Overwhelmed, help needed

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Overwhelmed, help needed
21
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 4:36pm

I feel bad even posting about this because I know there are some of you with multiples who work full time and have everything perfectly organized but I am struggling here and wanted to see if you ladies had any insight/advice.

I will begin by describing my day today and yesterday. .
~Audrey slept in till 7am today. Woo hoo! (She has been getting up at 5:30) so we have music class at 10:30.
~15 minute drive.
~10 am, I am not dressed or showered, Ben in poopy diaper with PJs still on, cant find wallet. Audrey needs shoes and shirt.
~10:20 am, frig the wallet, will find later- give Audrey shoes to put on in car. Put my hair in clip, shirt from yesterday and apply mascara while driving. Change Bens diaper and put blanket on over his pjs so no one will notice.
~After music class need to go to Home Depot to pick out cabinet and Target for formula (They are 2 mins from where music class is).
~Oops cant find wallet, go all the way back home to look. Not there. Do I remember taking it in from the grocery store last night? Hmm, no.
~Call grocery store they have it! I left it there yesterday because I went food shopping while Audrey was in speech therapy yesterday (speech therapy is 1/2 hour from my house). I realized when I got home I forgot the bag with the cold cuts in it. $20 worth! Store too far away from home to go back, so I call store and ask if somehow I can go to store near me and they give me new cold cuts or refund. Sure no problem so 3 managers and an hour later I go to store near me, get cold cuts, forget wallet.
~Come home , its 6 pm no idea what to make for dinner.

I mean, things are like this every day. There is nothing new here. I am never organized, on time or functional in any rational manner. I could blame it on the second child but really I have always been like this. As I sit here the laundry is piled to knee-high on the floor of the laundry room, if you open any closet, things fall on you etc. My weight is out of control, I just feel like everything is out of control and I dont know where to begin to change or to make things better.

Any ideas?
;-)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 5:54pm

I feel bad even responding because I only have one.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 7:11pm

*I* feel bad responding because I'm sort of a loser. My advice is similar to Jodi, get things in order in advance. Also, make one place for keys and wallets etc. I used to be famous for the mad key search on the way out the door. Now I have a hook for everything. It sounds trite, but it helps. Also, make rules for yourself such as no coffee unless you are dressed. Or no breakfast until everyone is dressed. Just make some stupid little rule that keeps you honest. Also, and this is important, remember you have a young baby in the house. You cannot do it all like you used to. Two is more than twice the work.

And dim the lights. Always dim the lights.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 7:13pm
oh yeah, and always shower at night. It helps. Mornings are too crazy otherwise. Plus you get fabulous hair from sleeping on it. My hairdressers all agree on that.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2006
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 7:24pm

I'm sorry you're feeling stressed and out of control. Here are a few things I do to help us get out of the house:


1. Shower before DH leaves in the am, even if it's at 6am.


2. DH has tasks to do in the am---give kids new diapers, get them dressed, start breakfast. These are all things I don't have to do and that he does while I'm in the shower.


3. Don't put off anything. If the kids are eating, I must be emptying the dishwasher. No checking email. Or

Rebecca


2005 5 IUIs + stims---all BFN
4/06 IVF #1 BFN
8/06 FET #1 BFP. Boy/girl twins 4/07
1/10 IVF #2. BFP. Lost baby 4/10 at 11 weeks.
7/10 IVF #3 . BFP. Baby #3 due 4/8/11.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2007
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 7:34pm

Hey Kristen,
I laughed reading your day because I feel like I have so many of those. The only way I can get out of here on time with everything I need is to do everything at night. I pack the car at night. Pack the diaper bag at night. Pack the snacks. Shower at night. Sucks because I kind of forfeit my "free time" at night but at least I leave with most of what I need in the morning.

I like the "no breakfast until everyone is dressed" idea. Will be trying that one when I go back to work. Those little rules do help a lot. Fiona picks her clothes for school out the night before and sets them on the dresser. 7/10 times she changes her mind but usually we're pretty good. Oh, and Ben in pj's...who cares! He is a baby. Worry about his clothes later.

Having 2 is chaos. It is way more than wrangling one. What will we do when Ben and Mack start walking? Oh, I can't even go there.

Good luck. I just have to take things one day at a time. One crazy friggin shopping trip at a time. :)

Oh, and whose hair looks good after sleeping? I look like a madwoman in the morning. You gals are LUCKY.

Annie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 9:01pm

I don't have much to add - I totally agree with everyone else.

Summer siggy 2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 9:27pm

Thanks girls, sorry I just vented like that! I would say it was a bad day but like I said they are all like that!

Great ideas, about the scheduling and doing things the night before. If you guys can do things the night before, so can I. I always just drop dead on the couch with wine but packing bags etc the night before will help instead of my usual running around 10 minutes AFTER I am supposed to be somewhere looking for baby wipes to put in the bag. LOL

;-)

I need a fundamental lifestyle change and its hard, I just have to try not to overwhelm myself or I wont do anything. Small steps, small steps. I am just afraid my carelessness will one day result in something happening to one of the kids. Remember when I locked Audrey in the car? I was again, rushing and doing things too fast....

Great ideas, thanks again!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2007
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 9:48pm

Kristen -

First off - deep breathe - you are doing a great job! Honest - both kids are just gorgeous and healthy and doing wonderfully - that means you are doing a great job. As for the crazy feeling I think you may benefit from a good day of organization. Now that may mean lots of different things but you need to find what works for you. For me I know what I will be doing each day so I plan it out the night before. I have Sara's bag packed for whatever we need - then I also plan for when I have Milo. So I have 2 on these days and we go out a lot. It does get crazy and I don't get laundry done every week but Sara is dressed and I am dressed - I shower at night before bed and I have my clothes laid out the night before (always sweats and a t-shirt) so that part is done. I also make Milo's baby food the night before he comes (he eats puree mixed with cereal) and I make his bottles too (he uses the drop ins so I just put the right amount of formula in the drop in and line it up next to the bottles and whatnot. I try to think about what I will feed Sara so it isn't a crazy task each meal. I just try to do things in advance so when it comes up it just flows. That may work for you it may not. You have to find what works for you and the general sense of calm that may come to you from being prepared will help you feel more calm in general.

good luck.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2001
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 10:28pm

Kristen,


I agree with everyone's suggestions.

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2007
Thu, 04-30-2009 - 12:55am

Kristen,


Late to party. You got all my tips already. And I want to stress what one of the PP's said, can't recall who, about sleep. I am not good at anything when I am tired. We go to bed at 9:30. I get up at 5:45 and shower. When I have had enough sleep, I can handle whatever any day brings. Though the wine may relax you, it may keep you from getting good deep sleep. My girlfriends still tease me because in high school and college I would not drink the night before certain big events because I didn't want it to mess up my REM sleep. LOL! totally true!

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