I was THAT mom today at the park

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
I was THAT mom today at the park
14
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 4:08pm

...and it was awful. The weather today is sunny and beautiful, which is really rare for us this time of year. I took R&E to the park. I had Elliot in his ergo carrier which makes wrangling Robert a challenge. I shoulda known better because Robert got up too early this am, but when it was time to go he had a total and complete NUCLEAR meltdown. The running away, the writhing in the wood chips, the screaming NO! the whole shebang. To my credit I kept my cool, but it was.not.pretty. Some mom came over and offered to help saying she's been there, but I said no I'll just be carrying him at this point, which I did, barely, as he was writhing under my arm. If I were an observer, I would've assumed I was witnessing a toddler abduction. And a poor choice of toddler at that.

Robert normally has difficulty leaving a playground. I swear to GOD I've tried the polite warnings (we need to leave in 5 min), the Toddler Time (we're leaving after we use the swing), the carrot, the stick the begging and crying NOTHING makes his leaving easy. He gets maniacal as the time approaches. He wanders frenetically...its totally maddening. How bad is this, today I was thinking "I'm never bringing him to a park again. I can't handle the exit!" I feel like a total LOSER! Robert is hard, much harder than my older kids ever were. I never had to put so.much.thought into everything. We can leave zoos, indoor playgrounds, preschool coop, stores, just not the park. Anyone interested in fixing my toddler, or fixing me a drink..?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2006
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 4:56pm

That does sound dreadful..

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2006
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 4:57pm

I'll fix you that drink!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 9:34pm

This happened to me yesterday, on our street. Even mostly docile Aaron can go Cujo on me now and then.


There is a little creek that runs through our 'hood, about bath water deep, and Aaron loves to stand or sit on the bank and throw gravel into it and watch it splash. I have no doubt he could do this for



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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2006
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 9:45pm

It's too bad that Moms of toddler boys can't carry syringes of tranquilizers for just these moments. We have similar meltdowns here when it's time to go inside.


I hope some of the advice on this thread works!


I find a good single-malt scotch is helpful for coping :)

 

Lilypie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2007
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 10:10pm

Chet,


I have no answers. Even my mellow man goes "no bones" in protest on occasion. Lily can go nuts over getting dressed. All of our nuclear meltdowns have happened at home so far, but it is only a matter of time. And only a matter of time before someone calls CPS wondering what we are doing to our daughter.


Nothing here but empathy. And a beer.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2006
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 11:08pm

Go for the drink.


The social worker in me says the sticker chart can work wonders---the mom in me is not always convinced. Maybe a "special" snack in the car? A stroller to strap him into (while screaming and writhing) to make it easier for you? Or, perhaps fewer park visits for a few months until this issue passes.


Rebecca


2005 5 IUIs + stims---all BFN
4/06 IVF #1 BFN
8/06 FET #1 BFP. Boy/girl twins 4/07
1/10 IVF #2. BFP. Lost baby 4/10 at 11 weeks.
7/10 IVF #3 . BFP. Baby #3 due 4/8/11.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 7:45am
You are not alone. Remember this pic?
"Audrey we have to leave now"
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2003
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 7:53am

It's like our boys are having parallel lives. What is it with the tantrums? I think you handled it really well, especially considering Robear was being, well a bear.


I will shamelessly admit that I have used bribery to get Jack to leave someplace without a meltdown, whether it's a treat like ice cream or a quick jaunt to Target (he hearts Target). Thankfully, most meltdowns happen in a place that's kid friendly, but he threw the champion of tantrums at the outlet mall - you know, the kind that gets you "the look" from our older citizens.


I like Lisa's idea of practicing how to leave the park. Perhaps you could couple that with a bribe, err, reward

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 8:43am

Sounds like your boy is just like all the others around here. Stubborn - or strong willed - whichever term you prefer.

Nick LOVES the park, but luckily he plays soooo hard while he's there he usually is ready to go. I say usually though, because he has made me "THAT Mom" too. I have carried him out of the park kicking and screaming and yelling "Noooooo!" a few times.

I think it must come with the toddler territory and, hey, it's their GD job to embarrass us, right?









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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 12:30pm

oh ladies, thank you thank you for not making me feel like a rat. I was seriously on the ledge after that park incident. I was honestly rattled. PTSD. When Mike came home I was telling him about it and he started milling around looking at the mail etc I said HEY! I almost packed up and ran away from home today, could I have your GD attention?? MEN! A miniglass of wine while I cooked dinner was sinful, but just the adjustment I needed. Ain't that sad? . Thank you all so much for the ideas and commiseratin'.

Lisa, Robert is NOT the reasonable type. He also wouldn't appreciate the practicing. He's not there yet, but I totally get what you're selling. Stickers would only work in an instance where he is doing the good thing NOW, as in potty training. Might be able to make it work if he had a sticker book in his car seat. Not a bad idea...

Caren you gave me a total AHA! Yes playground is ALWAYS a pre-nap activity. This is because of the structure of my day. You're right, he needs a Robert sized incentive to leave that park. The promise of a nap is a poor incentive. I can do better. You gave me excellent insight. Funny how its RIGHT THERE but you can't see it.

Of course I'm available for drinks with you all, when my new ideas fail. Or when they don't fail LOL. I'm in no matter what LOL.

Thank god for you ladies and this board.


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