Also scared and stressed

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2011
Also scared and stressed
7
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 10:30pm

I could really use some advice. I turned 40 in December, and I am 4.5 weeks pregnant. I have an 8 year old daughter and a 5 year old son, who starts Kindergarten this Fall. We just moved to a new city and I am starting my own practice. Last June we experienced a unplanned pregnancy which ended at 6 weeks. Initially I was relieved and then I was really upset, I felt I caused it because of the amount of stress I felt and how I handled myself. So fast forward to now, and my husband and I actually tried and we said this would be the last time, after this lets let go and be done. Well it worked.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2011
Sun, 03-27-2011 - 8:27pm

Hi,

I think it's normal to be a bit fearful of the changes a 3rd child will bring to your life, and to have 2nd thoughts as a result.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2011
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 12:48am
Thank you for your kind words, I am trying to remind myself it is all how I look at it, just having a hard time switching gears. Thank you
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 4:11pm
((((HUGS))) I'm sorry you are having some mixed feelings about it. I think it's hard not to second guess yourself, try to focus on some of the joys you'll be able to experience with this baby. Keep us posted on how you are doing :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2011
Tue, 04-05-2011 - 11:38am

I can relate to you in so many ways! I have three. The youngest is 9, and I have enjoyed the freedom I've had and being able to take incredible family vacations and so on. But I always felt something was missing, so I talked my husband into putting off "surgery" and we just thought we'd see if anything happened. Nothing did for years, and then when I got closer to 40 (and my husband to his mid-40s, and my youngest closer to 10), I started to feel very content and satisfied. Still, I wanted to try one last time to make sure we really made the effort, and then of course I got pregnant. Suddenly I was very angry with myself and completely stressed out. I don't really want to be pregnant again, not this late in life, and I've really enjoyed having older kids and starting to move on to the next stage. I've been so mad at myself and can't figure out what I was thinking. Why wasn't I happy to leave well enough alone? But then I also keep thinking this happened for a reason, and friends and family assure me it will be a huge blessing in our lives. I worry every day that I made a huge mistake, but then I think how I, myself, was not expected by my parents, and my mom tells me all the time how glad she was to have me. I'm sure that when you see your baby, you will fall in love all over again and never have a another regretful thought.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2011
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 12:37am
Thanks to everyone for there helpful words. All that stress and ended up having a miscarriage. I started bleeding at 6 weeks, and found that I had two blood clots attached to pregnancy. The clots did not go away they ended up causing the pregnancy to miscarry at almost 8 weeks. So, as I do not have to go through the life changes, I do grieve and feel bad about my panic. But, I will grow from this lesson, and wish everyone on he board the best. Thanks for the support.
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 9:47am
(((HUGS))) I'm sorry :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2011
Wed, 05-04-2011 - 2:19pm

Almost the same thing happened to me. I have a sixteen and four year old child and I had a miscarriage about six months ago.

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