Random Thoughts

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2008
Random Thoughts
Wed, 11-03-2010 - 5:24pm

I'm reading "An Exact Replica of a Figment of my Imagination" and it's made me think about some things.

Lilypie Maternity tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2010
Wed, 11-03-2010 - 7:55pm

Thanks for mentioning this book. I looked it up and read the first chapter, and found it eerily identifiable. I've put in an order with abebooks for a used copy.


 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2009
Wed, 11-03-2010 - 10:59pm

I hope you don't mind, I just had a couple of things I wanted to say in response to your post.

1) In response to you holding on to Carson's ashes. I think it's a naatural response. It's the reason I had Zach cremated and have his urn on a shelf in our family room. It's the reason some Mommies wear some of their baby's ashes in a necklace. The thought of letting go, I mean physically letting go of the only part we have left of our babies is too difficult to fathom for us. I think it's completely natural to want to hold on to your son. He's your baby and you shouldn't be so hard on yourself!

2) I, too, have an older DD. I actually said to someone just the other day "Sadie lost me when I lost Zach". I was so sad and lost and then I was completely consumed with trying again and then completely consumed with staying pregnant. I don't know why our living children are not enough when we've lost a baby. I guess because the decision to have a second (or subsequent) child was made because we felt that our family was incomplete and that feeling remains after a loss. I felt the same way, and like you once I had my rainbow baby I still feel the intense desire to have another baby right away.

I just wanted you to know

Lilypie First Birthday tickers


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2008
Thu, 11-04-2010 - 11:05am


Thank you so much for your thoughts.

Lilypie Maternity tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2007
Thu, 11-04-2010 - 12:00pm

Hi Barb

I've read excerpts from that book but I need to read it in its entirety.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2009
Thu, 11-04-2010 - 2:42pm

I'd heard about that book after Dylan died, and finally found it during my pg with Maisley.


Baby Dylan - still

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2009
Thu, 11-04-2010 - 10:11pm

You have said somethings that I totally identify with. I don't talk about my son as much as I should. When I am doing clinics, which right now we are doing L&D, they ask me "How many kids do you have?" I can't say well I have 2 living and I lost one b/c they are already stressing..so I feel as if I have cheated Treyon not including him. Now any other time I will always include him. Also, about not scattering the ashes, I did not do cremation b/c I think I would have always held on to the ashes because you never want to let go of the thing that ties you with your son.

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