Sleep HELP!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Sleep HELP!!!
14
Mon, 04-20-2009 - 3:48pm

Nan???? Michelle?????? Anyone with kids in big beds?????


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Let me start by saying that we had been doing pretty well. I am hoping that last night was just a fluke. I also think that her sleep is off aka not getting enough. She's been going to bed later even when we put her down earlier. And she wakes up at 615/630 no fail.


What do you do when the keep getting out of bed??????


Usually it's only once or twice, use the bathroom, etc but last night was pull your hair out night.


We tried putting her to bed earlier than normal (trying earlier to get back on sleep track) 7pm. She was still up at 10pm. She kept coming out of her room asking stupid stuff.


Hindsight tells me that I probably should have just walked her back into her room without talking, no?


Long story short, her room is now void of all books, toys, stuffed animals. She thought it was funny. We will put it back in but we were just at our wits end last night. Nothing was working. No threats, etc. We had to follow through on the threats so that's why there are no toys now.


I know this post is garbled...I am on a time frame. LOL! I had 2 hours for me (limiting nap time) and worked out for part of it. ;)


I just need advice, hugs, anything. I have mommy guilt. I have other parenting issues as well but I don't want to air all my dirty laundry. ;)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
In reply to: rinny0525
Mon, 04-20-2009 - 4:55pm

(((HUGS))) headed west!!!

You know that I have no personal experience here, HOWEVER, I did see an episode of Super Nanny where they had two kids in the same room that kept getting up, stalling going to bed, crying/screaming, etc. Super Nanny had the mom/dad sit in the room and anytime the kid(s) got up, the mom/dad would get up, pick up the child and replace them in the bed. The mom/dad weren't allowed to say anything at all to the kids. One time I think it took them like 2 hours or so to get both kids asleep. But, it worked.

Sounds to me like your gut instinct and hindsight are 20/20. Walk her back into the room and tuck her in. Keep doing it until she breaks down and goes to sleep. I think if you talk to her, you give her hope that she can talk you out of making her go to bed! LOL

Of course, all this I say with only watching it on TV. I'm sure I'll come here in a few months asking for your advice. It's much easier said than done.

Good luck and let us know how tonight goes!! :-)









Andrea-Fall08.jpg picture by MarieM414





iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
In reply to: rinny0525
Mon, 04-20-2009 - 5:19pm

like I said last night, your post reminds me to NOT get a BBB. sometimes we only serve as a warning for others LOL.

I haven't a clue what you should do. My older kids weren't like that BUT Robert definitely IS. I'll be watching the responses carefully. My guess is the answer is to take her back to her bed, calmly, quietly, ad nauseum until its over. If you keep returning her, she will eventually see that getting out of bed will not work. Toddlers (and teens) press boundaries to see how far you can be pushed AND do you really mean it. This is why they are maddening.

I've heard people say to lock their door, but I believe this is a poor strategy, not to mention a safety issue. They should stay in bed because its night time AND because you say so, not because they can't open a door. Get the kid to internalize the behavior kwim?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2007
In reply to: rinny0525
Mon, 04-20-2009 - 5:27pm

I love me some super nanny and she does the following with toddlers on up:

1st time out - You say nicely and warmly "It's time for bed" and walk them to the bed.

2 time out - More firmly but neutral "Bedtime." and walk her to bed.

3rd and all subsequent times - Say nothing and lead her back to bed - put her in and walk out. Keep doing it until she stays in bed. It is kind of like CIO it stinks for the first few days until they get it and then you have your nights back to yourself.

Good Luck! I haven't gotten here yet but it seems to work on T - LOL!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: rinny0525
Mon, 04-20-2009 - 6:27pm

LOL. It must be an omen because I've seen a total of 1.25 Supernanny shows, and both had toddlers who wouldn't stay in bed.


It was just as Andi said, and I think Weissbluth recommends the same strategy.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
In reply to: rinny0525
Mon, 04-20-2009 - 7:18pm

Yes ditto on supernanny idea. I am doing that with time outs right now and now the threat of time outs is working (90% of the time) LOL.

