, two lines!"... of course, he said "well, i do see a faint line, is it okay if it's faint, the other one is so dark? UGH... maybe having him look wasn't the best idea.. haha (the lines, btw, were not faint at all---clearly lines)
SO to convince him, I brought out the "expensive" PG test, the 1st response stick. I barely blinked and a 2nd line popped so fast on that sucker, there was NO DOUBT.
I said, here, here clearly 2 lines (the ph line was darker than the control line!!). His response--- yes, looks like a possibility.
I started crying on his shoulder---part happiness, part exhaustion from this LONG LONG wait.
Of course, he didn't express as much as I did because he wanted to "be the level-headed one, not get too excited in case something happens, and wait until the blood test came back positive".
NOT the best reaction I had hoped for--- 2 year waiting and a POSITIVE PG and OUR FIRST CHILD... but hey, that must be me. haha
I wasn't going to "keep calm" and not get excited because something "mght" happen-- I know that. Anything can happen at any time, but why should I limit my joy NOW. I know it will be devastating if something bad happens, but me not celebrating now won't change the devastation I could have at some point, ya know.
So now I am reading up on baby stuff---what foods to eat, not to eat, what to expect etc.
So far, the only symptom(s) I have is sore breasts, the initial cramping/back aching, hearburn and constipation/diarrhea (though that happens to me a lot, so...)
I AM WORRIED though because of my weight--- I will automatically be classified as a 'high-risk pregnancy', risk for diabetes, higher risk for miscarriage, etc. That scares me...
Should I REALLY be worried about losing the baby due to my weight? I also fear I may get pregnancy diabetes because I was pre-diabetic.
I DID lose about 5-8lbs of weight in the last 2 weeks--- though I am now thinking that was because of my BABY taking food from me! haha
I'm well aware of not gaining too much weight during the pregnancy.
I'm not a regular exerciser and my diet is not the best (though not the worst either!). I know I need to change that.
I was reading what healthy diet I should eat--and almost threw up because it listed all these "health foods" I wouldnt touch in a million years! What normal person eats watercress, hummus, seaweed, and MULTI-GRAIN everything?! Not me.... I'm lucky if I choke down a piece of wheat bread! haha
I try to eat healthier foods, like if I want chips, they will be reduced fat. And I eat Rye bread instead of white bread, and drink water instead of soda. Eat low fat ice cream, etc.
I'll eat sweets a few times a week, but not everyday. I'm conscious of what I eat and usually endulde in "unhealthy" foods when we go out to eat, but will usually substitute a salad or potato for fries, and skip the dessert. I keep the weight on because I don't exercise-- cant muster the energy for it and I get frustrated because I get sick when I exercise, and dizzy, so I'm afraid to do too much.
SO... how am I supposed to eat healthy, if I don't like any of that healthy food!? And get some exercise if I don't have the time, energy or courage to do it?
Plus with work, I tend to not have a lot of time to "prepare" foods--- like cutting up apples, or toasting bread, or making eggs, etc.
I need a REALISTIC diet, and a REALISTIC exercise regiment.
My husband and I generally eat out at a restaurant once a week--- is that a no-no now?
We sometimes get pizza a few times a month--- is that a no-no?
Sometimes I get too busy and skip a meal or eat later-- is that harmful to the baby if I have hunger pains?
I KNOW my DHs sister didn't eat healthy during her pregnancy, and my co-worker didn't exercise, so can I have a normal, healthy pregnancy without having to "become a health and exercise nut"?
Endulge in fast food and restaurants a few times a month, but replace fries and fried food with a "healthier" option...and include more fruits and veggies (the ones I actually LIKE) into my diet, and still eat "white flour" foods, like white rice and white potatoes? I know I can't jump right into 30min of exercise a day, but i can start small. 5mins on elliptical a day, walking, etc.
OR do I really need to do more than that?