Even with my rainbow baby here, my heart hurts so badly.
Forever in my heart...
Thank you for the support, I just needed to vent today.
Having a baby definitely can amplify the hurt - of course, it is wonderful to have a rainbow baby, but then to see them grow up and feel the pain of knowing that there will always be a son or daughter, a sibling, a grandchild who isn't there is so hard.
Thanks for responding.
I know it is a bummer when that happens! The boards are always pretty slow in the summertime but I kow it's been especially bad lately.
Girly I know how you feel. When I watch Arianna sleep at night or laugh and smile and cry I think about Kierra and how she would have been. No one can ever replace my Kierra. I wish she could be here with us also. She would be 1 year old on August the 8th if she made it to her due date. I can imagine her crawling around and seeing her smile. I wonder sometimes if God took her from me because he knew she would not survive for some strange reason but I'm grateful that I had to enjoy her in my belly for 5 months. That's a bond only me and her were able to share. Its so weird that the day I found out I was preg. with Kierra is the day my new baby Arianna was born.
Thanks for posting.
The boards have been quiet. I'm so sorry. I know what you mean about having another baby sometimes amplifying the feeling. I miss my daughter Tesla every day. And even though I now have a living daughter, Robin, with me, I frequently find myself saying things and thinking things that just make me miss her even more. I look at the nursery my baby is sleeping in, and get pangs because it wasn't painted for her. The same with her clothes and some toys... they were bought for Tesla. But as Robin grows, there is less of that, and I suppose that's for the best.
Sometimes, to make myself feel better, I like to think that she's looking out for her little sister. It's an unusual thought for me, but it always makes me feel like she isn't so far away.
I think of the exact same things.
I feel the sadness, too.