QOTW - 4/25 - Are you "out of the closet" with IF?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
QOTW - 4/25 - Are you "out of the closet" with IF?
6
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 11:24am

With it being National Infertility Awareness week I thought this was a good question.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2008

For the most part I (we) are private people. At first (back in 08) I told a lot of people what we were going through. Then as time went on I became more and more private about it. People would say the craziest most insensitive things! Although they were coming from a good place,at times it was not what I wanted/needed to hear. Especially after multiple BFN's it would start to annoy me if anyone asked me questions. I knew I was becoming hyper-sensitive but I could not help it. That is why I LOVED theses boards so much. to this day I can really only talk about it with people that have some understanding of IF. If and when we ever try again I wont share too much info with others........I did that the last few times and It worked better for me.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2009
When we were trying on our own I didnt tell anyone about it or the 8 months of bfns I finally cracked after several rounds of clomid were unsuccessful my cousin was pregnant and I was going nuts I had to explain to someone why I was crazy. I also wanted to tell people to shut up when they were insensitive. I'm totally open about it with anyone and often offer my experiences for help if they ask for it. I'll be honest I don't understand keeping it totally uner wraps I think it makes it more shameful and taboo for others but also totally respect those who don't want to share
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2008

I totally agree! I love to share my story with others that having a tuff time! I kinda pick and chose at this point though. like on a need to know basis. the rest has been all about self preservation for myself.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
havinfaith ~ I can totally understand keeping it private. People do say really stupid things. Somewhere along the way I took it upon myself to educate my friends and family and teach them to say the things I needed to hear =) I might be a touch type A *LOL*

Taressa ~ Clomid can crack the strongest of us! It made me 100% crazy. I think I got over the shame really early...not sure why. I think some never do =(
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2009
For me it depends. Asked straight out I'm typically pretty open and honest (unless it's a total stranger) because I don't think it's okay for them to be asking such personal questions. I'm also surrounded by "people of faith" that think IVF is unnatural or some type of sin, so that can get tricky...
With the people in my life, they know of our journey, though we didn't share this last cycle with them as we knew they thought we had plenty of kids already and I didn't need that stress on top of everything else.
Sarah, 25 *IVF*First Cycle Canceled. Second Cycle Chemical Pregnancy. *Third Cycle Successful 3 weeks hospital for Pre-E. E&E born July 2010 via emergency cesarean at 34 weeks. NICU for a month. Now home & healthy. *FET with embies from cycle 3- BFN
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
Sarah ~ I didn't even think of the people of faith angle, I can see where that would get tricky. When you use your last embryos and have 7 babies your family will really think you have enough =)