i am 46 and pregnant.
I'm so very sorry you're feeling like this.
Thank you so much for your reply.
I've had friends, young and old, that have gone through similar depression or anxiety during pregnancies.
Thank you so much to you guys for taking the time to reply and
I am the oldest of 6 kids, my youngest sister was born when I was 16. I think people put way too much on age gaps. Siblings are a blessing no matter how far apart they are in age, and the older I get,
I think it's normal to have the thoughts you're having given your circumstances. Heck, even in an ideal world, an unexpected pregnancy can throw us for a loop (this is my 6th pregnancy -- 3 children, 2 miscarriages, and we only tried to get pregnant twice, and this wasn't one of those).
I was concerned about how the children would react. Our oldest is 19 and I cannot tell you how many times she's voiced not wanting more siblings. She loves her little brothers, but you know. Kids like routine and a baby throws that off. Initially (and for about 20 minutes maybe) she was totally freaked out and not thrilled, but then she got on board because I just told her that this is the way it is, it isn't about her, and that's life. Suck it up, Buttercup. The 15yo was pissed initially because he thought he'd have to give up his room, but once he found out he didn't have to, he was fine. The baby, 11, thought we were lying. LOL. So I had a day where the kids were iffy but I'm a fairly no-nonsense mother and I don't do whining, particularly when it is about events over which we've no control.
As far as what anyone else thinks such as friends and family, that's not been a concern of mine. I don't care if people support what's going on in my life. I've got to live it, not them. Hubby and I are both employed so that's not a worry. We're already parents so we've got that going for us. We're happy, so there's that. Our life is a bit chaotic, but then when you have children, chaos somewhat goes with it. Once you have a couple kids, adding more isn't that big of a difference, at least not to me. Going from 1 to 2 kids was more challenging than from 2 to 3, for me anyway.
Now, your husband not being on board is the biggest obstacle, I think. I don't have any advice on that one. I hope he'll come around. It's possible that this has a lot to do with why you're so down. If you had his support, it would probably be easier. Maybe he could go to therapy with you?
I hope with time this gets easier for you. Being pregnant isn't easy in the best circumstances sometimes. Please keep us posted and come here to vent and to share... it helps to have people you can talk to, I think.
wonderful advice :) beebes and brie
Beebe and Brie, Thank you so very much for taking the time to right and share your thoughts etc. It is comforting to hear other peoples stories esp. about the age gap of kids, as that is weighing huge on me.