I know I am in for this same problem because Audrey has been SO GOOD in the BGB for 3 weeks now. Except one night she came in my room crying and saying "mommy you left". Screaming it, so I guess it was a bad dream? I didnt think bad dreams were possible for someone with the life of riley like Audrey ;-) But she has been good so far, this happened with Em too, right she was good in the beginning?

((((((hugs))))))) toddlers are tough!!!!!!!!

Oh I notice the nights when she doesnt take a daytime nap, she goes right to sleep. Right now I am sitting here on the computer listening for her to stop talking and it took 4 minuts and she is out. She wont get up at all. Is Em still napping? I know it SUCKS but if you cut out the nap, she will be so pooped she will go to bed and stay there. I also assume you read to her to calm her down, low lights, drink of water or something before you put her in? If you tell me she is still taking a 3 hour daytime nap and up till 10 pm I will tell you to cut the nap out for sure. She isnt tired. ;-)))

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
In reply to: rinny0525
Mon, 04-20-2009 - 9:51pm

(((((HUGS)))))

I was dealing with a similar problem with Sofia. With her it would be getting up all through the night, standing in her door and calling for me. As soon as I would get to her door she would go back to bed. But it is exhausting!!! I have a baby gate in her door so that she can't get out, and I wont go in to her room. I will stand in the door and tell her to go back to bed.
Also, the counselor we are seeing (because of my teenage stepdaughter, a whole other story) suggested time out. Let me tell you, no kid likes a time out at 2 am!!! We use a time out wall in the living room, and I have had her out there a couple of times in the middle of the night. Also, on the counselors suggestion, I made up a reward sheet, and every 2 days, if she had stayed in bed all night both nights without calling for me, she got a special toy. I had the toys sitting high up on a book shelf so that she could see them every day, but only when she got her 2 stickers on her reward sheet did she get the toy. Between the time outs and the rewards it took about 2 weeks and she stopped calling for me.

Every single night I pretty much repeated the same thing. You are a big girl and big girls stay in their bed. You sleep in your bed and I sleep in mine. Stay in bed, don't open the door, don't call for Mamma. After a while she started listing every thing herself at bedtime. But like with most things for toddlers, they need repetition, so it worked.

I'll allow one run to the bathroom, and after that she stays in her room. She's not allowed out, and I don't go in to her. If she still wont stay in bed she gets a time out. After that I don't hear from her until morning. We started all this about a month ago, and I haven't had to use a time out for about 3 weeks now.

Of course, like now when she is sick (she's been down with a fever and congestion for 4 days), these rules get bent. Hopefully she wont go back to her old habits once she is feeling better!

I hope it gets better for you soon!




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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
In reply to: rinny0525
Mon, 04-20-2009 - 10:36pm

Thanks guys for your advice. I knew I could count on you guys.


Tonight was better. Her nap was 2 hours. I had to wake her. We were going to put her to bed at 630, thinking it would be best to get her caught up on sleep. She was wound up like a spring and I had to leave for an hour. We got her to bed about 745 and she went right to bed. Didn't get out once. *big sigh of relief*


We were prepared to do the supernanny thing. Not sure why we didn't think of it last night. I do think we went a bit overboard last night but once you make a threat, you have to follow through. Not sure why I didn't think to consult Weisbluff. He's under my bed somewhere.


Kristen- I have seen Emily with no naps. It's not pretty. We tried


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
In reply to: rinny0525
Mon, 04-20-2009 - 10:58pm

Good luck tonight!

I know every kid is different but the first few days w/out nap are hard (nightmare) but then they eventually get used to it and are truly pooped by 7 pm. At least thats what happened with us. Toddlers dont need 14+ hours usually...if u are still having problems maybe you might want to try it. Just an idea. ;-)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2007
In reply to: rinny0525
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 2:39pm

Karon


At some point we used a 'treasure box' for Owen. I got a bunch of cheap toys at the dollar store and put them in an old diaper box. If he stayed in bed all night, he got to choose something from the box in the morning. It worked great.


Jen

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
In reply to: rinny0525
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 3:39pm

Great idea Jen! Except we call those "poop presents". LOL! She gets to pick a gift when she goes poopy. :)


Knock on wood, I think we are on the way back to normal.


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