41 and pregnant

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
41 and pregnant
Wed, 09-12-2012 - 1:51pm

Hi.  I was pleased to find this uplifting community as I could really use a group of friends now. As you read my story it will probably sound confusing and full of contradictions, but that is exactly what I am feeling.  I am 5 and a half weeks pregnant, and was not expecting the news.  I have a 2 young school-aged children.  As a young woman, I always thought I wanted a big family....but after many miscarriages, we were 'done' and had moved on.  One would expect that someone like this would be thrilled and overjoyed to find out she was pregnant again.  But, all I feel is panic.  Shouldn't an expectant mother be joyful?  I feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat, all the time.  I feel so much fear, probably much of the emotional pain of the miscarriages are being brought up again.  Sometimes it is pure panic.  I don't want to go through this again.  Also, after being a mother to 2, a third sounds like a very full plate.  I'm not sure how I feel about going back to doing the infant stuff again. I'm also very scared about the risks at my age. 

Has anyone else felt this way?  I am further fearful that I will never become excited about this pregnancy.  Has anyone else experienced disbelief, fear initially that eventually became love and excitement?

I do not have any friends with infants and I do not feel I will have much social support.  I'm sure this contributes to my emotional state.

Reading your posts and seeing the pictures of your beautiful babies has made me smile.  Thank you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2011
In reply to:
Wed, 09-12-2012 - 5:33pm


I completely understand your fears and alot could also be chalked up to hormones.  You are dealing with a rush of them right now and they will send your emotions all over the place!  I was in tears one sec and laughing the next..  I've had my losses and understand your worry.  Try to take it one day at a time.  Just be as healthy as you can be.  Eat well, sleep well, stay calm


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2012
In reply to:
Thu, 09-13-2012 - 12:34pm

Yes!!! I felt this exact same way. infact when I got my bfp I cried! It took me until I saw the first ultrasound of the baby to really start to feel something positive. Until then all I had was fears and dread. Right now I'm 33wks and I couldn't be more excited and thrilled. It took me a whle to get here but I seriously can't wait to have our baby here with us. It does get better, I promise! BTW I'm 43 with an 8yr old dd.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2013
In reply to:
Fri, 01-04-2013 - 7:17pm

I have THREE kids (15, 13, and 5) and I was just surprised by the news too and I turned 44 two weeks ago.  I totally understand your apprehension and it is perfectly okay and normal to feel overwhelmed and confused. Hang in there and I promise you, three is a lot (can't deny it!) but three isn't really any more chaos than two....

It is important to allow yourself to have these feelings and not add guilt to your stress!!