42 and shocked to be pregnant

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2011
42 and shocked to be pregnant
2
Sat, 07-23-2011 - 11:15am

I was active on the ivillage message boards back in the Trying to conceive after 35 days. Fast forward 5 years, I now have a beautiful 4 year old daughter, went through an ugly divorce 2 years ago, and finally got back on my feet in the dating world by meeting someone and dating for about 6 months. I broke up with him a month ago, and just found out I'm pregnant last week.

I'm trying so hard to think about the wonderful things about having a second child, but I sure didn't expect to be in this situation. I have so many concerns running through

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 07-25-2011 - 12:59pm
Hi pen-l, congratulations on your pregnancy!

You've got a lot to deal with right now, sending you lots of (((HUGS))). Personally, it might be a good idea to wait to tell anyone until you are out of your first trimester, and before you tell either your bf or ex, talk with your lawyer. You want to make sure to get all of your questions answered and so that you can anticipate any issues down the road.

With regards to the birth certificate, I think you have every right to use your last name since it will need your signature. From what I've read on the boards, it would be hard for the bf to get custody in the beginning if you are breastfeeding, but still, your lawyer would probably know the specifics. I'm sorry if your ex is going to give you a hard time about it. Hopefully he'll realize that he might be in the same position some day and might need your understanding.

Let us know how your appointment goes, we'll he here for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2011
Tue, 07-26-2011 - 6:34am

Thanks Melissa,

My first OB appt is on Thursday, and it can't get here fast enough! I also talked with a friend of mine who is a lawyer (though in another state) and he gave me some reassurance on the legal issues. Each day that passes I keep thinking of new things that freak me out (having to pump at work again, ugh!!!) and I'm trying to get the excitement up and the worries down. It's tough though.

Hope I can turn to this board for support, I'll probably be here a lot!