Finding time for our marriage...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2007
Finding time for our marriage...
4
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 12:05pm

Hey girls, I need some woman to woman support here.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2009
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 12:31pm

Terri, you definately aren't the only one. Right after Breanna was born, it almost seemed like I didn't care less whether or not there was time for intimacy. Now as the time is passing and Breanna is getting easier to manage, there seems to be more time for us. Granted, I only have one living child, and I'm a SAHM, motherhood is exhausting. Maybe take one night a week and cook a special dinner for the two of you, or go out to dinnner as a family. DH and I did and still do that and even though we may not be as initmate as we'd both like, we do have a chance to talk and converse like a couple should. Is there any one in your area that you could leave your children with for a few hours on the weekend so you and your DH could spend some time together? My sister is really close by so whenever me and DH both feel the need to have some time together without baby, she's always more than happy to baby sit for a couple hours. It took me a while to get used to the idea of leaving Breanna with her alone but once I was able to, DH and I really got to spend some good time together.

I hope you all recover quickly from your colds!! Being sick isn't fun for anyone!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2009
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 8:16pm

Hey girl first of all let me say I am so glad everyone is doing well. I haven't spoken to you in a while and glad to hear from you. i can only suggest what me and my husband do. I am extremely busy with school and him with school & work and 2 kids of course are busy but we have never let that intimacy stop. We have always said that is important to us and one extremely important way we show our love. Even if we have to wait till the kids go to bed n just lay in the bed and hold each other kissing we do. When Tj was first born I was there definately but as he got older it got easier. I guess we just find at least 30 minutes out the day most days just to sit and talk or kiss or even better. I know that you are just tired because taking care of a baby is not easy but it will get better as you know with Andy! So good hearing from you girl!

KStar Design.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2004
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 8:57pm
((HUGS)) You are not alone. Glad every is doing ok otherwise. I felt the same way for a few weeks after Oliver was born. DH was chompin at the bit to get back in bed, I wasn't. With all the other kids we didn't make it more than 3wks PP to start having sex again. But I don't know why this time I just didn't want it. I finally started to around 8wks. I think because my cycle was coming back. (got my 1st AF back at 10wks despite EBF.

For us we make time to be goofy still. We snuggle on the couch after we put the kids to bed. And we sneak away for a quickie on a sat morning. it makes it adventrous! We also put all the kids to bed at by 8pm now. We usually go to bed at 10 so that gives us 2 hrs just to ourselves. One thing I found helpful is remember how to flirt with each other. Dh still comes and snuggles a hug and kiss on the ear while I cook (and not a peck ;) ) Make sexy eyes across the table, tell me how much he loves me ect. Even while the kids are up.

I tell my parents when I teach child birth ed that you need to schedule time for just the two of you. Whether it's on tues at dinner you just take about the two of you (even with the kids there) What you want to do with the house, where you'd go if you won a 10K vacation. flirt around ect. And I tell them to schedule 'sex' nights. On thru. night we're having sex. you can be ready for it all week. Perhaps dh can watch the kids so you can shave your legs! LOL! But it will help to know you will be spending some time just the two of you. I found a bottle of wine helped us out too! LOL! Maybe too much since that's how Oliver got here ;) Good luck. You're not alone. I know it's hard when they are little like this to connect when you're tired. I'm exhausted and Oliver gets up every 3hrs though out the night too.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2007
Thu, 01-13-2011 - 10:00am

Thanks girls.