Really struggling to be happy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2008
Really struggling to be happy
Mon, 03-12-2012 - 12:28pm

I know some people may look at how I'm feeling and just call me a selfish person..and I guess I do feel bad because I know so many people WANT to be pregnant and can't be...and here I am pregnant and just miserable.

I have 3 girls...20, 14 and 2 1/2. My husband is alot younger than me. He is 26-me 43. With my 2 1/2 year old I was very excited. I knew he wanted a boy as well, so I agreed to try again. For about a year after my 2 1/2 year old was born, we were really trying. But then I think about after a year I kind of lost hope of it happening and really started to be excited about fixing up my house and taking vacations. I gave away all of my baby stuff and was really in the mindset of being "done".

And then the surprise of being pregnant.And I have to say I really am not happy. I would even say I am unhappy. My husband=ecstatic. My daughters=thrilled. And then me, feeling OLD and horrible. The morning sickness is just awful this time around, I am exhaused and feeling like a big fat cow. I can't see

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2011
Mon, 03-12-2012 - 6:24pm
I totally understand..I really do. We were at that point after TTC and having ggod ol af show up month after month that we were starting to plan vacations and doing more with our farm and riding our horses, etc. This was a huge shock...but one I'm now feeling settled with now. I totally suggest having a quite talk with your ob at your next visit. Tell them about all your concerns. Trust me you'll be better off It truly is a blessing to be a mum again...and when you hold that lil one for the first time you'll realize how much you love them..and how amazing it is. Always remember you aren't have us ladies, who completely know how tough and overwhelming this can be..and how worth it is in the end. Talk to your ob about your ms too...and feel better soon


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2010
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 8:29am

I cannot say that I'm in the same boat as you emotionally with our #4, but it surely was a shock. Our 3 are 19/15/11 and I'd long since forgotten thinking about bringing a new baby into our lives. We were finished, for sure.

I don't think it's uncommon to be in a state when one finds oneself pregnant quite unexpectedly. I think we all react differently. Perhaps you'll feel better the further along you get. And once you get out of the dreaded MS phase.

I know for me that this has been a more exhausting pregnancy than I remember with the first 3. I'm 41, and even before I got pregnant, I was in bed early. I'm up early and by the end of a work day, I was just tired. Now at the end of a work day, I'm practically a narcoleptic. I cannot sit on the sofa at 4pm without dozing. And the MS really wore me down for a few weeks until I got some generic zofran. So I do to think that being older for some can mean a more challenging pregnancy. I'm almost half-way through our pregnancy and I don't think I'll ever be fully rested again for another few years.

Anyhoo, perhaps this is something worth discussing with either your OB or your family doc. Could be that your hormones are just out of whack with being pregnant, could be that you are clincially depressed. Hard to say, but worth seeking some help for and not suffer through. Even just talking with someone about it may help.

Best of luck to you!

Mom to Libby/17, William/12, and Jacob/8